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Pamin OZ
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| Posted: Dec 28 2007 at 4:27am | IP Logged
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SO true about being a perfectionist and how unhelpful (and ungodly) that can be.
On a less exalted note, I found a decluttering calendar for 2008. Go to this blog and follow the link for the free calendar. You have to sign up for emails. If they are annoying I plan to discontinue them.
The calendar looks good. Just a bit to do over the whole year. Maybe we could let each other know how we are going if others do this, too?
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Pam in Sydney
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/paminoz/
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Dec 28 2007 at 7:09am | IP Logged
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Angel wrote:
Simplicity has been our goal for several years now, but progress has been slow. Mostly, I think, it's just that it has taken time for our perspective to evolve. So it's like my dh and I are traveling the road in stages.
One of our goals is simply to have less stuff. |
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I know exactly what you mean Angela! Less *stuff* seems to be the key, but getting there when you already have an overflowing house-full of *stuff* seems daunting - you feel like you're drowning in it don't you?
Angel wrote:
And then the *boxes* came.
So all the stuff gains we made in the past few months have been negated and I am trying hard not to feel demoralized. |
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Don't let this get you down!!! Seriously. Let the kids enjoy their loot for a little while. It takes time to come up with a plan, and it seems that while you and your dh tried to implement a very common sense plan, your well-meaning mil over-rode.  We've been there! I would guess that many of us face this issue at birthdays and Christmas, in spite of our constant striving for simplicity. This has been the first year my family didn't go completely overboard!
Here's what I do about this challenge - I purge at key times of the year. Advent and Lent! Advent just seems to make sense because in our time of preparation, I feel it is good to prepare the house in a way that eliminates clutter and things that have become un-useful. It works.
Then Lent is just around the corner. By then, I feel like I'm drowning in all the Christmas and birthday *stuff.* I go through the house again. My philosophy is simple and I get the kids on board when I bag and purge! I explain that God has given us (their dad and I) many *things* to use to take care of them and enrich their lives, bring beauty into the home, educate them. If something in our home is no longer useful in those areas, God prefers that we not hoard, but pass it on to someone else who can make use of it. And I am brutal!!! Trendy toys ALL go! We purge DVD's, everything. I give most away. But, I do consign a large portion of the children's clothes at a small consignment store because I get in-store credit there and then I can help with the clothing budget by buying the kids clothes in one place.
Angel wrote:
| While the stuff might seem the logical place to start, I think that first I have to work on my attitude and my planning. I tend to be perfectionistic, which is a bad combination for my below-average housekeeping and organizational skills (thankfully, those are improving with hard work -- but, boy, is it a lot of work!!!) So I need to simplify my attitude first. Instead of needing my ENTIRE life to fit perfectly into some sort of ideal which does not admit the needs and desires of other people, I need to focus first and foremost on the health and happiness of my family. If I keep "health and happiness" foremost in my mind, other priorities fall into place, and I can minimize less important tasks. |
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I wonder if you feel below-average in your housekeeping skills not because you are a perfectionist, but rather because you are frustrated because cleaning just means moving one stack to another stack. KWIM?
You are right that de-cluttering does have to make room for the reality of life with children. Toys themselves are not bad, but a gluttonous amount of toys I think could be bad.
In addition to my Advent and Lent purges, there are other times during the year when I feel frustrated - unable to keep up with the day to day cleaning. I feel the children are unable to clean their own rooms because the level of toys has become overwhelming to them. The pantry is overflowing with plastic. Laundry is mounting. I just can't homeschool, make dinner, tend to life...AND...thoroughly clean up those sorts of overwhelming messes. I give myself permission to take 1-2 weeks off from school to focus on the house. That's the key for me! I'm not woman enough to keep up with major clearing of clutter and homeschooling - my sanity would be gone the first day!
I do it one room at a time, creating a drop zone in the garage where I drop off garbage bags full of *stuff* that needs to be given away to a family that can make better use of it. After spending 2 weeks utterly focused on doing a thorough kitchen cabinet/pantry, bathroom, bedroom, bookshelf, everywhere PURGE I feel much better, much more at ease in my home. The things that are left are working for the family now. There is a visual place for everything to be returned when it is no longer being used. There's never been a shortage of toys here.  No one complains anyway. And when the whole family has the perspective that the material *stuff* is fine for our use, but needs to move on to another family when it is suffocating us and no longer useful, it seems to place the *stuff* in the right perspective for our family.
I also made use of Kim's suggestions for creating a Home Management Journal by creating one of my own. It helped me in organizing the different areas of my house. It has been a work in progress to be sure, but one thing I found was that when I was creating focus room checklists for myself and the children to use as a guide for cleaning was that if I couldn't "clean" the room on paper in a checklist form, then that room wasn't in a functional state and it needed an overhaul. Make sense?
It is challenging to live this - and it seems to be an ever-evolving process with ebbs and flows like everything else. Once I started though I felt much more at peace in our home. Before I started de-cluttering I felt overwhelmed, like I was drowning. And I kept making excuses that my house wasn't laid out well, that this didn't make sense here or there...if I could only move a wall or 3 it would work better for us... Then I came to the realization that this was the home God was providing for us through the efforts of my hard-working husband, it was up to me to "make it work!" I'm not done - ever! Leading a simpler life really calls us to be on our guard at all times, ever watchful for materialism as it seems to creep in to every corner in little ways until it is all of a sudden everywhere. So I definitely don't think it happens overnight!!! Nor do I believe that if you spend a month purging, you'll be done forever. It's just a way of life, and we're all feeling the urge now for simpler, quieter, more peaceful living. I think that's the prompting of the Holy Spirit!
Prayers for all of us as we try our best to follow these interior promptings, making our homes pleasing and peaceful to our families and to our Heavenly Father.
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Servant2theKing
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| Posted: Dec 28 2007 at 7:14am | IP Logged
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This is such a timely and wonderful thread!
One tip that really helps simplify family life is making improvements in baby steps...don't try to accomplish everything all at once...simply incorporate some small practice into your normal routine and watch new habits slowly develop as you go along.
Somewhere in this discussion meal preparation and a desire to waste less food was mentioned. We have slowly but surely added small steps toward that end. We chop extra vegetables or brown extra meat and freeze them. We make double or triple batches for meals, sides or desserts. We make casseroles or soup fixings out of leftovers, right from the dinner table and freeze them. During the days of Christmas celebration I was able to prepare and freeze four extra meals, a side dish and several pans of dinner rolls. For example: Christmas day we had ham, steamed broccoli, and some really great au gratin potatoes...as we cleared the table I made a casserole from the potatoes, ham and broccoli, and a soup base with water from the broccoli, ham, broccoli, canned tomatoes and some chopped celery, onion, peppers and carrot that we had frozen in rainbow layers the Saturday before (just odds and ends left from cutting up relish tray items and salad fixins). Once you begin doing this it will become an effortless habit that bears wonderful fruit in the well-stocked freezer and readymade home-cooked meals!
Our oldest son is taking culinary courses for becoming a chef. He learned that French chefs originally employed skills they had developed as peasants, in using every bit of food, for creating incredible food for royalty. He is learning many techniques for making wonderful food from the simplest ingredients and I'm enjoying learning from him as he goes along.
We can also borrow other skills chefs use in the kitchen. Most chefs have an assistant that prepares all ingredients...we can employ the many hands of our children to make light work in the kitchen. I didn't have to chop most of the ingredients for all our Christmas cooking...our children love that chore, especially since they have their very own color-coded knives.
To borrow from another source...convents used to assign specific tasks to their sisters...we can give each child certain duties in the kitchen, or other areas of the home. If we help them develop a healthy pride in a job well done, through genuine encouragement and praise, they will learn to enjoy work!
So much of what has been discussed here will flow more freely when our lives are lived in greater union with the Holy Family. The more we LIVE our faith, the more we become a true Domestic Church. Physical or tangible steps toward peace, harmony and order are born of prayerfully, authentically living as Jesus, Mary and Joseph would have. Praying together while you are working together makes a holy experience out of the mundane! Listening to religious music or audio talks while you work together also sanctifies the experience!
Such things don't happen overnight, they take a lifetime on the Journey! Take hope, though, I can truly attest to the fact that it gets simpler and sweeter the longer you travel the pathway to Heaven! We have homeschooled since 1990...each year has gotten better and better! May you all be blessed with profound joy in your journey!
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All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
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Molly Smith
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| Posted: Dec 28 2007 at 8:37am | IP Logged
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Servant2theKing wrote:
To borrow from another source...convents used to assign specific tasks to their sisters...we can give each child certain duties in the kitchen, or other areas of the home. If we help them develop a healthy pride in a job well done, through genuine encouragement and praise, they will learn to enjoy work!
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A friend who grew up with many siblings told me that her mom assigned each child a room to keep clean, in addition to their own room. She said it worked great because you were less likely to leave a mess in your siblings' assigned rooms so that they'd pick up after themselves in your assigned room, thus keeping the work light for all.
We implemented the "Adopt a Room" program for the main level of our home in October and it worked great. We switched rooms in November, and again, it worked great. Somehow December slipped by us, but things stayed at an acceptable level. We'll start again in January.
Really, as in all things, consistency is key. My problem is that I fall into lazy habits so easily and my family naturally follows my lead.
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Molly Smith in VA
Mom to seven beautiful children, ages 1-14
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Stephanie_Q
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| Posted: Jan 02 2008 at 10:15am | IP Logged
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We just returned from visiting family...with a lot of stuff. Although I've been working on simplifying and organizing for a while, with a lot of purging prior to Thanksgiving, I'm feeling like my head just went back underwater...so I am particularly grateful for all the ideas and encouragement in this thread.
The only thing I'd like to add is that I've been following with interest the installations of Abby Sasscer's e-book, Simplifying Your Domestic Church, which is under "Important Resources" at CHC's Free Curricula page. I really like how the focus is spiritual; instead of "decluttering" we're "detaching".
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sweetiesmom
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| Posted: Jan 02 2008 at 12:36pm | IP Logged
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I am really enjoying reading this thread. It is inspiring to read all of your plans. Simplify seems to be a key word here too. We are trying to sell our house(has been on the market since July), and I am drowning in trying to keep up with the 'clean enough to show' house, the schooling for 3 and the day to day stuff. Dh travels weekly and now that the holidays are over I really need to simplify.
We have already packed and moved alot to storage, and although it was hard at first. We have really learned to live with less. Now my goal is to organize the less, and purge the storage unit and get rid off all that we don't want to move.
Great thread!
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: A Year of Simplicity
