Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Subject Topic: Spirited Child Help...Again! Post ReplyPost New Topic
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Tina P.
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Posted: Jan 31 2008 at 1:56pm | IP Logged Quote Tina P.
I have a 13 yo who is challenging me, constantly, with his spiritedness. I can completely identify with the feeling that evil spirits have invaded his person. He asks me, "Why?" incessantly. He's defiant. He's careless in school work. He harrasses his brothers and sisters to tears. I feel like a failure as a parent and as a home school mom when I think of how he's turning out. But then all the rest of my children are turning out differently, trying harder in school, acquiesing when asked to help in any way.

He apologizes, but if he meant it, wouldn't he try to do better? He's driven me to my knees in tears too many times to count.

And Nancy, I must ask, HOW did your boy change his ways without driving you insane first?

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mandamum
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Posted: Feb 11 2008 at 2:35pm | IP Logged Quote mandamum
Re: giving attention of a different kind

I found Redirecting Children's Behavior by Kathryn Kvols to be helpful--in one section, it goes through a couple of different behaviors, and what might be causing them, and how to meet the need behind the behavior while discouraging the inappropriate attempt to get the need met. One example, I think, was a child pestering for attention, interrupting, etc, and without making eye contact, you rub child's back to meet their need without responding to their interruption, and go on with your conversation.

Another suggestion I have seen various places is to make a "love bag" with your child, filled with strips of paper listing various ways they like to be shown they are loved. "Back rub" "Read a book together" etc. And when the child feels the need for some attention, instead of acting out to get it, they can bring you the bag. This might work for the less-squeaky wheels in the house as well.
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