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Angie Mc
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Lisbet wrote:
Angie,
I hope you didn't think that I was saying your definition of mother culture could be considered selfish. |
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Not at all, friend! I knew exactly what you meant.
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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amyable
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Nina Murphy wrote:
I think we all are trying SO hard and want SO badly to be good and do what is right....(and we ought to) but we need to cut ourselves some slack once in a while and just recognize our limitations...putting on the proverbial airmask first and allowing ourselves that "time". |
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I guess I still don't "get" this...where does it say we should do this? Quote me the Bible or some saints or Pope John Paul II or something ladies! 
I think as a product of my upbringing I think I'm supposed to be giving 210% all the time or it's not good enough ... but no one yet has convinced me I *shouldn't* be. A box of chocolates to the first person who can! 
__________________
Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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Lisbet
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Amy, When I read your post it occured to me that as mothers, we do this for our family without hesitation. We 'circle the wagons' so to speak when things get crazy and hectic, hunker down for a day or season even to restore the peace. (Whether it be b/c the kids are sick or things just get to hairy!)
I can see now that we do need to do this for ourselves too. Our families do not comprise of just our children and our husbands, WE are part of that too. I meet the needs of each family member where they are, the baby needs snuggle, nursing, constant contact, I give it to care for him. My husband needs quiet adult conversation and a cold stout in the evening, I see that it happens, my tweens needs to chatter my ear off for an hour, I listen, etc... this keeps everyone on a nice even keel, needs are met, everyone is happy. Moms need the same, so the WHOLE family unit is nurtured.
Also, we really, really need to stop and think of just who's standards we are living up to. Who are we giving %210 for?
Much of what you said Nina really made sense to me. Esp. the ebb and flow of it all. I have seen it over and over again!
I certainly blabbed here, but I wanted to share a 'lightbulb moment'. This is a very interesting topic!
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Rachel May
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The personality/introvert/extrovert thoughts have given me more to chew on. Thanks!
Angie, if you like In This House of Brede (I LOVED it), you will definitely enjoy Five for Sorrow, Ten for Joy. I love how she makes nuns REAL people.
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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Angie Mc
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amyable wrote:
I guess I still don't "get" this...where does it say we should do this? Quote me the Bible or some saints or Pope John Paul II or something ladies!
I think as a product of my upbringing I think I'm supposed to be giving 210% all the time or it's not good enough ... but no one yet has convinced me I *shouldn't* be. A box of chocolates to the first person who can! |
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You crack me up, Amy...I want the chocolates! I suppose I could be tricky and ask you to quote me the Bible or some saints or Pope John Paul II to prove that the vocation of wife and mother and the responsibilities of home educating are enhanced by maternal exhaustion, depletion, despair, burden, and a grim demeanor...but I wouldn't do that  . (I know you aren't advocating this either, Amy. You are such a bright light.)
I see Mother Culture as part of how I give my vocation and home educating responsibilities my all, my 100%. I can't give my all if I am running on empty. Hard work needs energy to fuel it. This is natural law.
"Giving 210% and it still isn't good enough" is a cultural trap. When I was at my peak as a working professional and giving 210%, I was working hard but to what end? I was harming myself. My family relations suffered. I eventually came to see that I was a hard worker (naturally and raised to be,) but I wasn't disciplined. I needed to learn how to take care of myself and my relationships within the context of my work. I value hard work yet I need to be careful that I'm actually working in a disciplined and deliberate way, based on God's will for me. I can easily *appear* to be working hard while, in fact, I'm mindlessly running from one thing to the next. I need to choose carefully. This takes discipline.
In the context of living out the vocation of wife and mother with home educating responsibilities, I want to be disciplined and consistent. Mine is a marathon ministry directed at specific people, my husband and children, over a very long period of time. There will be seasons of physical intensity (ex: pregnancy throung infancy) and times of crisis (ex: illness, death, relocation). Yet, most of our time is spent within a routine that is made doable through the grace of God, love, and discipline. A marathoner doesn't sprint to the point of exhaustion, collapse, then get up and do it again...over and over again. She figures out how to pace herself, how to anticipate a steep mountain on a mostly flat course, and how to handle surprises. She also accepts that she is in a marathon. She keeps a check on her thought processes by not debating with herself if she should be in the marathon. She avoids doubt that she can finish the marathon. She doesn't believe that switching from one brand of running shoes makes the ultimate difference in outcome. She simply puts one foot in front of the other, with her eyes looking ahead, stays fueled and hydrated, and concentrates on the finish line.
Each home educating family is called and gifted with a different activity level within our routine. The key is to choose carefully and have enough energy to fulfill our calling and do our work with contentment and happiness.
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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amyable
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Thank you Lisa and Angie for your thoughts. I don't want to push this thread away from it's original intent of discussing mother culture, so maybe I'll chew on this for a bit and bring it to my blog.  I'll start a new thread instead if others have an interest in discussing it, but I think I started a thread that discussed something similar about a year ago, and I don't want 4Real to start looking like "Amy's Psychotherapy Site"
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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Angie Mc
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Nina Murphy wrote:
| Look: know thyself... And thy marriage. Things ebb and flow. There might be more "indulgent" times, and that is the way it simply is. I think if we live in the Spirit and believe we are His Children, we need to trust that His Will is being done in us, and live in the Present Moment without over analyzing everything....putting on the proverbial airmask first and allowing ourselves that "time". |
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Love the airmask metaphor, Nina. Thank you for your helpful words. The way you describe ebb and flow fits with my experience to a T. We experience times of routine, times of intensity, times of crisis, and round and round. During routine times, which is what I've been discussing on this thread, are the times I stock up on Mother Culture. When intense family times come, Mother Culture can become quite small. When crisis comes, Mother Culture is put on hold with the hope of the return of the routine.
Rachel May wrote:
| Angie, if you like In This House of Brede (I LOVED it), you will definitely enjoy Five for Sorrow, Ten for Joy. I love how she makes nuns REAL people. |
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No, I haven't read this book. Thanks, Rachel!
Lisbet wrote:
I can see now that we do need to do this for ourselves too. Our families do not comprise of just our children and our husbands, WE are part of that too....this keeps everyone on a nice even keel, needs are met, everyone is happy. Moms need the same, so the WHOLE family unit is nurtured.
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Very helpful, Lisa! You reminded me that our family is the Body of Christ. We are a whole family unit in need of nurturing. Lovely.
amyable wrote:
| Thank you Lisa and Angie for your thoughts. I don't want to push this thread away from it's original intent of discussing mother culture, so maybe I'll chew on this for a bit and bring it to my blog. |
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Amy, I know from your posts here that you live under very intense circumstances, yet your energy and humor shine brightly. But before you move on to another topic...
how does Mother Culture translate into your day to day life?
Anyone else?
How about a cup of Good Earth tea. Very relaxing, delicious, and takes only a few minutes.
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Nina Murphy
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amyable wrote:
Nina Murphy wrote:
I think we all are trying SO hard and want SO badly to be good and do what is right....(and we ought to) but we need to cut ourselves some slack once in a while and just recognize our limitations...putting on the proverbial airmask first and allowing ourselves that "time". |
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I guess I still don't "get" this...where does it say we should do this? Quote me the Bible or some saints or Pope John Paul II or something ladies!
I think as a product of my upbringing I think I'm supposed to be giving 210% all the time or it's not good enough ... but no one yet has convinced me I *shouldn't* be. A box of chocolates to the first person who can! |
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Amy, I'd like to address this.
I really think it depends on how much stress you have in your life. Natalia mentioned the simple difference sometimes between sanity and insanity.... You know, the truth is: a mother knows when she gets there. A wife knows. God wants us to deny ourselves daily; yes, that is clear. But He does not want us killing ourselves---literally. Allowing it, the degeneration, passively. We are to care for ourselves and our souls.
You know when you are beginning to feel crushed like grapes in a winepress. You are given forewarning to take care. We should not feel that we are drowning or suffocating before we do something. It is preventative, prudence, balance, wisdom. Aristotle said virtue is the means between two extremes. And so much of Aquinas is based on his philosophy. We don't reject that wisdom as Catholics. We learn from it and build on it.
A mother of two or three young children or even one special needs' child may feel so much pressure and tension, that she needs to step back and meditate on introducing some changes. Conversely, a mother like Lisa with many, many children spaced closely together, who has them home with her all day, even in limited spaces, with limited finances, may still by the grace of God and in consideration of inborn temperament, ingrained dispositions, talents, gifts, what have you: have a great hold on things and on her emotions; have reasonably ordered or calm children, a responsive and gentle husband and the resulting serenity that comes from that core relationship, etc. etc. And feel things are going along smoothly and no major breaks or new ways of stimulating herself are needed. I know many women like that! Really! On both ends. We really are just so unique and individual.
But I say, Lisa and Amy: if anyone *deserves* Mother Culture AND mother sabbaticals, it's you, sweet and generous mothers.
-------------------------------------------------------
But a good point: I do want to apologize in that I spoke incorrectly originally re: Mother Culture. Lisa, you were referring to this phrase and concept originally. I mistook it for the "Mother's Sabbath" concept, and was discussing the merit of mother sabbaticals. From what I have gleaned and I may be incorrect, I take Mother Culture to be addressing the need for intellectual and spiritual nourishment and inspiration, as opposed to Mother's Sabbath which perhaps is addressing more the emotional and physical needs for rest and breaks. And I think that is what I was initially zeroing in on, and inappropriately, due to the topic thread.
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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CrunchyMom
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I posted on AMy's blog, but I thought I would bring some of my thoughts here as well.
I tended to agree with Amy that "cutting myself slack" sounded counter to my calling to be a saint. Yet, as I hashed out my thoughts in my response, I think that perhaps it is just different choice of words. Scruples are bad, as well, and we do need ways to lift our eyes up to the heavens instead of focusing on our self (even if that focus is critical in nature).
Someone mentioned things such as going to have manicures and pampering. Not that it is a sin to do such, but if Amy's doubts are like mine, those are the types of comments which gave me pause.
However, after reading the article linked, I wonder if that is really what it is ultimately supposed to be. It seems Andreola's concept is that of spreading the joy of life to our children by modeling it.
Perhaps, mother culture like other things, is something we have to grow into doing well. An introvert needs alone time to function well. Initially, one can get that alone time by going to the salon, but eventually as we grow in our faith, we learn to use that alone time as Christ did by going to the Father in prayer.
No offense meant at all. Like the previous poster, I don't enjoy the spa treatment either, so I can't relate to it in that way. However, I am not sure that I want the model I present to my children to be that the greatest joy comes from pampering. I would rather they see it in giving and even in creating. We are imitating our Creator when we work to create beautiful things out of love. When we find joy in reading a good book, the goodness in it comes from God.
I also think that perhaps this discussion reminds that simple things don't have to be devoid of substance.
It seems some of us are apt to feel guilty if we indulge in reading things that aren't "heavy," and yet, I must say that rereading "Little Men" last week while the baby was sick in arms did as much to inspire me in ways to teach virtue to my boys as many other "headier" books about virtue I have read--and it was a refreshing delight during the difficult time.
I also find that when I am "self indulgent" I don't feel refreshed at all. I feel gross--like when one overeats. It seems a delicate balance to recognize the things that are good for our soul and inspire us to keep fighting the fight with self-indulgence for its own sake. However, the Church models that in some sense as well by having the feast days as well as the times of penance.
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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hylabrook1
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I'm enjoying reading this thread. One thought I'd like to put out there: Yes, it is our calling to serve God and our families, even to serve God by serving our families. BUT we are human, and God certainly knows that. Like Nina said, we all know our limits, when we're being stretched too far. Yes, more growth happens by our moving out, in faith, into that new zone created by the stretching. BUT, as I mentioned, we are human. That perfect, complete self-giving, giving to the point where we have no life left in us, is not, imho, what God wants us to do. HE does/did that for us. In a way, it is humility to recognize that, as humans, we need to tend our needs, we need to refuel. We do not possess, in ourselves, that perfect, infinite reality that is God.The *trick* is to know the difference between that that healthy replenishing and self-indulgence. That wisdom to discern the difference is something we need to pray for.
Not meaning to get too far off track. My *bottom line* point is that Mother Culture is made up of those things that replenish us, and it is necessary for us as human beings.
Sort of rambling, but I hope there is a grain of insight there.
Peace,
Nancy
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Natalia
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I have not had a chance to read the article linked, but I have been thinking about this thread so I will post some thoughts I have had and see what you think:
First, my definition of Mother Culture is everything and anything that nurtures my vocation as a mother. Therefore reading The Mission of Motherhood by Sally Clark would classify but so will all those things that would help me to embrace my vocation with JOY. So having a good visit with a friend, eating some chocolate after a long day, drinking some tea, getting to go to the bathroom in peace,a good cuddle with dh, and even a spa treatment can help me to embrace my vocation because they can be restorative. They can replenish my tank so that I can have something to give.
We all know that we can't give what we don't have. If I don't have joy, I can't teach my kids to live joyful lives. If I lack peace, I can't expect my home to be a peaceful environment. If I can't love myself by taking the time to take care of myself, I can't teach my kids to take care of themselves. If I am grumbling and irritable I teach my kids that motherhood is a duty to be endured. I teach them that we love until we kill ourselves.
I do know that Jesus said in John 13,34: "I give you a new commandment: love one another; you must love one another just as I have loved you." And, I also know that he loved me by laying down his life for me, his friend. But he lay down his life freely. He didn't lay down his life because he ran himself ragged and then had no choice but to die. He took time away to pray and replenish his soul, he talked to his Father, he took time away from his duties to be with his most intimate friends, he took time to celebrate, to eat, to sleep. I think that we take time to do these things, we will then be FREE to lay down our lives for our families.
Jesus also said that the commandments could be summarized in love your God with all your mind and soul (I am paraphrasing here) and your neighbor AS YOURSELF. I think it would be interesting to talk about what loving yourself means.It doesn't say love others more than you love yourself, right?
Natalia
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Angie Mc
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CrunchyMom wrote:
I posted on AMy's blog, but I thought I would bring some of my thoughts here as well.
I tended to agree with Amy that "cutting myself slack" sounded counter to my calling to be a saint. Yet, as I hashed out my thoughts in my response, I think that perhaps it is just different choice of words. |
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Thanks, Lindsay. You have reminded me of two things. A quick...
*Moderator Note*
In the past, when discussion about the same topic is going on at other online volunteer services (such as yahoogroups or blogs) there can be a blurring of back and forth that gets confusing. In general, members here speak for themselves and link to helpful resources, but we refrain from assuming that others are reading the other sources. We base our discussion on "those in the room."
Choice of words:
Would you all like to hash out a succinct and working definition of Mother Culture together that will speak in an "encouraging, supportive, informative, ...humorous...energizing...reassuring" (the goal of the Mother Nurture forum) way that will be helpful to the members of this board? We can look at our choice of words and also our assumptions. For example, I assume that the members of this board give their primary attention to prayer and dependence on God (or may be open to this as a goal to work toward.) Mother Culture doesn't, shouldn't displace this. I also assume that members want to fulfill their vocation as wife and mother and her duties as a home educating mother well to include willingly sacrificing.
More later but I'm out the door for my busy outside day. Have a great one, all. Thanks for contributing to this subject.
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Nina Murphy
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Natalia wrote:
Jesus also said that the commandments could be summarize in love your God with all your mind and soul (I am paraphrasing here) and your neighbor AS YOURSELF. I think it would be interesting to talk about what loving yourself means.It doesn't say love others more than you love yourself, right?
Natalia |
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Very salient point. Fr. John Berg, FSSP, used to constantly remind me not to forget the order of charity in the spiritual life. FIRST, God. SECOND, self. THIRD, spouse. FOURTH, children, FIFTH, work; and then everything else and every one else comes after (....in my case, it was often extended family).
In other words, you MUST love yourself, your soul, enough to be vigilant about what state your soul is in and where you are going....it is not selfish to be keeping our selves (that is our eternal souls) in mind and at the forefront. And of course, our bodies are the houses for our souls, so there is a symbiotic relationship, but I won't go off on that!
We only ultimately have control over our own souls and where they are going and our own relationship to God. We have more of an effect on others ultimately by awareness of that basic humble truth.
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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amyable
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I'm sorry, I wouldn't have taken things off to my blog if I knew the conversation would stay in the same vein here.
Thank you all for contributing your thoughts - how blessed am I to be in the company of such wise and compassionate women!
As far as how "mother culture" plays out in my day to day life, it's mostly me stealing a moment or two to read, blog, visit here, etc. I think the only way I've survived the last 2.5 months of constant baby crying is because I keep a laptop on the couch next to me and when I'm nursing, bouncing,rocking I can read blogs! (my kids are usually far away because of the crying, lol, they are tired of it and need their peace too). My family probably thinks I have a digestive disorder too because I spend so much time in the bathroom...where I keep a stack of books and take just a little too long coming out! Listening to audiobooks with the kids always makes me feel better too.
Even though I crave quiet and alone time, it seems I am especially lifted up when I find something that I like that we can all do together. (quietly )
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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10 Bright Stars
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Angie,
I REALLY enjoyed your analogy of the marathon runner. For some reason, seeing my vocation in that comparison made me see some of the mistakes I am making more clearly. I ALWAYS question why I am in the race. That would be ridiculous to do, given your analogy, but I do that with homeschooling all the time. Also, I always think the different or new running shoes (i.e new curriculum, schedule change, school/homeschooling idealogy and even school room paint color or setup) will magically fix whatever is ailing me. But, thinking about that in comparison to the marathon runner made me see that would be silly! So, contentment seems to be a theme with me this month. I even got a mailing from a protestant list I must be on (Managers of Their Homes link since I purchased their book in the past) and although I usually don't read their stuff, I happened to read her post on contentment this month. So, I really thought your thoughts were right on target!!!! I think we so often get side-tracked trying to fix this or that through change or become discontented with our lives or environment that we forget we are in a race to heaven with our children and spouse in tow. We have to take care of ourselves through prayer and "mother culture/nurture" etc. but we never just stop the race!!!! SO, thank you for your VERY interesting thoughts. Maybe I needed someone to paint a mental picture for me to see things more clearly.
God bless!!!
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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10 Bright Stars
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Amyable,
I wanted to pipe in concerning "What Pope said to take care of yourself etc." to paraphrase what you were asking. I have read somewhere along the way that Pope John Paul the Great used to sneak out of the Vatican with a few good friends to go snow skiing without all the necessary guards and security!!!!!! They had a waiting car and off he would go! ALso, he DID take time off for a retreat and for "approved" snow skiing. He loved to hike in the mountains, enjoyed nature etc. Pope Benedict, then Cardinal Ratzinger, loves to play the piano for relaxation and also walked around the area where he lived each day for recreation etc. prior to becoming pope. Even in the monastary, St. Therese of Lisieux used to put on plays where she was St. Joan of Ark and she used to paint murals on the walls etc. In normal monastic life, there are recreational periods during which the cloistered exercise, and they have time to enjoy music, painting, crafts etc. I think God doesn't expect us to become workaholics or neglect ourselves and our health. I usually fall very short in this area too. I feel guilty if I sew or get stressed feeling if the children interupt me if I am trying to exercise etc. I think there is a balance that has to be struck.
I try to find a little time on Sunday afternoons to sew, at least an hour or less, and then I also enjoy reading and goofing off on here!! I also run off to town to shop now and then, but my husband discourages this "hobby"  For some reason, I also enjoy going to Borders bookstore to window shop. I rarely buy anything, but it is fun to look at all the books!!!
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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CrunchyMom
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Angie Mc wrote:
[QUOTE=CrunchyMom] *Moderator Note*
In the past, when discussion about the same topic is going on at other online volunteer services (such as yahoogroups or blogs) there can be a blurring of back and forth that gets confusing. In general, members here speak for themselves and link to helpful resources, but we refrain from assuming that others are reading the other sources. We base our discussion on "those in the room." |
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Did what I posted fall in that category? I thought I made my comments relevant to the previous posts (not regarding Amy's blog or comments specifically). I just referenced posting on her blog because she referenced it above and it was in responding to her that I thought about my response here. I didn't meant to be confusing. Please let me know what to do differently in the future.
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
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| Posted: Dec 11 2007 at 7:03pm | IP Logged
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amyable wrote:
I'm sorry, I wouldn't have taken things off to my blog if I knew the conversation would stay in the same vein here.
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CrunchyMom wrote:
Angie Mc wrote:
*Moderator Note*
In the past, when discussion about the same topic is going on at other online volunteer services (such as yahoogroups or blogs) there can be a blurring of back and forth that gets confusing. In general, members here speak for themselves and link to helpful resources, but we refrain from assuming that others are reading the other sources. We base our discussion on "those in the room." |
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Did what I posted fall in that category? |
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Amy and Lindsay, we all are doing really well here. The note is meant as clarification, especially for those who are new to the board and wonder how the board and blogs interact. You both set a fine example of sharing a resource (Amy's blog) while contributing clearly here. Thanks for giving me a chance to clarify my clarification .
Nina Murphy wrote:
In other words, you MUST love yourself, your soul, enough to be vigilant about what state your soul is in and where you are going....it is not selfish to be keeping our selves (that is our eternal souls) in mind and at the forefront. And of course, our bodies are the houses for our souls, so there is a symbiotic relationship, but I won't go off on that!
We only ultimately have control over our own souls and where they are going and our own relationship to God. We have more of an effect on others ultimately by awareness of that basic humble truth. |
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Vigilant and humble...yes, that's very helpful. Thanks, Nina.
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Angie Mc
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Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
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Posts: 11400
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| Posted: Dec 11 2007 at 7:56pm | IP Logged
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SeventhHeaven wrote:
Angie,
I REALLY enjoyed your analogy of the marathon runner. For some reason, seeing my vocation in that comparison made me see some of the mistakes I am making more clearly. |
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Is this where I confess to being a total sprinter personality type? I naturally identify with sprinting/crashing/burning way more than I do with running marathons  . Maybe that's why I so appreciate quick Mother Nurture like Amy describes...
amyable wrote:
| As far as how "mother culture" plays out in my day to day life, it's mostly me stealing a moment or two to read, blog, visit here, etc. ...I keep a laptop on the couch next to me ) |
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(Amy, you are giving me more fuel for my fire to go to a laptop  )
amyable wrote:
Listening to audiobooks with the kids always makes me feel better too.
Even though I crave quiet and alone time, it seems I am especially lifted up when I find something that I like that we can all do together. (quietly ) |
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Me, too. I also really enjoy reading picture books. Short and sweet...and sometimes quiet .
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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hereinantwerp
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Joined: Dec 17 2005
Location: Washington
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| Posted: Dec 11 2007 at 9:08pm | IP Logged
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I really think a large part of our problem is our crazy modern culture, and the expectations we have because of it. It's the water we swim in but sometimes we have to separate somehow, and think about it.
An eg. might be cooking. It occurred to me once while reading Little House on the Praire that Ma Ingalls pretty much served the same thing EVERY night--cornmeal mush and salt pork. An amount of work, but it wouldn't require much mental engagement! Something extra on a holiday, but not 14 different kinds of homebaked goodies spread out in an impressive array, IYKWIM! But we are faced with glossy magazines and tv cooking celebrities and etc. and somehow we take in this expectation that there ought be a different, creative, "wow the family" dinner every night. It's just one (exaggerated) example.
Re. the monastary example, to live "contemplatively", to do things on purpose, vs. being pulled along by culture--that takes time. For our souls to grow, for us to take time to listen to God and be directed by the Spirit in our daily life--that doesn't just "happen", we have to take time out to pursue it. I am not sure about separating prayer & the spiritual life, and "mother culture" as different things. To me they are not really different, the need as a mother/person is being "emptied of self" and "refreshed in Christ" so I am able to give. If I don't have time to read my much loved novels or for arts and crafts (which refresh and relax me) I'll make it, but if I take no time for connecting with the Lord (prayer, Bible) and some silence, I SINK!! But then sometimes in the spirit I will sense that it is time to do something light, I am taking things too seriously, being too intense (easy for me!), but the Spirit (or sometimes a close friend!) shows this to me. I think without Him we can be looking for something elusive (refreshment, rest) without the compass.
I find it hard because it gets mixed up with the world's message of "you deserve it", "indulge yourself", "Create your best life," a bit Oprah-ish and just not the same as Christ's message! And yet rest and refreshment ARE part of the mix. God himself designed them--things like laughter, appreciating beauty, creativity, good friendships, good food--we are impovershed if we shut ourselves off from these by being too driven about work!
But I do think our culture IS crazy. THere is just this pressure to "produce, produce, produce" (or you are not worth anything?), and Mothering at the Core is all about relationships--it doesn't fit into that grid! Even in Europe, where we lived, they had more balance--friendships were important and were given time, things like the 2-3 week family vacation in July/August were sacrosanct, Sunday afternoons with family were sacrosanct and the parks were crowded with people strolling, fathers playing with children, etc. Even the schools (very rigorous) had more week long breaks through the year, and let out at noon on Wednesdays, and parents' jobs were often flexible with this too. I have to say I liked it better in there in some ways!
I wonder what Ma Ingalls or any of our other icons from the past would think of the idea of "Mother Culture"? In our present time, I think something like it is necessary, however!
__________________
Angela Nelson
Mother to Simon (13), Calvin (9), and Lyddie Rose (3)
my blog: live and learn
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Mother Culture?
