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Rachel May
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| Posted: June 05 2007 at 5:08pm | IP Logged
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saintanneshs wrote:
I feel that way too sometimes. It's almost like it's okay for ME to think it because I know I'll get over it, but I get totally freaked out when someone in my family wants to say it out loud to me! |
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Good point! I generally freak out when my mom says something about me "taking a little break" even if that's exactly what I'm thinking. Everyone else I can ignore pretty easily because I don't see us as coming from the same viewpoint, but my mom.... 
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Rachel
Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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msclavel
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| Posted: June 05 2007 at 5:32pm | IP Logged
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Oooh, everyone has shared beautifully and from the heart.
Just this afternoon I was on the phone with my youngest sister as she nursed her baby boy (her first child) just 4 days old and I walked with my 8 month old (my seventh child). Cay, your first post captured so well exactly what I felt this afternoon.
I took dinner to a friend today who just had baby #4 and I told her how very much I wanted to have another child very soon.
I must be insane , but I can't imagine a day that I won't long for another blessing. Looking at the pictures of my nephew I was overwhelmed by the thought of God allowing us to play a part in this magnificent work of procreation. There in front of me was this little person, the living, breathing sign of his parent's love and vocation. How awesome!
My family thinks I'm nuts and I know my husband always feels like the current baby must be the last. The next year will be hard for me, as I know he truly is not open to another child right now. All I can do is offer it up and trust in God's timing. He's never failed us yet.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: June 05 2007 at 10:53pm | IP Logged
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How I answer people who are talking about spacing between children (usually getting gasps at how close mine are) I try to cheerfully point out that every stage has it's positives and it's negatives.. I prefer to focus on the positive.
And I would think that type of answer would be appropriate for this type of conversation. 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Lisbet
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| Posted: June 06 2007 at 5:38am | IP Logged
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Jodie, I like that answer, alot. I think I'll use it myself!  Thanks.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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marianne
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| Posted: June 06 2007 at 2:28pm | IP Logged
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I can't imagine wanting to move on. However, I think that at a certain point, when I am dragged by time into life without littles, I will enjoy having the freedom that comes with that. I will enjoy going out to dinner with my husband whenever I want, and being able to take walks whenever I want, or go to church or shopping whenever I want. And I will enjoy it without regret, because I will have made the most of that other stage of life, where I was literally drowning in kids! You should have seen me at my 6yo's T-ball game today - holding my 3 youngest all at the same time, while watching the game. They were all hugging and kissing on each other, and I really did have my hands full! It was like a little piece of heaven! But one day, I will be able to sit alone and I will enjoy that too, if you see what I'm saying.
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teachingmyown
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Every time I am pregnant, I feel like this has to be the last one. As I go through the fatigue and discomforts, as I worry about my older ones getting enough of me, I really feel like it is enough. I am so ready to move on, even as excited as I am about the coming baby. But by the time I go through labor, I can't imagine not doing it again.
I think I do look forward to the next stage. I know my dh does. But we aren't in a hurry, and I worry that I will be so sad when it does come. Sometimes for me, I dream more of that "break". Maybe a year or two of not nursing, actually sleeping through the night and even going to a movie with my dh. Then, I would SO ready to welcome the baby stage again.
I have never had the chance to long for another baby. Well, I almost did this time, but not for long. So, I guess I take it for granted more than I would if couldn't get pregnant so easily.
There is a woman who has a child on my dd's baseball team, who has the American dream- one boy, one girl. She always shows up in stylish clothes or workout clothes. Looks perfect. But she watches my kids, and can't stop talking about them and about her two when they were babies. She seems near tears sometimes as she talks, and often comments to her husband about having another. The impression I get is that they had that "taken care of" years ago. And now she is so sad and empty. Her life looks great, she has moved on and has all kinds of freedom. But her arms are empty and her heart is heavy. And the saddest part is that it is not because it is God's will and she bears the cross of infertility. It is because they bought the idea of "two is enough" and "time to move on". It is heartbreaking! 
I pray I will always find contentment in the stage that God has planned for me, instead of looking forward or backward.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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saintanneshs
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teachingmyown wrote:
| I pray I will always find contentment in the stage that God has planned for me, instead of looking forward or backward. |
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What a great prayer. 
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Kristine
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Maria B.
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| Posted: June 06 2007 at 3:21pm | IP Logged
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teachingmyown wrote:
I pray I will always find contentment in the stage that God has planned for me, instead of looking forward or backward.
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Well said Molly! A great motto for me to try and remind myself of each day. Thanks for this beautiful thought.
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Maria in VA
Proud Mom to 10 Great kids!
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snowbabiesmom
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When people ask us.. "are you done?" My dh came up with a great answer... "We are done for this year" We are going on 12 years and have been pg 6 times. I am nursing our little 4 month old now and already thinking.. will there be more?? Medically speaking for me, I need to let God take over and heal me before I think that way, but really, He is the author of life. My priest friend reminded me and it somes into my head often.. "This is my body, I give it up for you."
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juststartn
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My dh has said (before we found out that the twins were, in fact, twins, lol), that "This would be the last"...
He comes from a large family (13 dc). His concerns are for his own ability to be physical with more dc, as he is in his early 40s and already has back troubles (plus we will be leaving the steady income/good benefits of his military career when he retires when he comes home).
I am from a smaller family (3 dc). I don't know that I will ever even ovulate again, much less whether or not I will ever conceive....so I am willing to take whatever dc God chooses to send me. How can I say no, if He is placing the opportunity before me/us? What a gift it is, to be permitted to participate in that unique act of creation! (I have PCOS, and have ovulated a grand total of 9 times in 8yrs...not exactly a terrific track record).
That all being said, I don't know that there will come a time that I won't want another one. Shoot, I am at the point of wanting "another one" when I am pregnant! LOL. I don't know that I will ever get past the wanting to feel those squirms and wiggles inside of me, and knowing that it is a whole other life in there, not my own...
Having struggled for years to conceive our first, and knowing that with my PCOS dx, I could at any time simply not be fertile anymore, well, I have to rest in the providence of God's knowledge of what I need. Not what I want. And if He decides that I don't need anymore dc of my own flesh and blood, so be it. I won't be HAPPY. But it will give me something to offer up. And it will force me out of the baby stage and into the big kid stage.
Personally, I hope to be like some of you, and not leave the little people stage behind til I at least have one dc married and pregnant...lol. But that'd make me right on close to 45-50 probably, and I KNOW DH is going to put his foot down about us having more dc when he's in his mid-50s/almost 60. SIGH.
I'll just pray DH gets hit with a spiritual 2x4 and welcomes life whenever it comes....
But I tell people I am not done, that I will take the dc that God gives me. And I tell the dr's/nurses that I am Catholic, and devoutly so, so they can just skip the whole "What abc are you using" discussion in my post-partum apptmts. LOL
Rachel (whose method of family planning right now is complete and total abstinence, with DH overseas for 18mos...lol)
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Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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MEBarrett
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I can't imagine not wanting another one. I always want babies around. I am sure the next stage will be beautiful and I'm hoping it includes lots of grandchildren but I think the baby ache will always be there.
When people ask if we're done we always say, "about halfway."
Shuts them right up.
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Mary Ellen
Mom to seven beautiful kids
Tales from the Bonny Blue House
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kris
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| Posted: June 17 2007 at 7:00am | IP Logged
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I pray I will always find contentment in the stage that God has planned for me, instead of looking forward or backward.
---That is a beautiful sentiment. :)
It seems like the older I have gotten the more content with the idea that it is time to move on. There is a sense of this being time for a new *season* in life. That is not to say I am not extremely grateful for the "later in life" babes God has blessed us with, and I would be thrilled to have more....just I *think* I can imagine myself being okay now with not having any more, whereas in the past I would have struggled. We'll see. :)
kris
mom to Al,(87) Zak, (89) Dylan (91) Noah (92) Naomi (94) Jackson (96) George (98) Samuel ^i^ 2000, Jed (03) Manny (05) and Gabriella (06)
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Moving on...??
