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ALmom
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| Posted: July 24 2007 at 11:11pm | IP Logged
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Well seems I'm rambling on this one - keep having to go in a hurry. But one thing I was going to say about the co-op is that next year it will be mostly the same wonderful group of mom's who have been so kind and charitable but we have had to decide no to co-op. So, yes, we reassess every single year. Co-op will not work for us next year mostly because of the age and dynamics of one child and the need for the high schooler to be home and the time demands on me to do Montessori (which will help the 4, 6, 10 13 yo) and the LD child who will be in our home. Next year they have a choir and some art and other things - most of these would have made me jump at them for my oldest - but she is in college now, but they are not the burning desire for my boys. My nephew is getting the first chance at really learning and it would do him no good to sit in classes with the olders where that class won't benefit him and inappropriate to put him with the youngers. We decided we all need a break and instead of co-op we are going to commit to morning Mass (2X per week) Our highschooler is doing some catch up on math and science and spending half a day every week is just too much of an interruption and I really don't want to leave her by herself. So assessing everyone's situation, the decision is pretty clear.
It is harder when it isn't cut and dry - like when everyone in the family sacrificed in significant ways for the oldest. Then you try to maintain a certain sense of appreciation for their sacrifices and look for ways for them to find the sweetness in sacrifice. (Not that it always works and we cannot go year after year after year with a situation where everyone is sacrificing so much for one - But there are times when it is essential short term and you somehow know you've made the right choice. Still it is delicate and you stay on top as best you can of all the ever changing circumstances.
The biggest relief to me came when I realized, as someone else said, I cannot do it all. We are committed to homeschooling - BUT that doesn't mean I have to teach every single thing to every single child. We've taken advantage of Kolbe grading services. It took me a while to figure out what it was, what kind of support, I really needed. Well, I like to be able to have someone else critique children's writing and then I'm the supporter, etc. and besides, by high school, I cannot help much anyways because by then my children write better than I do. I am not great at literary analysis so I need something that helps guide the process (Hillside, Kolbe, RC History) have all been real beneficial to me for leading question ideas, summaries of important literary devices, techniques, what Greek tragedy and comedy really are, etc and some paper topic ideas and bullets for points to be considered. I am not a slave to this - but it does help me do a better job discussing with the olders and being clearer in expectations. I also have gotten tutors - and we have decided that this is something we must budget for our highschoolers. We have used tutors in literature (5 girls in a class), Spanish, Latin. If we could find a science tutor that wasn't opposed to homeschooling or a young earth adherent, I'd really jump at that one! We have music teachers and we try to judiciously choose what will truly help lighten my load. Math I'm fine with until past Algebra II. For those who have tendencies for math and science, we really may need to duel enroll for some of the upper level math and science courses. My children have enjoyed having brief classroom type experiences. When we haven't had it available for highschoolers, it has been harder, but we somehow make things work anyways by calling and pestering the Kolbe staff (actually they have been very kind to listen to me talk myself through some agonizing moments) or this board now that I've found it. (Every year someone gets a desperate contact from me about science  ). I have also learned to accept that we are not perfect and at the end of the year, we sometimes need to decide that we were really too ambitious (I'm still trying to do better here - but  ).
Other tradeoffs - the olders learn to concentrate in some noise, realizing that a 4 yo cannot be expected to be quiet - so take your math test early before they get crabby! My oldest said it was great - she learned to practice her instrument with a toddler screeching at her. College practice rooms are silent in comparison .
the youngers have to travel more than my olders did at this age - but they get to see more too. They've been to wonderful, full orchestra concerts, chamber performances, even know how to identify a drunk on college campus  . But while they sometimes have to wait their turn more than their siblings did, they have the talents of their siblings to feed off of in ways I never could provide. My college dd still takes her 4 yo brother into her room for special time - they listen to music, dance to it (I do not dance - heck, I can barely walk without running into a wall and I have to watch my neighbor to figure out how to clap a ryhthm), and she identifies composers and they pick and choose different composers every evening. He also hams it up for her college friends who have shown them Japan on a map (where they live) and get tickled when he opens doors for them or presents them with flowers. He gets to bask in the attention of any of the guys who come to visit her and declares her roommates as some of his best friends.
Sometimes our olders cannot do something they'd like because we need the car, I just cannot take the children out one more time, etc. But they learn quickly that life does not revolve solely around them.
All my children learn to lend a hand with each other - help where they can to answer questions, edit papers, etc. cause mom cannot be always be available instantaneously.
My children have even learned to cook quite well (my 7 yo started making breakfast because he was in a hurry to eat) and we have lots of inside jokes about the pancakes with 1 /2 cup of salt instead of 1/2 tsp or the pink cookies. Even the 4 yo does a rather decent job of making a PBJ. No one in my house has any trouble getting to anything, climbing anything ... They do develop a certain amount of independence.
I guess that if we are careful in noticing any hurt, paying attention to overall balance (each year may have one getting to do more than another or getting more attention due to serious needs but the next year things shift as the crisis is dealt with, etc.) and trying to meet the real needs of the children, they really benefit a great deal from this whole thing and there is a lot of character development taking place.
I think my oldest learned a great deal of gratitude to her siblings for putting up (mostly graciously) with car time and music concerts for her sake. If she seemed to forget, I'd say something about how wonderful her brothers and sisters were for going along and doing such and such even though it wasn't their favorite thing - and say it in front of the other children. My 2nd dd watched how kind this dd was with her younger siblings - admired her for it.
Some of my children have had huge social needs - and a need to be tremendously busy. Some of them can hardly stand time away from home and especially despise unexpected change in routine. We all learn the art of give and take - graciously sacrificing for each other as we try to come up with balances that work in our family. The balance changes every single year as the needs shift, as different children grow or suffer from aspects of homeschooling. Isn't this really what part of family life is all about - we are in this together and we make allowances for one another, love one another, forgive one another, care for one another, are especially solicitous for someone hurting and sacrifice to meet needs for each other. In a large, homeschooling family trying to do this, I think you learn a certain generosity of spirit - and a certain realization that you do have to communicate with one another about your needs - but in kind and thoughtful ways. (I sometimes have to help some of mine ask - others the emotions are on the sleeves and we have to learn to hold our tongue sometimes).
Don't know if this makes any sense but better wrap up. We'll be driving again for fil funeral so I'll be away from the computer for a few days - maybe not a bad thing.
Love this thread - it is so timely.
Janet
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StephanieA
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| Posted: July 28 2007 at 7:22am | IP Logged
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I will be schooling 6 kids again this year, 2 high schoolers on down and a 6 month old.
I tried tutoring on-line, but it didn't motivate said child that it was suppose to motivate. Therefore it ended up being an expensive failure.
So....I am going to figure out how to simplify meals.
I love to cook, but I can't do it all.
So Monday night, dh will bring home rouitouree chicken (yeah, I know I didn't spell THAT right). I'll make a very quick fettucine dish. Tuesday might be pizza night, salmon patty night on Friday, etc. Pizza used to be a occasional fun Saturday night treat, but I need it
during the week.
Paper plates at lunch. I have decided I am needed more as a teacher right now than a cook, and honestly this is going to be more of a sacrifice to ME than for the kids who I think could survive on burritos
Outside activities once centered around the 20 and 18 year olds and competitive swimming, but it ruled the family. So for other reasons as well we stopped it.
The 15 year old will do basketball for a few months on a team and the middle kids are involved with music.
They were on a competitive jump roping team, but again
it began to eat up the family. (Competitions in Texas. We live in MO.)So we bowed out.
I have learned that meals are special - not supper, not breakfast, not lunch. ANY meal that we are together is special. It is unrealistic for us to eat supper together with work and school schedules for the older boys. I would hire a tutor if the money was there or the right tutor.
The older boys dual-enrolled math junior and senior years in high school. I probably won't do this with the 3rd until senior year. We'll see.
Blessings,
Stephanie
mothering ds(20), ds(18), ds(15), dd(12), dd(10), dd(7), dd(4), ds (6months)
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: July 28 2007 at 7:29am | IP Logged
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StephanieA wrote:
| Paper plates at lunch. I have decided I am needed more as a teacher right now than a cook, and honestly this is going to be more of a sacrifice to ME than for the kids who I think could survive on burritos |
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LOL. Sometimes I think I should take stock in canned refried beans for all the burritos that my two oldest make around here!
StephanieA wrote:
| Outside activities once centered around the 20 and 18 year olds and competitive swimming, but it ruled the family. So for other reasons as well we stopped it. |
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I've always tried to avoid activities that are likely to take over our lives, but its becoming harder now that they are older. This is something I still want to make a priority. I'm encouraged to hear that you are doing it too.
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: July 28 2007 at 7:34am | IP Logged
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ALmom wrote:
| Some of my children have had huge social needs - and a need to be tremendously busy. Some of them can hardly stand time away from home and especially despise unexpected change in routine. |
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Us too! This is one of the harder things for me to balance. I keep muddling through it, one year at a time. And like you said, sometimes one child takes a harder hit and the next year, I try to see to it that a different child takes the hit. I guess there really are no easy answers. Rats.
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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StephanieA
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| Posted: July 28 2007 at 2:12pm | IP Logged
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No there are no easy answers. Our homeschooling doesn't even look like what we did 10 years ago. But then again, neither does our family. And I'm not in my 20s or 30s anymore  Did I mention that I like a quick nap now once in a while?
When is the last time we had a tea party? Daily nature walks? Reading aloud twice a day? Gulp!!
I could beat myself up, but THE most important thing I have discovered this past 5 months (of being homebound and sick after Dominic's birth) is to take care of myself. I AM the rudder and if I am sick, bored, tired, unorganized, etc., I can't function and neither can my family. I have to be on top of the game to get people to do what they need to do. I have had to be A LOT more flexible than I would like. I don't like the drill sargent role, which means I have to compromise on the academics, the clean house, my expectations of my kids, etc....and can I add of my husband too
I have found that I have changed too. While at lunch 10 years ago we listened to tapes after tapes. On walks I educated myself with lectures, etc. Now I just want some quiet on my walks. Forget Socrates and the history of the Middle East conflict. I need time to regenerate.
We have to take care of ourselves in order to minister to our kids.
If God has planned "that" activity for that child, then He will make it happen somehow. This became very clear to me when my girls had an opportunity for a violin lesson with a virtuoso from Cape Girardeau. Her mother invited us to do this after church one Sunday since her daughter was home for a few days. God planned that child in that family because her parents only had her (her mother unfortunately miscarried her siblings). Her parents had means to drive her 300 miles every week by the age of 9 for advanced lessons. We didn't get this child, because we couldn't have done that for her. My kids are very average, and lessons here in this small town are just fine for them. I think this is true too with our homeschooling. If Latin was to be a priority for us, then God would have allowed the means to do this. Meanwhile, in my stubborness, I ignored my 2 siblings who could have easily tutored my kids in Spanish. How stupid of me! I didn't take the opportunity
when it was available.
That's how I look at outside activities now. Grab 'em, do 'em ONLY when it works. For several years we had a carpool for swimming and jump roping, so it worked. Then extensive traveling ensued and therefore it didn't work anymore. Basketball worked last year for the 15 year old. We'll see if it works again this year. If not, we'll seek another avenue for him. If God has given your child extraordinary ability to do sports, academics, etc. He will also give you the means to help your child to reach his/her potential. And not necessary just because your child WANTS it, but because truly it is God's will for them. (Heck, I wanted to play every sport under the sun in high school and played 2 in college. But ultimately it wasn't what I was suppose to be doing The problem comes when it really isn't God's will, but our own.
I read a very wonderful post on Starry Sky Ranch about taking every day as it comes. I have it copied on our school closet door as a reminder this year. It's going to be a challenging one
Blessings,
Stephanie
mothering ds(20), ds(18), ds(15), dd(12), dd(10), dd(7), dd(4), ds(6 months)
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StephanieA
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| Posted: July 28 2007 at 3:46pm | IP Logged
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One more thought about providing and surviving with our kids
Just because we work out an academically wonderful curriculum doesn't mean our kids will want to attend an academically challenging school. Or if we provide sports or music lessons will our kids choose this for college even if they are talented.
My kid's violin teacher sent her high school daughter away to a girl's prep school because she felt our local high school would not prepare her daughter academically for where she wanted to go to college. (They aren't from this area.) Her daughter did very well at the school, but has decided for several reasons to move back home and attend college at the local state university in town although she qualified for scholarships to the east coast college that she was trying to prepare herself for.
An older swimmer on my son's swimteam team when he swam in high school had Olympic cuts in college, but chose to quit. His parents were dismayed because he had a lot of talent. However, I look at it this way. Maybe he needed this sport at the time he participated, but not later. His parents provided what they could at the time, but maybe God had other plans for this young man. The young man certainly felt this way. In fact, he influenced my son out of taking the swimming scholarship he was offered, and taking the academic one instead (different schools). I don't feel my son's time was wasted on the swimteam, because I look at things a little bit differently now. "I" don't know what God's plan is for my kids, but He does. I will try to provide what works for my family (with prayer) and leave the rest up to Him. If it stressed me out even though I have tried to make it work, am reasonably organized, etc. or if I see the child isn't interiorly joyful with the academics or sport, then I need to regroup even if they do it well. Maximizing our kid's talents isn't always God's goals. St. Ignatius Loyola was an excellent swordsman, military tactition and leader, but ultimately this wasn't God's will for him. I sometimes think of this when I put too much on my plate or am discerning really what is best for my family or a particular child.
Blessings,
Stephanie
mothering ds(20), ds(18), ds(15), dd(12), dd(10), dd(7), dd(4), ds(6months)
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KackyK
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| Posted: July 28 2007 at 10:58pm | IP Logged
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This is a great thread!
I am in the midst of deciding what to signup for, what to bow out of, etc.
This next school year I'll have a 7th, 5th, 3rd, 2nd & Ker and a 2 1/2 yr old.
I think someone already pointed this out...but it's what drives our decisions about activities away from home, but asking what is our goal in doing this activity is huge. For instance, last year, I was driving a half hour to take my dd (6th grade at the time) to ballet class. She did very well and liked it. (She had been taking dance for several years, but we had recentlly moved and this was a new school for her) But it was hard to go that far...so one day I decided to do some probing. I asked her, is it a lot of fun? (sure she said), do you have any friends you are making? (well, not really, but the other girls are nice, she said), are you getting exercise [my goal for her]? (not really, a lot of barre work, not much jumping), do you see yourself wanting to be a professional ballerina, or some other sort of dancer on stage? (oh no, she said) then I went for it, so would you be sad if we stopped going? (no not really, it's just a fun thing to do). AhHA...it was just a fun thing to do. That's when I said, you know...it wasn't meeting my main goal...exercise...and she has fun other places...so we stopped going. I actually ended up sending her to taekwondo classes with her brother instead. She gets way way more exercise, there is choreography, essentially, and even performances (competitions and belt testing). And...guess what, she has fun doing it...but I'm killing more birds with my one taekwondo stone.
Consolidation is definitely key to me. And getting to the root of what the kiddos want out of their activities, as well as what I want for them too.
As far as carschooling goes...we did a lot of work in a parking lot last year when my two olders took a weekly class each that lasted for 1 hour each, which meant a 2 hour wait for us. I actually ended up liking having that truly distraction free time with my little guys. I have a 15 passenger van, so maybe that helps, because we can spread out. But we would open the windows and doors and could do work in the car. We actually got a lot done. Then we would explore the field around the parking lot. My little bug catcher ds caught all sorts of insects and then we even brought the soccer ball too. These days became their nature days in fact.
I also have used the time we wait for others' activities to hit those neighborhood playgrounds and parks, that really, if we were inside working, I really wouldn't stop to go out for...I'd just send my dc out to the backyard. So the littles end up looking forward to the trips out too.
One last comment, as stressed as I feel on those crazy days of clubs and practices...for whatever reason, when I look back...they were some of our most productive. The time constraint made us buckle down and get things moving, got chores completed in timely manners. When we had no where to go (those few and far between days) I so looked forward to them the night before, but then come morning, I'd think "oh I have time yet" and stuff would get put off and before I knew it was 10 am and then lunch and yikes...have the youngers begun their school...I'd let the time go without even knowing it when I didn't have that clock ticking.
It seems like crazy thinking...the whole performing under pressure...but it sort of works for us...but it's definitely nice not to be that way all the time.
It's something that I think we have to re-evaluate each year, and each year realize it could really be a lot different from the last. But hey, that's what these kids are for...keeping us on our toes and keeping life way interesting!!!
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KackyK
Mom to 8 - 3 dd, 5ds & 4 babes in heaven
Beginning With the Assumption
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Tifflynene
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| Posted: July 29 2007 at 10:44am | IP Logged
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Books-
Thank you you for starting this post...great idea! I, too am expecting a baby and will be 41 when she/he arrives. I definitely feel a different energy level this time around and am worried about how I will swing it all. I'll have grades 8, 3, K and Preschool. And boy, my little ones love projects! I have to be organized in this area and they are happy.
Reading Holly Pierlot's book has really helped me prioritize and stay organized. It's called a Mother's Rule of Life. She also has a great website
http://mothersruleoflife.com/
Have any of you read this?
I also wanted to comment that we have also found success in splitting up for different activities. I really had to "trade off" our family togetherness in this area. Sometimes my dh takes the older ds to scouts or to a swim event instead of taking the other kids (which felt like we're "dragging" them along.) And other times, my oldest 13yo will babysit so I can take another child to Karate, etc. We have found value in outside sports so we allow the children to pick 1 thing for now. (Not including music)
As each child is different, it adds to our constant struggle for balance. I need to constantly remind myself that it's impossible to use the cookie-cutter approach to life and our children. I don't do well in disorder or chaos so it's a battle for me.
Looking forward to chatting more. Off to get everyone ready for Mass.
__________________
~Tiffany~
Central Valley, California
Wife to dh Rod
Mother to 5 living blessings!
ds (age 13); ds (age 8); dd (age 4); ds (age 3); and baby on the way
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time4tea
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| Posted: July 29 2007 at 11:46am | IP Logged
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This has been a *great* thread! I have been struggling so much this year as my oldest enters 9th grade and I am looking forward to balancing his needs with those of our 7th, 2nd, K and soon-to-arrive-any-day-now newborn. So often, I see/hear what others moms are doing, and feel that whatever I am doing curriculum-wise, activity-wise, etc., regardless of what it is or how much thought I have put into it, that it must be wrong, because it isn't "this" or "that", etc. I get so wrapped in it that I do not take the time to remember that ultimately the Lord has a certain purpose for each dc, and will fulfill that purpose despite whatever setbacks or frustrations crop up along the way. It is so good that so many of you have reminded me of that again.
Thanks again and I'm looking forward to hearing others ideas in this thread!
__________________
Blessings to you!
~Tea
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kris
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I just want to add that I think it is terrific that you are recognizing this early and planning ahead. I was totally blindsided by the transition of having all my kids *under my thumb* to the teen years :) There is such a difference in homeschooling a group under 15 or so ( or when they start driving :) and having some over that age. The work load, the desire to be out and about, time w/friends very important...add jobs, sports or other extra curriculars and you have the potential for one frazzled mom. (My four oldest are all boys, as well...and I had major guilts about them being around me so much in this phase of their life).
Probably not the answer you are looking for, but when I had a senior, sophmore, freshman, 7th, 5th, 3rd, 1st, babe @ home and was pregnant a new charter school opened right down the street and we decided to give it a try ( only the three middle children could go because of the grades they offered). It has helped
and been a blessing to us. I know others have found ways to keep homeschooling everyone.... I really believe when you cry out to the Lord He will lead and guide you to the answer that is right for *your* family.
Some things that have helped with the highschoolers ( for me) are to have them in a correspondence school that grades their papers and keeps their records. We've also done the duo-enrolled gig for higher math at a local college.
Just about anything we couldn't all do together in some respect was really difficult...caused a lot of disjointedness in our day.
Right now I have a junior and freshman ( with pretty severe ld we have since discovered..needs lots of hand holding to get through the school day) still @ home with a 4, 2 and 8 mo. The two oldest have graduated, one is in college.
God bless you!
Kris
__________________
Kris
married to Tim 6-83
mom to Al (87) Zak (89) Dylan (91) Noah (92) Naomi (94) Jackson (96) George ( 98) Samuel ^i^ 2000, Jed (03) Manny (05) and Gabriella (06)
http://myspiritrejoices.blogspot.c
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LisaR
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Thank you Kris for chiming in here...My oldest 4 are also boys and Joseph is on the cusp of his Freshman year at a very nearby Catholic HS.
We already cannot believe the transformation in him, and our relationship, as he has taken on tremendous "outside" responsibility this summer.
The school requires 100 community service hours, and they must fit within the parameters of the beatitudes. Most kids put in 150-200 though by graduation. It is a huge deal to our entire city/community and the 900 or so kids in the school are really known for this. Joseph already has put in 40 hours this summer- on his own initiative, helping with a VBS that Mother Teresa's Sisters run for Mexican kids, Serving many funeral Masses, and more. Yes, I could have "required" that of him, or I could "count" all of his help within our own family, but my follow through is not the greatest and he most likely would not have done it as well without all of the positive peer pressure around him- it's all the kids talk about- comparing notes, ideas of where to serve, etc.
He worked for 2 weeks at the school for tuition reduction as well.
He is setting his own alarm and rising at 5:30 every am for football (never played before) and is doing really well, plus packing his own lunch, gatorade, water, doing his own laundry, etc. All things that were more either done by me or initiated by me in the past.
We just got his school schedule in the mail. 5 of his teachers will be men/priests!
Don't really know where I'm going wtih this except to say that I am grateful that we made this choice. While I will miss him greatly, I am so happy for him that he is maturing in this way.
The trade off may be that we are not all together (and I lose my best babysitter/mom's helper ), however it fills a need he and I both had in the motivation area.
I see him practicing so hard at football, the boys look like military bootcamp out there, and we just could not provide him with these life lesson opportunities on our own anymore...
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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kris
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| Posted: Aug 12 2007 at 4:54pm | IP Logged
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Whoa--that sounds like the school of my dreams for those boys, Lisa!! :) How wonderful you all are able to avail yourself of such an opportunity!
Yes, I really think for some boys...that kind of situation is really what is needed.
__________________
Kris
married to Tim 6-83
mom to Al (87) Zak (89) Dylan (91) Noah (92) Naomi (94) Jackson (96) George ( 98) Samuel ^i^ 2000, Jed (03) Manny (05) and Gabriella (06)
http://myspiritrejoices.blogspot.c
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SallyT
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This is a great thread, though I need to go back and read the many lengthy posts more slowly, in order to digest them!
We have fewer children -- 4 -- only 2 are "formally" schooling (#3 is a kindergartener, but it's a VERY informal kindergarten year), and our youngest will be 4 in December, so for the first time we really don't have baby/toddler issues to contend with. From 2.5 to 3.5 is a BIG maturity leap! At the same time, we have a relatively large age range -- 13 to 3 -- so while it's not so many kids to juggle as some of you have, I have the same concerns about not having anyone fall through the cracks while I'm focused on another age group.
This is our fifth year of homeschooling, and I think I've become resigned to the realization that we're going to be figuring it out forever. I'm still struggling with balance! Last year was TOO crazy, in terms of outside activities: ballet, choir, theatre, violin, swordfighting. This wasn't ALL children doing ALL activities, but having so many things go on did affect the quality of our collective family life. All the things the older children did were good and worthwhile, but I'm trying to simplify a bit this year.
We have done a monthly First Friday Mass-and-classes thing with our homeschool group, but this will be the first year we are adding real co-op elements. The biggest change will be that I will be teaching, and my oldest daughter will participate, in a high-school co-op which will meet weekly for the equivalent of a normal school day, including a lunch hour/social time, and prayers/Mass. This will be more work for me, because I'll be teaching English; on the other hand, I largely won't be responsible for directing her apologetics and Latin. (we also don't have to pay the registration fee, since I'm teaching!). I'll be interested to find out what I think about this element of our schedule by the end of the school year, but I can say, at this moment, that this co-op was born from the desire of several mothers to continue homeschooling their high-schoolers while giving them a taste of a "brick-and-mortar" high school experience. One mother's daughter had very strongly wanted to go to school for high school, while the mother had very strongly felt that homeschooling was the right way to go. So this co-op is a compromise between the two. My feeling is that the once-a-week classroom experience will be fun and positive; that having clear assignments for the three classes for the rest of the week will save all of us from having to worry about those subjects on our own; and that the social opportunities will also be a positive.
For my other children: my other three, on co-op day, will be spending the day with a family who are probably our closest homeschooling friends, who two, and possibly three oldest kids will be participating in the high-school co-op. It's geared towards 9th and 10th graders, but their senior daughter wants to do my English reading, so I told her she could be my independent-study/teaching-assistant if she wants. So I'll have my friend's 3 oldest in co-op, and she'll have my 3 younger ones, and they'll just all do whatever she's doing that day. My kids will enjoy being with their friends, and I'm hoping the variety will keep things lively. This is a family, incidentally, that I'm very happy and comfortable having my children spend a lot of time with -- we are in and out of each other's houses all the time, anyway, so they are like an extra set of cousins for my kids, who don't have many cousins.
We are also, with this family and one other, doing a history/science day once a week. My oldest can stay home and do her work independently on that morning, which I think will be her preference, and for the others, I just won't worry too much about history and science on other days. We're fairly unstructured anyway, so I'm not that worried about getting everything "in" at a particular time, which I think makes these kinds of things easier. This will ensure that my kids get regular doses of science, which I have not always been good at providing. I will be interested to see what I think about the "busy-ness" aspect of things by the end of the year! Again, I think the fact that we don't and won't have a baby in the mix makes a big difference -- the kids are all reaching the age where we don't NEED as much cocooning as we did when the littles were tiny. But I may feel differently about that come May.
As for extracurriculars -- YES, I have found myself driving a lot farther than I would have deemed ideal. My children have been heavily involved in a children's theatre a half-hour drive from our house; my son's swordfighting class and oldest daughter's ballet have also been in the same little community as the theatre. This year we are limiting our theatre involvement, and we've cut out ballet, both because of the expense and because it was one more long drive. My son does swords at the same studio, but we never could get classes at the same time!
As it is, here are the big kids' extracurricular activities:
9yo son: Webelos (1xweek), swordfighting (1xweek), parish treble choir (2xweek)
13yo daughter: violin (1xweek), parish treble choir (2xweek). She wants to try out for a production of Pride and Prejudice at a nearby (much nearer than the children's theatre) community theatre, where she's tried out for things before but not gotten in. I've told her I'll let her audition -- hopefully she'd only get a very small part at most, so even though rehearsals would be on a more "adult" schedule, my hope is that she might not have to be at so many early on. Also, there's almost no drive time, so there wouldn't be the issue of the rest of us having to find something to do for 2 hours, because it wasn't worth it to drive home. I have reservations about this, due to increased academic demands, but she is very serious about doing something related to theatre as a career, so I feel I need to let her try to juggle things and see how it goes. IF she gets in at all, that is!
Treble choir takes more time than anything else, but it's in our parish, which is nearby (and we can carpool), it's FREE, and it's one of those multidisciplinary things: music (it IS music class for the 9yo), Latin, liturgics, etc. I always count it as part of our religion and Latin studies, as well as music. I love Scouting because it covers so many academic bases as well - they've done geography, science, cooking, nature, and any number of other things.
So, as I say, it's a difficult balance. I try to keep at least one day a week, and usually two, totally free of any kind of outside activity, so that each week has something of a balance between "cocooning/recharging" and "outward bound." In some seasons and years we have been more cocoony than in others. Not having a baby or very little child makes a difference, too -- though I'd certainly welcome another baby. Looks as though this academic year will not be a baby or pregnancy year, however, so I'm taking the lay of the land as I find it.
Thanks for raising the question -- it's good to have to reflect on these issues.
Pax,
Sally
PS -- I also find that the older kids' activities make for a disjointed day for the rest of us, though we've largely dealt with that either by finding things to do near where the older child's activity takes place (parks, mostly), or by "carschooling" -- listening to a book on tape, reading aloud, having prayers or a rosary -- while we wait for the older child's activity to finish. I try to keep a variety of books, magazines, audiobooks, and so forth on hand in our van, so that we can use our waiting time in a relaxed but productive way. It's not a perfect solution, but it's one way to cope with the to-ing and fro-ing. We used to have to take my husband to work in the mornings, and we got into the habit of listening to NPR and then talking about the news (and about media bias). Some of our best discussions have taken place in the car -- something about having a captive audience, maybe!
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Castle in the Sea
Abandon Hopefully
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: the trade offs we make
