4Real Forums: Are there Catholic books on wife's role?

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Topic: Are there Catholic books on wife's role?

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Willa
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Posted: Aug 04 2007 at 10:01am \| IP Logged

I like that word "confidence", Theresa.   There is a sort of trust that can go on even when it's disappointed -- a trust that when the other person CAN do better, he will.

I have been catching up on these posts and have started writing several times but can't seem to say anything that hasn't already been said very well.

That point in marriage where a bunch of kids are under ten and the husband is busy with work is a HARD time for a wife and mother. All that nurturing and support going outwards and not always perceived to be coming in. In the course of the marriage it will balance out, probably.

Sometimes it helped me to stand back a bit from my family and look at it as a whole, INCLUDING myself. If I am really being hard on myself, to the point where it's an "injury" rather than just good growing pains, it will hurt the family, particularly my husband, since we are one flesh.

There's a Martha type of "submission" and a Mary type. The Martha type is scurrying around, worried and cross. The Mary type is peaceful and willing, with eyes of love. It helps me when I'm not sure if I'm doing the real submission or the false kind, to reflect on Martha and Mary.

I also often remember what St Francis de Sales said about how it's a common mistake in the well-meaning beginner to try to fly like an eagle before one can even walk steadily.   Sometimes I find it better to cut back on the multitude of my efforts and do a few "small things, with great love."

A mom of several littlies is doing a lot already by just BEING and by bringing everyone through the day -- being the home territory for your unborn one and the heart and center of the home.   St Francis de Sales talks about that, too.

These are things that helped me -- not immediately, but in the long run.

If you hate that "martyrdom" feeling but don't know quite why it feels so wrong, read Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis -- he was extremely perceptive in describing its manifestations, and funny, too. It made me see how I sometimes use "good" as a weapon, only half-realizing it.

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Willa
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Maria B.
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Posted: Aug 04 2007 at 10:08am \| IP Logged

WJFR wrote:

I also often remember what St Francis de Sales said about how it's a common mistake in the well-meaning beginner to try to fly like an eagle before one can even walk steadily. Sometimes I find it better to cut back on the multitude of my efforts and do a few "small things, with great love."

A mom of several littlies is doing a lot already by just BEING and by bringing everyone through the day -- being the home territory for your unborn one and the heart and center of the home. St Francis de Sales talks about that, too.

Very wise! Thank you for giving me some great food for thought as I reflect on this thread and all of it wisdom.

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chicken lady
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Posted: Aug 04 2007 at 11:20am \| IP Logged

Excellent Willa, thank you!

Kim F
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Posted: Aug 04 2007 at 2:07pm \| IP Logged

willa wrote:

If you hate that "martyrdom" feeling but don't know quite why it feels so wrong, read Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis -- he was extremely perceptive in describing its manifestations, and funny, too. It made me see how I sometimes use "good" as a weapon, only half-realizing it.

I was thinking of this same book the other day. He describes the spiral brilliantly.

Kim

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Dawnie
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Posted: Aug 09 2007 at 9:13pm \| IP Logged

My dh and I were discussing this thread and he decided to blog his thoughts about wifely submission...you can read his thoughts here.

He posted some of his blog at Catholic Dads. I think it is interesting to hear husbands' points of view on this issue.

Dawn

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LisaC
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Posted: Aug 10 2007 at 10:09am \| IP Logged

Hi Dawn,
Read the blogs and the comments

.

Nice Dads blogs!

Lisa

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