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chrisv664
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Joined: Feb 22 2005
Location: New York
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Posts: 324
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| Posted: Jan 24 2008 at 5:07pm | IP Logged
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Well this isn't very romantic at all... but since September when two of our children re-entered school, I've had to get up earlier to make lunches, etc. So I have begun doing something I have avoided for 20 years... ironing his clothes for work! Now it has been no secret that this is my most detested chore (how else could I have avoided doing it for 20 years?). I think the fact that I despise doing this, but have managed to happily do this for him every morning fuels my love for him because it reminds me that sometimes we have to do things we don't like, out of love. Plus, he appreciates my effort all the more.
Making this one small sacrifice for him allows him a few extra minutes of sleep and we get some time alone after the bus picks up the children to pray together, have our coffee and chat for a minute or two.
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Chris
Loving Wife of Dan and Mom to Kate, Jessica, Ben,
Rebecca, Thomas and Hannah
Burning The Candle At Both Ends
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guitarnan
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Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
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Posts: 10883
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| Posted: Jan 24 2008 at 5:12pm | IP Logged
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"You should prepare and light a fire for him..." LOL!!!
I thought that's why I had a son! (And, ds'd be upset if I stole his job.)
One corollary, though; one year we rented a vacation cottage in Ireland (we were living in Europe at the time), and I found a place that had a turf (peat) fireplace...dh loves turf fires...and didn't tell him. He was so surprised when he saw the fireplace!
And, HE got up early every day for the whole week to build a warm fire, and built one at night as well.
So, maybe...surprising dh with something that acknowledges one of his hobbies/favorite things?
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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10 Bright Stars
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Joined: Nov 16 2006
Location: Virginia
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Posts: 728
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| Posted: Jan 24 2008 at 11:15pm | IP Logged
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Something I have started doing because work has taken a stressful turn these days for my husband is to feed the children BEFORE he comes home so things are quiet when he arrives, and he can eat his meal in peace. I am all for a family dinner, with Dad at the table, but sometimes I don't think we realize just how stressful it is for a dad to come home from the adult, working world and be bombarded with lively, LOUD children. Of course he wants to be with them and see them, but I think sometimes we need a staging process for them to decompress. So, when I know he isn't feeling well or if he has had a bad day, I will make dinner early, feed all of us, and then have his plate ready when he comes home and have the smaller kids off watching a movie or something. Then, he can eat in peace, change his clothes and relax for at least a few minutes and have the energy to be the dad he needs to be. My husband noticed that I started doing this for him, and he was SOOOO appreciative. He loves the kids more than anything, but sometimes they were a shock to his system I think! So, during this hectic time, this is what is working for us. And yes, there should BE a dinner. THis has bit me more than once when I have neglected to have dinner on time. A husband comes home, expecting dinner after not eating for most of the day...; I think it really affects them not to have that meal on the table right then and there.
Another thing I agree with is not to use him as a dumping station or sounding board. Being at home and sort of isolated from other folks, I tended to always "vent" to my husband about mundane things or school related things that are probably not "big picture" sort of problems, but just annoying to me etc. If there is a "big picture" problem that is going to have a major impact on family life, then yes, talk to him, but if it is silly stuff like, "The kids keep breaking pencils during school. Isn't that annoying, honey?" then that can probably be left unsaid. My husband has told me often that men are problem solvers, so if we open our mouths, even if we just want to "chat" about things, they are going to automatically think we want them to "fix it". Not only is this annoying, but they probably don't take us as seriously when something really IS bothering us.
Also, trying to have a content spirit. (With the home's decor, boredom etc.) I have trouble with this one sometimes, and get on "kicks" where I want to rip the house apart and redo this or that. Unfortunately, I have no talent to back this up with, so I would always want HIM to do this or that. I finally had to realize that we are finished building the house and to be happy and content with my beautiful home, and to instead redirect my nervous/creative energy elsewhere. (Like raising the family IN the house.  )
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Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Showing love and respect to our husbands
