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Lisbet
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 5:37am | IP Logged
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I will admit, I have been offened over and over again by comments on this thread. We are currently looking for land to build on, no less than 3 acres please! Alot of assumptions have been made about families that are doing this. We are certainly NOT well off, my husband has a decent income and manages our money meticulously. We have scrimped and saved forever to finally make this happen. My husband will commute, probably about 45 minutes each way. We are doing it to isolate (yep, isolate!) our children from what we have been polluted with living where we do right now. We are doing it because it is what we feel is best for our family.
Granted, we have been burned, badly, by neighbors, over and over again. The worse offenders have moved away, praise God, but it has not ment the end of our issues.
It has nothing to do with wanting it all, it doesn't mean I think I am "more Catholic" (whatever that means...) than anyone in the city or suburbs. It doesn't mean that I don't care about the environment. It just means that we have taken our experiences here in the past 14 years to prayer, to discussion, and to more prayer, and it is what will offer us the peace we desperately need to raise our 9 children the way we feel God intended us to.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Lisbet
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 5:41am | IP Logged
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Lisa, I really think the difference lies in where we live. (our differing opinions on this.) We are not in a Catholic friendly area AT ALL!! I am a city council meeting kinda person also. I am constantly emailing my district councilman. My city is not a safe place to raise my large Catholic family. Yours sounds wonderful! If we had a better family frienly enviornment, we'd probably stay too. (that and slightly more room for my children to play outside) I love the idea of chatting over the back fence with the neighbormom, my kids riding bikes with other kids, or a game of football in the front yard, etc... That is simply NOT possible here.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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SusanJ
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 7:59am | IP Logged
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Lisa and any others who may have been offended in this thread, I do sincerely apologize. I have spent a long time with each of my contributions to this thread trying to write clearly and carefully so as not to offend anyone. I did not want to attack anyone's choice about where to live or sound like I was questioning the integrity of any one family's discernment on this issue. I ask forgiveness for instances where I failed to do this. I've probably, really, spent way too much time on this thread and I think I'll bow out, now.
God Bless,
Susan
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Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
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Mary G
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 8:30am | IP Logged
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It seems to me that "to each his own" is a wonderful motto for this particular thread.
Jesus said, His Father's house has many mansions -- I'm sure some of those are country houses, city townhouses and itty bitty apartments ... each to his own.
I've lived MANY places  ! I think I would love rural living, but I wouldn't want to give up city life completely either -- I like a great library system, walkability to church and work, etc. Since dh works for the Catholic church, we'll never have the money to have both  so I'm happy to be wherever God leads me at that time and to try my best to make whatever into a home for kith and kin.
Currently, my galley-style kitchen DRIVES ME NUTS  ! You just can't have more than one person in there at a time! But God is good and we'll be moving in a few months ... where? Country? City? Big Town? Little Town? Who knows...
The original question broached was meant to be a light-hearted, hypothetical "if you could have your dream home where would it be" ... let's try to keep it light, ok?
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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Bridget
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 8:45am | IP Logged
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Maybe we can look at it a little like religious orders. There are active (city) and contemplative (country). Not that there is anything contemplative about my home , but without neighbors and TV, we are a bit isolated from the culture. City families, in neighborhoods, seem to engage the culture more directly.
Active and contemplative... God wants both.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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LisaR
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 8:50am | IP Logged
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LisaR wrote:
It has been nice for me to learn from all of you, and it is fun to try to imagine us all homeschooling in our various locales. 
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I just want to ditto myself again! and, Mary G...it might be hard to keep it totally light hearted as in a way, WHERE one lives can be really a very important and emotional factor for the peace of one's own or family life. It is so hard to be "detached" from where we live, and therefore, I think this might be why it has been such a rich discussion!
Dh said: "do you think Mother Teresa's sisters would be having this discussion? and then he followed up with "but the hard thing is that we are not living the religious life vocation!"
There IS a certain peace and freedom to having absolutely no choice in the matter, like many religious, the more choices we have, the more quickly personal it becomes!
thanks again everyone!! Mary G, praying for your new home to have a larger kitchen!
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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LisaR
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 8:51am | IP Logged
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Bridget wrote:
Maybe we can look at it a little like religious orders. There are active (city) and contemplative (country). Not that there is anything contemplative about my home , but without neighbors and TV, we are a bit isolated from the culture. City families, in neighborhoods, seem to engage the culture more directly.
Active and contemplative... God wants both. |
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ha ha!! EXACTLY what dh and I were just discussing, great minds think alike
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Mary G
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 8:57am | IP Logged
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I was just mulling this over (in my too small kitchen making toast and cleaning up as no one else can get in there when I am ), and thought that part of the problem is that NO MATTER where we live ... my family and I will always be living counter-culturally ... but as long as it's not counter-Catholicly, I think we're doing good
Bridget -- I love the religious order idea; wonderful example! 
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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Mary Chris
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 9:06am | IP Logged
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I guess two thoughts come to my mind about this whole topic......
The first is I what strive to do, I don't know who to give credit for this quote other than Mary Englebriet
Bloom where you are planted!
I don't know that I belong in the 'burbs but it is where I am 
My second is from my friend Terry, she use to always tell me.....
You are right where you are suppose to be, until you shouldn't be there anymore.
I have taken that to mean, I need to listen and let the Holy Spirit work in my life.
Now have I mentioned....I have to pack and clean....
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Blessings, Mary Chris Beardsley
mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92
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LisaR
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 9:23am | IP Logged
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Mary Chris wrote:
Bloom where you are planted!
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I deleted this from my previous post, because I could not remember where I "got" it from! thanks! goes along nicely with the "supernatural" /practicing living in the present moment discussion going on now, too!
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Willa
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 9:43am | IP Logged
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Bridget wrote:
Maybe we can look at it a little like religious orders. There are active (city) and contemplative (country). Not that there is anything contemplative about my home , but without neighbors and TV, we are a bit isolated from the culture. City families, in neighborhoods, seem to engage the culture more directly.
Active and contemplative... God wants both. |
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I so agree. We live waaaay out in the mountains; we chose to live here but there are times I regret the lack of cultural opportunities. It is amazingly hard to get anywhere -- and we have only one car for a family of nine. DH works at home and eldest ds is away at college.
I've even whined sometimes to friends about the isolation and the lack of ready culture but the truth is that I believe God wants different families to be diverse. This applies to homeschooling styles, to where we live, what we do for a living, and so many more things. We do have advantages and I don't think we are retreating by living here, just facing different kinds of challenges than people in the cities and suburbs do.
I think that it's possible that when people feel a "calling" to change their living situation, it may a gentle call from God. My DH used to work in a company, but he was getting burned out and we realized that if we lived simply and made use of our savings he could go freelance. That isn't the topic here but it is a bit the same in that God doesn't necessarily call everyone to start their own business, but we have found it a good thing for our family overall.
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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LisaR
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 9:49am | IP Logged
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ahhh where were you earlier!! I was looking for the working from home persective!
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Jess
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| Posted: April 03 2008 at 12:10pm | IP Logged
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Lisbet,
I admire you for scrimping and saving so that your family can move to a better place. We hope to do that someday. We are an Army family so we are having a hard time deciding if we want to stay in the house we have in town or try to move out of town a little. Unfortunately here the land prices are really high and if we found something with a house already on it it would be really high. We hope to build one day on a few acres. We have already been here for 6 years which is a long time for an Army family so I don't know how much longer we will be here, probably for awhile, but you never know. Someday we would like to make the move out into the country, so we are hoping that building up equity where we are now will help. I hope you are able to find the place of your family's dreams
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God bless,
Jess
+JMJ+
wife to dh('96)
mama to dd(13), dd(11), ds(9), dd(6), and dd (2), and baby girl born Sept 14!
star cottage
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happymama
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Not to beat the topic to death, but...
a response to the idea that wanting the country life is somehow elitist, because not everyone can have it:
A beloved parish priest told me to my face last year that wanting to homeschool my children during their early years is elitist. It was the exact word he used. If my local parish has a Catholic school, then choosing to not participate in that ministry is bad for the school. If "all the kids from good Catholic families" suddenly dropped out to be home schooled, then the entire student body would suffer.
Compare that to the idea that if "all the good Catholic families" suddenly dropped out of the cities, then the cities would suffer. Yes, they would. But choosing where to live and how to educate our children are both natural rights.
All families, regardless of budget, try to find ways to incorporate rest and relaxation. Some have hobbies or take vacations. What my husband and I want is a quiet place in the country. It's not like we would STEAL the land - it would be land that someone WANTS to sell!
A few years back I bought the book One Acre and Security which attempts to answer the question - if i only had one acre, how could I survive and still treat the land with respect? It describes everything from how to build your own log cabin to organic gardening to raising small animals. To me, this is know-how that is basic to human survival. It's "practical life" for the Montessori adult - and these are skills we'd love to teach our children. It seems that my generation has lost a lot of basic survival skills, like how to survive without electricity.
Finally, if we did have a place in the country as a "second home" or get-away, it would be generously shared with family and friends from the city. It would be a retreat open to all - one without TV or computers, but most certainly "a basket of great books" as Elizabeth would say!
I think of JP2 ministering to college students in Poland - by taking them out of the city and onto kayaks, or John Bosco taking troubled young men out of the city and into the country. Some people have the need for open space in their blood... like my husband and I, who come from a long line of farmers. Toughest and most faithful people you'll ever meet...
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lapazfarm
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Wonderful responses, ladies! I would love to see this topic stick to what we LOVE about where we live (or want to live) and ease up on the criticism of other folks' choices. Let's keep it positive, shall we?
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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LLMom
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Move to the south where land is still reasonable. We live out in the country on 10 acres and will always, God willing. But there are sacrifices. We are 20 minutes from any town and it only has about 20,000 people. The largest town is an hour away. ANd we know how gas is. Also, I have never equated living in the country with being well off. We are definintly not that!
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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
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MarilynW
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Bumping (Happy Birthday 4 real!)
This is something I am pondering (agonizing/dreaming!!!)at the moment......
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Marilyn
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: live in town or the country?
