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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Nov 19 2007 at 11:29am | IP Logged
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What do they do?
Mine is lost.
He will play some imagination games with his 5 year old sister but the rest of the time he seems kind of lost. He is not interested in reading as much, could spend hours on the computer, does participate in church choir, the Christmas play at church, and a dance class. His Dad gave him his old cell phone as there are some games on it he enjoys--but I took it away--he was glued to it for hours.
I try to play catch with him and things outside because he isn't into the swing set as much. Other than that he just wanders around the yard, plays with the dog and cat some, but seems....lost.
I am also wondering what to get him for Christmas. I am thinking of a Leapster. I am not ready for the Game Boy yet. He does want a copy of The Penderwicks--loves that book. He does love Legos too.
We have few playmates and I try to give them each some playtime with Mom--but I do get tired and have some other responsibilities I am falling behind on....
Any ideas, is it preteen stuff?
Thanks,
Anne
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Nov 19 2007 at 11:37am | IP Logged
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Does he have any "man" work that he's doing? My 9 year old will chop wood for fun. There's something about working your muscles hard that is appealing to boys.. as well as having "man" jobs.
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Nov 19 2007 at 11:46am | IP Logged
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Jodie is so right about the man stuff. I suggest things like a tool set, carpentry kits (or just a stack of various size lumber,hammer, nails, sandpaper, etc,) models to build, pocket knife, BB gun and some targets, sling shot, fishing pole and tackle box, a pup tent and a hammock or sleeping bag. Then hand him the Dangerous Book for Boys and let him go!
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Theresa
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Lisbet
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I totally agree with all of the above. 10 was when dh and I began giving our son real work jobs around the house, such as hanging shelves, putting together bookcases, using tools like Theresa mentioned. Physical things. You said he likes the computer, my sons does too, we bought him a microcontroller for Christmas last year and he's made all kinds of interesting things with it!
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Natalia
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Are you sure he is lost? My 10 yo boy is a great thinker. A lot of the times when he seems to be just wandering around he is actually in deep thought. Because he likes to think and observe things he does have what I call a "couch potato tendency". That is why I limit his computer time and his TV time and try to encourage physical activity instead.
He has been swimming in a year round swim team for four years now.He likes the exercise even though he doesn't like the competition part of it. This year he is ready to try something else. That is OK with us so he is going to try basketball. The thing is to get him involve in something that requires physical activity.
Does your son like music? Does he play an instrument? Would he be interested in learning to play one? what about sketching or drawing? My son spends a lot of time drawing buildings and designing houses. You say he doesn't like to read much but, what about non fiction books? My son likes non fiction more than he likes stories> Some of the things he has enjoy reading about are" building, bridges, wars, airplanes, ships,biographies of inventors, etc.
My son also likes building sets like Erector. Also, I sometimes strew logic type games like Rush Hour, Tangrams,etc. They can be played by alone and are a great alternative to computers and other "screens".
Hope this helps some,
Natalia
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wifemommy
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I second or third  the Dangerous Book for Boys. It has some great ideas and history stories in it. Tool sets and the wood to let him create would be great. Have you ever been to a kids project day at Home Depot? It's one Saturday morning a month They have great projects and it's free. Plus you can take both kids...just wear old clothes ...lots of paint  Annie
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marianne
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I agree with all of the above. My ds10 is also into his coin collection. He likes to read about coins and spread them out and analyze them in all kinds of ways. I don't get the fascination, but I'm not a 10yo boy!
He's also a cub scout, about to go into boy scouts, and the whole outdoor, camping thing has gotten him really inspired and he loves to look through hunting catalogs (never been hunting or anything though) and that sort of thing.
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LLMom
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| Posted: Nov 20 2007 at 11:41am | IP Logged
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This is an awesome book with lots of ideas for whittling.
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For veteran & former homeschool moms
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BrendaPeter
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I don't mean to start anything controversial and apologize that I'm going off-topic but I would strongly advice against boys spending too much time doing passive activities, such as the computer, Game Boys, etc. Just today, I spoke with a very holy priest & asked his advice on what to purchase our sons (8, 12 & 13) for Christmas as they would love anything electronic - video games, Game Boy, etc. He recommended things like a bow & arrow, fishing pole, etc. along with instruction from and time with dad. This priest went on to say that pre-teen boys need ALOT of physical activity to keep their minds focused and maintain their purity. Now my dh & I are considering putting in a woodstove simply so that our boys can keep active chopping wood & dh ran out today to buy wrestling mats for the basement!
Also consider getting chickens, rabbits or some other pet if that's a possibility.
HTH!
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lapazfarm
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I agree completely, Brenda. And though this is particularly relevant and important for boys, I would also add that girls also need to be kept busy. Baking, sewing, crafting, whatever. You know what they say about idle hands...
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Theresa
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lapazfarm
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Oh, and if anyone has any great gift ideas for a 12 yo boy who already got all of this stuff when he was 10, I am all ears!
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Theresa
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MarilynW
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Circuit sets, robotics - are a hit with my boys.
Carpentry stuff - we are getting them Carpentry for Kids - and they will be doing projects with their dad - eg the first thing is to build their own tool bench
Basketball hoop - my kids will spend hours shooting baskets
Does he like sports - my boys have subscriptions to sports magazines, love the huge Superbowl and world series books, collect cards etc
We are steering away from all computer games - no nintendos or gameboys or any of those. Computer time is restricted.
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CAgirl4God
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I have an 11 yr old ds.
he loves to ride his bike skppter skateboard. and will spend lots of time learning and prefecting tricks.
he has a small pocket knife and whittles and carves.
he loves to catch anything that moves... from lizzards to bugs they even caught a bird that other day. sometimes they put it in the aquarium box, and check it out, or just let them go.
the climb trees, play hide and seek games, run!!!!
my ds is also a thinker...
he love to create things. out of anything. Legos, recycled things, wood, cardboard, etc...
we just bought the DBFB, and now I need to round up supplies so he can start making things!
his first thing to do is make a trip wire lol, that way he will know when someone comes into his room! lol
the only electronics we have... are the computer (which they play things on Lego.com) and a Wii. the only games for Wii are the sports ones, and a CARS driving game. both a pretty active.
I have him in a Karate class (twice a week, then daily practicing) and we swim several times a week.
he is also a Boy Scout.
hope this helps with ideas...
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Veronica's Veil
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I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for your words of wisdom! This has been a good reminder for me in dealing with our Son, turning 11 in January. He has many of the things mentioned but I need to keep my mind focused on how much he NEEDS time to pursue the activities. Thanks 
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JodieLyn
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Theresa - upgrade!
is there a particular thing he most likes? perhaps he's ready for a more advanced option? or something he loved but interest is flagging might be becuase it's gotten "too easy" and he needs something more advanced..
or just accessories can make an "old toy" regain interest..
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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ALmom
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OK, I have 5, 7, 10 and 13 yo boys and here are some of the things they like:
Junk electronic parts - anything that breaks down is smashed to bits and parts are pilfered.
All leftover cans and lids (these become armor).
Snap circuit kit (jumped off some learning on electronics and now they tend to go for real parts).
Model WWII aircraft to build and play with.
Chin up/ pull up bar that hangs from the doorways.
Chemistry books or various science books (even for the child who didn't like to read much else).
Goggles and other safety equipment.
Dad trains them all how to use his woodworking equipment (well not the 5 and 7 yo yet). Dad is required to be at home and present for the power tools but other tools they use.
Scrap wood, and other such junk to use for projects.
Robotics.
Legos and Duplos.
Real tools - the 13 yo has his own toolbox and he does a lot of the repairs around the house - mostly with dad, but sometimes on his own.
Books of experiments and how to do stuff.
Real pocket knives (the 2 older boys).
Gardening supplies and seed catelogues.
Rockets
Bicycles, helmets, and a steep driveway - can you guess what they do?
Woods, trees and plenty of natural things to explore.
Lots of field guides, binoculars, a stick in a rope to swing on (something akin to the tire swing but much wilder - they try to knock the stick out from under each other as a game).
Birdfeeders, microscope, various things for building habitats and references for making these.
Games like Battleship, stratego, chess, risk.
Building toys - mostly the youngers use these while the olders graduate to real building though they all use lego and duplo and the 10 yo does some occassional stuff with K-nex or dh old erector set.
A partially finished treehouse with scrap lumber and permission to build.
Water guns (great for those hot, hot restless days).
Sports equipment. (We don't have much flat space so the baseball always is lost in the woods. Dh set up various types of obstacle courses/ challenges in the garage - a punching bag, a ladder lying on the ground to run through, a basket ball goal, table tennis table, a balance beam with target for pretend jousting, etc. A lot of what he sets up is designed to take advantage of our boys natural tendency to compete with each other and to develop eye-hand, coordination (we are sneaky).
We have had obstacle course in the living room when we wanted the boys to crawl and creep. - low tunnels with boxes, etc.
Lots of spare paper with plenty of books on paper airplanes and aerodynamics.
Two wooden blocks for doing shuttle run. Stop watches for timing speed - and a notebook to record their best times.
We do not own any real weapons at our house as I am just too leary of someone getting accidently injured over here - too many people milling about - but my dad lives in town and will teach them archery and safety one on one and owns bows sized for them. He will take them hunting if they get a certain proficiency with the bow and attentive to him for safety. (At a certain age, he requires that they take and pass a safety course). We do end up with a bunch of homemade bows, slingshots, grenades, etc.
Oh, one year, the oldest's present was a introductory flying lesson. Dh, and 2nd oldest got to go up in the plane with them, but oldest had training on flight simulators and actually sat with the pilot and had a lesson in the air. (Our son was really interested in learning to be a pilot - lessons combined with flight time to actually get a license are very expensive - But the Introductory lesson was not bad. Our son also learned realistically what it would take to get a private pilots license and at what age they recommend starting so that you get your license at the age it is allowed and don't end up having to redo lessons later).
CD games that recreate WWII battles. (I do second and third limited computer time. I'm not sure why but my boys seem more inclined to become addicted to it whereas the girls would be more self-limiting or downright uninterested. We actually returned a self contained game system that we won at a company picnic as we did not want that kind of access/temptation. At our house, the computer, like the TV, is strictly by permission only and limited in duration. By long habit none of mine will turn on either without explicit permission and we use a timer when permission is granted).
Hope some of these ideas help.
The older the boys get, the more the thing has to be real to be enticing. Real wires, motors, etc., a real job involving physical effort and scientific/mental effort combined seem to be best.
Hope there are some useful ideas in here. Be prepared to be laid back with the things the boys will come up with - it is never really dull or without some sort of adventure around here, many of which probably scare most folks half to death.
Janet
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juststartn
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| Posted: Nov 28 2007 at 10:51pm | IP Logged
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This is such a great thread! Admittedly, I have years before my boys are old enough....but I'm already finding that this "basic" idea is important with regards to my 7 yr old dd..(the oldest)...
I think I'm going to end up printing this off...
Rachel
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hereinantwerp
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| Posted: Nov 29 2007 at 1:43am | IP Logged
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Re. computer games, etc. . . .
I just wanted to say we have had SO many problems with these with our oldest son. We have never bought a "game system" so for us it has just been computer, but any little free "video game gadget" from a happy meal or etc. will fascinate him just as well. For years we have struggled with this stuff--taken them away for a week or a month or even 6 months once--banned the activity from our home and only allowed him to sign up for 1/2 hour at the library--etc. Recently because of deceptiveness/lying on his part (a pattern he has always drifted into eventually regarding computer games), we had to take them away--forever, for good, permanently (or, in his words, until he moves out of the house and can do as he likes! our reply is that by that time we hope he has formed better judgment in the use of his time, and faced the fact that he shows every sign of being truly addicted to these THINGS!). It was my gut feeling for years that this is where it would end up, but because he loved them so much, my sympathetic mother heart just kept trying to make it work.
So far he is showing fairly good humor about it, but--he can't be trusted. Which is really very sad. I am grieving over this tonight. I'm just praying that as a pattern of lying seems to have formed, he will get caught EVERY time.
I just thought if your son could be that fascinated by the simple games on a cell phone, he may very well be wired similar to my son  . So, I'm sharing my sorry experience. I wish I'd never let the things into my house!!
I hate the things and feel a personal vendetta about them  ! I almost wonder if it is ploy by the Enemy of our souls to draw all the strength and vitality of our young men away from engagement in the "battle" of life, completely drawn into a world of worthless entertainment. Of course "real life" can never compete with the excitement of a video game. And in general it can be hard because when boys this age get together, what do they talk about? So often it is about xbox or Wii or whatever, so our son feels "deprived" because he doesn't have one. For boys these days it is a primary way they connect. And I hate that so often when we go to friends' homes from church, what do the boys do? They don't play or relate to each other, they go up and spend the whole time on a game system! I also hate that at all the libraries near me the computers are front and central. And where are ALL the boys??? Huddled in a little group around the computer, watching if they can't play. GRRRRRRRR.
Sorry---Rant over . I've known a few boys who could "take 'em or leave 'em", just play and enjoy it but not be addicted or drawn in. That seems like it could be pretty harmless. But my oldest is obviously on the opposite end of the spectrum. It occurs to me this addiction is something for dh and I to fight in PRAYER over for his heart, too!! The last thing I have wanted to do is to plant a seed of rebellion in him by our intervention---I feel pretty afraid of this.
PS, I also think I know what you mean by "lost". I have felt this for my son for a few years. He just didn't seem to have an interest or a passion--(other than the oft-forbidden games)--and I've tried very hard to facilitate him trying activities to find one. He has even told me a few times in tears, "but if I can't play my games, what will I DO? THere's just so many hours to fill. That's the only thing I'm interested in." He does like to read, and write, and he has worked countless hours on designing his own board and computer game, with over 100 pages of handwritten "qwests" and homemade cards of characters, weapons, you name it (it's quite amazing, really). Then this year he became involved in kempo karate for Christ and was really getting excited about it, and even said, "Mom, I think I've found my "thing""! And then the instructor did a major flake out and up and decided to quit  . I was sooooo disappointed! We live in a tiny town and just finding another place is not an option. I keep hoping scouts will be work out but it isn't looking overly promising. He is interested in computer programming if I could find someone to teach it to him (dh and I are majorly technically challenged--also I don't want him messing with our main family computer). ???? I think it takes much faith for the journey, trying to trust how these things will turn out--!!!
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Kristie 4
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Where do you buy the circuit sets and robotics? (coming from someone who doesn't like to shop ) Can you order kits online?
I have a 12yos who is NOT interested in carpentry at all (that would be my 10yod ), but loves lego etc. and I think the robotics would be up his alley.
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florasita
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Our boys loved taking apart old computers / radios , nintendos/ bikes etc.
It was my dear friend & midwife who also has many boys who told me they eventually learn how to put it all back together they do ! our boys are just like dad now can work on electronics cars carpentry . It saves us big time on repair bills
Woodburning is lots of fun . We buy cheap wooden boxes crosses etc. at the dollar store they then give as gifts .
Skateboarding , biking all boys loved this at that age . They even made a ramp with thier dad . roler blades were a hit too .
Personally we like the computer and some video games it has really heled the boys in thier reading skills and solving problems etc.
Now they are doing videos with thier friends .
I think computer / game boxes etc. are like anything we need rules / discipline , obedience etc.
The number one rule it is used for good not evil thats it if you have that first rule down then your pretty much on track .
our ds who is so into bugs went into raising crickets , learning how to preserve his bugs , making scenes of deserts etc.
our boys love magnetix right now but a warning keep them away from electronic devices we now need a new alarm clock 
for activity the Y is great they have rock climbing , basketball , soccer even a jungle gym for little ones
As far as whittling goes I do not let our kids do this . I injured my finger very badly at exactly age 10 yo while trying to whittle .I had wanted to try it as there was an elderly man I'd go visit and sit and watch him whittle . I thought I could do it myself . Nope. Our boys don't get thier own knife until age 14 . do they use other knives yes but maturity wise being city kids they just cannot handle a knife until older age . When out at the lake etc. they may ask to use a knife but it is always returned right after its use .
One activity all our boys even girls enjoy is cooking , meal prep . Our kids start off at the stove , kitchen heling at very early age . They love it . By the time they are 10 they can cook themselves most anything . Take out cultural recipe books from the library and pick a meal . We had our boys cook us 5 course meals . Yes it takes all afternoon and is very messy but hey it does keep them busy and un-bored .
My dh is making a ice rink again and I think we will try curling this year . Should be fun .Hockey sticks and tennis balls are cheap and hrs of fun in the back alley
We are making moccassins too and I'll post on our blog the pics of the making and assembly ;-)
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: 10 year old boys
