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fsuadamson
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I personally prefer the Bradley Method. Learned from the book alone and used with my last three natural childbirths. With the first three births all I knew was Lamaze then after discovering the Bradley Method from a mom that had just had her sixth child (while I was having my fourth) I realized how wrong Lamaze was for me!
I really like for my husband to know what stages I am in and to know how to really be there for me in the transition stage, with just the right words of encouragement, positioning etc. For me just that brief stage (usually 10 minutes or less) can really make the whole labor experience great or absolutely terrible.
Now with that being said I must admit that as I have had more natural births not only have the after birth cramps gotten worse but the actual labor pains have been getting more intense even through the pushing stage (which is when the pain *use to* stop). I would recommend really practicing the relaxation techniques early in your pregnancy. I have had to work a lot harder at relaxing than in my earlier births.
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Leslie
dh Dave; dd19; dd17; ds14; dd12; ds9; dd7
Knotty Pines Academy
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JodieLyn
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more calcium!! seriously.. calcium helps the muscles contract smoothly.. less painfully.. I'm pregnant with #8 and my later ones were no worse than the earlier ones.. either contractions or after pains... IF I take my calcium.. and the arnica for bleeding.. and the pineapple for general bruising and soft tissue injury (speeds healing, reduces swelling.. and that pineapple juice tastes heavenly after labor.. not to mention my midwife's homemade potatoe soup  )
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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almamater
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The ladies here have made to very important points about the Bradley method. One is that is absolutely necessary for the husband to be active in learning the method (learning the techniques and really understanding and being able to identify the stages, knowing a variety of responses to different situations, etc).
Secondly, the only way to really successfully use the Bradley method is to start practicing a variety of relaxation techniques asap. The massage and soothing encouragement technique is lovely during pregnancy, but many women find that there is a time during labor when the DO NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED. Poor hubby needs some other effective techniques to call on and mom needs to be able to respond to more than just one relaxation technique. Rainbow technique, guided imagery, visualization, etc.
Also, the Bradley method emphasizes the THREE types of relaxation: physical (releasing phyisical tension), mental (what is she thinking about---worrying about the next internal exam, fretting about the other children or just focusing on the process in some way) and emotional (how does she feel about what is going on? is she upset about something the nurse is saying/doing? etc) Husbands need to be aware of all three of these locations of stress and have ways to help his wife let go in all of these.
I cannot emphasize enough, though, that practicing relaxation 10 minutes alone each day plus 10 to 20 minutes with your dh is the key to being able to achieve relaxation during labor. To be totally honest, though, my dh is not really comfortable with this whole business. So, I learned after my first that I was really going to have to concentrate on solo relaxation practice. I practice frequently throughout my pregnancies and especially take time to visualize the parts that are most challenging for me.
More later. It is late and the Littles are getting hungry.
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mary theresa
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I didn't read everyone's posts too closely, so sorry if I repeat things.
My daughter was born naturally. We took the Bradley classes and tried to practice relaxing -- it's alot harder than I thought. I ended up doing the Lamaze panting/blowing at one point because it helped me. Someone said earlier that to need distraction from the contraction or to focus on the contraction seems to be different for every one, or even depending on the stage for you. Lamaze is more distraction, I gather, but that's what helped at transition for me.
What I mainly got out of the Bradley approach -- that also fit alot with my views already -- was the encouragement and promotion of the woman and her body, the baby and the father. Birth is about these people, not about the doctor. It is a normal and natural thing.
I gained alot of trust in my body -- that God made it strong and healthy and made it to know what to do. Labor is normal, not a medical procedure and I am not a "patient," I am a woman birthing her baby. (please know -- of course I am talking about a non-complicated situation!)
It taught me to be patient with my body, that speeding up labor, that artbitrary time limits imposed by doctors on labor is not natural nor usually needed. The baby also can handle labor (in the normal situation) -- it was MADE to co-operate, to cope, to be just fine. Monitoring the woman and the baby constantly looking for signs of problems sends a sublimal message of pessimism and distrust for the natural order of God's plan.
This is all just my thoughts.  I don't know if I'm making sense. This understanding, trusting in myself and my baby, and in God's wisdom, helped me KNOW that I could do a natural birth. And that a natural brith is "better" in my mind.
That being said, I have heard a older OB (who does home births) and an older midwife (who used to do home births, but won't now) say that women today are so much more likely to be compromised in this endeavor for natural birth. Over the years they both say they see more and more women with health problems or complications because the overall health of people in general is decreasing.
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Mary Theresa
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LisaR
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I have absolutely horrible pregnancies, very high risk, high stress, and lots of medical interventions. However, I have been able to "glean" quite a bit from the Bradley method book, for nice births!! We never could afford the classes so I bought the book after ds #1, who was 9lb 2 oz and I was begging for an epesiotomy- which I got- and hated! I had no meds, but was determined NOT to push on my back, etc. ever again!!
I have had two inductions (2 weeks late and medical issues with placenta) and have even been able to use Bradley with those, with no meds.
I really like the imagery with Bradley- like the turtleneck observation. Also, the concept that Birth is WORK (LABOR) and NOT HURT. That our body is working as it should, and that I am not in pain, because pain is when we are sick, or being injured or harmed. Birth is none of those.
I have all the lights out in the room. dh is the gatekeeper and does not allow anyone in unless absolutely necessary. we nicely ask them to whisper. I do not have eye contact with anyone but dh.
I've delievered on hands and knees with three- my FAVORITE way- the babies literally just kind of drop out- I kid you not!! I prop myself up on lots of pillows with my forearms- they wheel a big mirror over to my head so I can watch better but honestly I keep my eyes closed except to look at dh- and the lights are still out except the hot light spot light on the birth area itself.....and I've had one on my side.
I also eat throughout my labor-nibbles of beef jerkey, energy bars, gatorade, and have never once even had an inkling of needing to vomit. My nurse midwives have always been fine with that- and the portable telemetry unit- so even with the inductions- I walked all over the place to get labor going more quickly.
Lastly, I bought a birth ball (like a yoga ball) and sat on it at home every single day the last 4 weeks or so before Maria's birth. at the computer, etc..then I requested the birth ball at the hospital and I had the coolest sensation of literally feeling the baby gently bounce right on down the birth canal- it was so soothing- I leaned up against the hosp bed while on it. BUT I never could stand the birth ball before- I really think it was because I had used one at home for days and was "comfortable" with it.
Praying for you! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!
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Lisa
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MarilynW
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Hi Molly - a different point of view from me. My last 2 births were epidural - and they were so enjoyable with the sweetest and most peaceful babies. (I struggle with unmedicated births because I am so little and my babies have big heads!!) Once I had the epidural it actually relaxed me so that I dilated quickly. We had a really peaceful labor and delivery. I too was concerned about the effects of drugs on the baby - but they were both alert and unfussy and nursed well from the beginning.
My only caveat with an epidural is that they can sometimes give too much so you cannot feel to push.
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mom3aut1not
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Molly,
I used Bradley with all four. I took the full class with the first and had refreshers of various lengths for the others (the last two was just one class each). I highly recommend Bradley. I just wish that Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way had been around when I had my first -- knowing the emotional stages of labor would have saved me money and reduced my stress.
I think the Bradley method just makes a lot of sense.
Have to run....
In Christ,
Deborah
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SallyT
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Hi Molly --
I really second the doula suggestion. She would not be there to take your husband's place as your primary support, but, as someone else said, to run interference so that he can concentrate on you.
We had a doula with our second of four, and she was wonderful. Our first was born by emergency C-section, and I really wanted a VBAC the second time. The doula was wonderful not only in giving extra support during a very long and painful pitocin-induced labor (with no drugs -- part of the VBAC deal for me), but also in getting the medical staff to agree to my being able to walk off the monitor for short periods, and to back off and wait when they began to get antsy when the baby took his sweet time coming out.
I really like birthing balls -- the doula had one when I had my second, and the one we bought in England for our third is still bouncing around the back yard. I found that sitting that way helped a lot. Our doula also had lots of lovely aromatherapy comfort aids, chiefly one of those rice-filled bags (hers was two socks sewn together) that you can warm in the microwave. She put drops of oils of lavender and rose geranium on it, and the scent was very soothing, as was the heat. We got a lavender-buckwheat bag in a shop for our third baby's birth, and again, it was wonderfully comforting. I have always had lots of back labor, and the heat was especially nice for that.
We had our third baby in England, with a midwife but in the hospital. That was a really lovely birth: very quiet, lights low, nobody there but us and the midwife. They had a big rubber pad you could kneel on on the floor, and that's where he was born.
Our fourth, by contrast, was born in the big city hospital here which handles a huge volumes of indigent patients (of whom I was more or less one at the time), and it was a bit of a shock. In England, as a 2nd-time VBAC mother, I had been considered low-risk -- I'd had to have my water broken, because I do not ever seem to go into labor on my own, but after an hour, they took me off the monitor, and I could do what I pleased. Back in the US, suddenly I could barely find a doctor who would even consider doing a VBAC and ended up with the high-risk department at the med school, so got treated like very unstable plutonium. They wouldn't even let me get up off the birthing bed to use the bathroom. I was very compliant until the end, but when they wanted me to lie down to push, I just refused. They kept telling me I was going to push the baby into the bed, and I said, "No, I won't," and didn't, within about a push and a half. I'm not normally a difficult person, but I had had it, and I wasn't going to let them tell me how to push out a baby!
But if you're not comfortable just being a refusenik, a doula really can help keep a circle of quiet around you and your husband, so that you can focus on laboring, and he can focus on you.
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vmalott
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Jodie may have alluded to this with her anecdote of showing up at the hospital, nurses not thinking she was in labor, and then their surprise that she was nearly complete.
What I mean is, and I think this was the biggest thing I took away from my Bradley reading: LABOR AT HOME AS LONG AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN.
The reason for this is that you are in your own environment, which means it should be a little easier for you to achieve that relaxation that is so important for the uterus to work efficiently. That might mean finding someone to take the kids AWAY (if it's daytime), if that is a concern for you. Also, at home you aren't going to be subjected to constant monitoring, probing, pokes, and all the other "necessary" distractions that are part of laboring and giving birth in the hospital. Have your husband read up on the section about the emotional signs that accompany the different stages of labor. That way, he will be able to help determine when it may be a good time to get going to the hospital.
If a big baby is a concern, read up on natural ways to help ripen the cervix and prepare for a gentler, more natural way to get labor under way. These natural methods are not a guarantee, but they do help in many cases and are much less invasive than stripping membranes, rupture of membranes, and pitocin.
Have you had back labor with any of your children? Make sure to learn about the different comfort measures as well as ways to encourage baby to turn to an anterior position (LOTS of pelvic rocking is usually indicated for this).
Lastly, though, I would say not to cling to a certain ideal experience, because each birth is as unique as the individual coming into the world. And really, the ultimate goal is to get the baby here safely. (This is my most recent hurdle and has given me great peace of mind this time around).
Valerie (former natural childbirth educator and former DONA certified doula)
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Valerie
Mom to Julia ('94), John ('96), Lizzy ('98), Connor ('01), Drew ('02), Cate ('04), Aidan ('08) and three saints in heaven
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Bookswithtea
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SallyT wrote:
Hi Molly --
We had our third baby in England, with a midwife but in the hospital. That was a really lovely birth: very quiet, lights low, nobody there but us and the midwife. They had a big rubber pad you could kneel on on the floor, and that's where he was born.
.... Back in the US, suddenly I could barely find a doctor who would even consider doing a VBAC and ended up with the high-risk department at the med school, so got treated like very unstable plutonium. They wouldn't even let me get up off the birthing bed to use the bathroom. I was very compliant until the end, but when they wanted me to lie down to push, I just refused. They kept telling me I was going to push the baby into the bed, and I said, "No, I won't," and didn't, within about a push and a half. I'm not normally a difficult person, but I had had it, and I wasn't going to let them tell me how to push out a baby!
But if you're not comfortable just being a refusenik, a doula really can help keep a circle of quiet around you and your husband, so that you can focus on laboring, and he can focus on you. |
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 Couldn't you just SCREAM??? It makes me so mad that in England (I have English relatives/my mom is British) these things are just so routine and here its sooooooooooooo not? I would have refused to push their way, too. That is one of my pet peeves...having some L and D nurse screaming to 10 in my ear while doctors yell "push push push push" like I'm some kind of moron or something.
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mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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teachingmyown
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Well, all this talk about choosing where to give birth and picking a care giver just got more complicated for me.
I went in for my routine OB check and mentioned to my midwife that I thought that I was suffering from depression as I talked about in this thread. I asked her about natural remedies such as 5-HTP and St John's Wort and she said she couldn't recommend alternative treatments because of lack of research.
So she prescribed Zoloft assuring me that it is safe for the baby. When I got home I noticed a warning on the medication that it is dangerous to use in the 3rd trimester!!! I am so upset and my dh is very angry. I did some more research and found out that the effects on the baby can be awful, including withdrawal from the drug after he is born!
I now feel like I need to find another provider. I don't think there is a home birth midwife covered in my area. There is another OB practice that has a number of midwives that, from what I could tell on their website, are more into holistic/ natural healthcare than the CNM I am seeing now. The problem with this group is the doctors are very pro-abortion.
Pray for me please as we try to make some big decisions in the next couple of weeks.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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teachingmyown
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By the way, on a more positive note, THANKS for all the great input about Bradley and laboring techniques, etc. Thanks especially to Valerie and Jennifer for your "expert" advice. I would love to be a childbirth educator when I grow up!
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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LisaR
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Molly, praying very hard for you! finding the right, not to mention, moral, healthcare provider is very difficult  Hoping that God will make things more clear for you. and I would follow your gut about not taking the Zoloft in the 3rd trimester..
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Mary Chris
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Molly,
Here is the midwives we used for our two homebirths, Birthcare. I am not exactly sure where you are located, but they go as far as Fredricksburg.
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mom to MacKenzie3/95, Carter 12/97 Ronan 3/00 and wife to Jim since 1/92
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happymama
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Just wanted to say that I enjoyed reading this thread, as I tried 3 times to have a "natural" birth, and 3 times was completely miserable and ended up with epidurals. I was a long-distance runner in college, used to dealing with pain for hours at a time, but labor for me (with pitocin) was a type of pain I couldn't deal with.
with #2 we had a great midwife but once the epidural took effect, things went from horrible to wonderful. Hubby got to take a short snooze through transition, and I just laid there, smiling, and then I watched the birth with a large mirror. So, dh & I have joked about needing to burn the Bradley book. It seemed to lift up SO many high expectations (Hey, pushing can even feel like an orgasm... that's what the book says!) And if it works for you, that's awesome, but I'm done feeling guilty for having difficult births. (I wouldn't have lived through my first one if we hadn't been at a hospital.)
We couldn't do the Bradley classes, btw, just read the book several times, dh took notes and we practiced a few times.
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Angie Mc
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Molly, I am praying for peace and direction. I posted two articles related to women and depression here that I hope you find helpful and hopeful. I would agree that you at least need a second opinion regarding Zoloft and other options for depression.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Lisbet
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Molly,
How tough it must be to have to make these decisions this late in the game. I will be praying for you.
I have had 8 unmedicated homebirths now, my first was a typical ob/hospital/epi. birth. I have read up on many ncb methods over the years, and I have used NONE!  Each labor has been so unique for me, I just go with the flow of what I am feeling at the time. A few constants have been that I do NOT want to be touched, I DO not like chatter going on around me, and I DO NOT like light! Aside from that I really feel that freedom of movement, position, breathing, vocalizing, etc... and truely feeling FREE to do that is what has got me through some doozey of labors.
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Molly, 6
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Bookswithtea
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Molly, I was in a panic at 32 weeks, and did one of those crazy last trimester changes. I am soooooooooo glad I did! Even though the OB was a nice Catholic man and the hospital is well respected, the opportunity to work with a CNM was so much more important to me and the hospital we switched to is much more natural childbirth friendly. I felt like an idiot calling in to transfer paperwork, but it was worth it. My stress level has declined significantly.
Praying it all goes smoothly for you...
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~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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mrsgranola
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Molly, I won't go through my long birthing history again but I did want to share that I have been on a low dose of Zoloft for several years now, through several pregnancies (3). Remember that pretty much all medicines have liability-related warnings, as well as other valid reasons. [i.e. you'd be hard pressed to find much of anything that didn't have a warning against breastfeeding while taking it.]
I do not take your concerns lightly. I've been there and done that. But each time I tried to come off it, it proved to be what I needed to function after all. I have a strong family history of depression and other disorders in one side of my family and I really try to balance out my usual crunchy-granola ways with my need for a chemical anti-depressant. I revisit the issue regularly.
Ultimately, if your body needs something to bring it into balance, you should consider all the options, including meds. Do everything physically possible like exercise, good nutrition, good sleep, etc. but don't feel like a failure if you need to take meds for a season of life. A diabetic takes insulin to balance what the body needs and chemical depression should be viewed as the same, IMHO.
More than you wanted to know, I'm sure, but I did want to speak up for those of us who need meds. 
I also want to put in a strong plug for using a doula... your husband might very well be surprised at how a doula would free him up to be truly present for you!
God bless!
JoAnna
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Barbara C.
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I just want to add, that Lamaze worked really well for me during the first stages of labor. I always felt that Lamaze was kind of like yoga, which has always fascinated me. But all bets have been off when I get to transition. I really want to learn to deal with transition better. I just got all my birth books from the library and plan to go over them, and I'm off to do a little yoga right now. I figure every little bit of preparation helps.
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Barbara
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Natural Childbirth
