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amyable
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| Posted: May 14 2007 at 3:56pm | IP Logged
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A little poll -
What is your dh's commute time?
If you think it is long, are you finding the benefits of where you are living outweigh the commute?
*****
Now that we found out we are having a boy, we are more convinced than ever that moving is in our future. House prices around here have skyrocketed. Because of price, crime, house size and other considerations (like wanting a touch of nature around or at least a yard bigger than a postage stamp so we can create our own nature  ), we are finding that it's only available at a commute of 45-60 minutes or more away from dh's job (probably more towards the higher side). His current commute is about 30 minutes and that works well for us.
I'd love to hear from anyone that wants to post - if the commute is short and you wouldn't change that for anything, let me know! If it is long and it's worth it for whatever reason, I'd love to hear that too.
Thank you for humoring me lately, everyone - I think I'm trying to create my own "chat over the garden gate" feeling here - I have so many questions on my mind and no one around here who could really answer -IRL friends don't share my concerns lately and everyone is so busy. A big  to everyone from me.
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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Anne McD
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15 miles-- can take anywhere from 15 minutes (with a lead foot and no traffic in the middle of the night  ) to an hour and a half at rush hour. This is with some new roads in our area.
The commute stinks for him. He sits in traffic, and after a long day at work and dealing with all sorts of problems, he gets the added joy of sitting in traffic.
Good luck figuring this one out!!  I'd love to get more land and less of a commute, too, but we hate to give up the parish, let alone the diocese. Its a tough call!!
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Anne
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and baby on the way! 10/14
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Maryan
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Taking the back route, 30 minutes (15 on a Saturday morning), so for our area -- that's pretty good! But we live "out of town" a bit -- so it's the same commute for me to get the grocery store and Mass.
But we live with a lot of family and land... so we'd never switch.
Is there a train available? Even if it takes as long, at least dh could read??
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Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
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Fuzzy
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Dh takes the train (about 50 minutes) and then a bus or metro (15-20 minutes) to and from work with his new job in DC. He gets his nap on the way home and relaxing time. (I may be a little off on the times, but I know it is WAY longer than I could do!)
My DH is a GOOD commuter. I could NOT do that every day, even on the train as he does. He is so patient with it every day, and I know it is for us that he does it, and grace helps him.
We love where we live, as we are VERY close to family, mine and his, and if we moved closer to his work, it would be more expensive and more stress on the family, as far as NOT having the support of friends and family nearby (that is for me) and finances of our home (that is for my DH).
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 Fuzzy
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mathmama
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Well, my dh's commute is about 20 minutes, but that is because he walks  We live 1.5 miles from his work. We were so blessed to find this house as it meant we didn't have to buy a second car. We would like a more rural setting, but for now, this is the best we can afford and we are grateful for it.
Beth
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Angie Mc
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30 minutes non-rush...60+ rush hour or with traffic problems (accidents, etc.)
We make the best of it because:
Dh is an excellent commuter - I couldn't do it.
Dh tends to miss the traffic, going into town early to go to the gym - which he likes.
We talk on the phone on his way home, usually.
He listens to music, CDs, and sports radio.
For us, it is worth it because we love our small town living. I really think it comes down to if dh is a good commuter or not (I'm telling you, there is a good commuter gene which he has and I don't!) and if Mom has enough support at home to absorb the commutes.
Phoenix is going light rail soon...wow, that could really improve things for us!
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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Lisbet
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Amy,
Currently my husbands commute time is less than 15 minutes. We are also hoping to move to a rural area soon for the very reasons you mentioned. (although we will have 6 boys, and we really really need to get this brood out for our own saftey and piece of mind.)
We have recently agreed that we will look no more than 45 minutes out. We will be closer to family, so that will help me out a bit, plus we will have more land, and less issues from neighbors. My husband will feel better about leaving us at home each day, right now it's a big worry. Especially now that it's getting nicer out. It's a trade we are willing and eager to make.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
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doris
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| Posted: May 14 2007 at 5:35pm | IP Logged
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My dh's commute is 15 minutes by bike (pushbike, not motorbike) or 35 minutes by underground. That is *such* a big bonus for us. He found time in the car so draining on his energy (and on our resources given petrol prices here, and on the planet!).
We had to move because his new job wasn't commutable from our old house. But I've found the move itself very hard -- it takes such a loooong time to make friends, and feel comfortable with people. Well, for me at least. But obviously that depends where you're moving from, and to. London isn't famed for its friendly, neighbourhood spirit!
So -- it's a difficult toss-up between ease of commute, stress of moving, and the possible benefits of a new area.
Maybe a novena to the Holy Spirit for wisdom wouldn't go amiss?
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
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teachingmyown
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Dh commutes about 90 minutes, each way, on a good day and avoiding rushhour. Many days it is much, much worse.
Is it worth it? That I don't know. If we have to stay in the area, then yes, it's worth it. We wouldn't move closer in for anything. The traffic, the prices, the lack of land, are all things that are unacceptable to us.
On the other hand, this is precisely why we are considering a move to PA. He could have a much shorter commute, we could still have land, and pay less for it. The downside is leaving our diocese, friends and worst of all, my parents.
I would say, look for the best of both worlds. Physically, the long commute is not healthy for our men, and emotionally, it is too hard on us and the kids when we only see him for two or three hours a day.
It really comes down to what is MOST important to you and dh, especially your dh. I love having 5 acres, but I could have done without it, especially to live even a little closer. Dh couldn't. He works so hard that I think his preferences need to met first.
Good luck! I would love to stay and chat at the fence, but someone needs to fix dinner!
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Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
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Mary G
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DH and I are very spoiled -- it takes him about 15 minutes to walk to work! And on beautiful days, we can walk (about 1 mi) to church; we also have a grocery, library and other important places within walking distance. We love it! Ever since we lived in the small village in Austria, our goal has been to be within walking distance .... we finally have it!
so to answer the original question, Amy, 15 minute commute on foot.
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MaryG
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guitarnan
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My dh commutes via train and Metro. It is not fun at all...usually 75-90 minutes one way, but the trains break down fairly often and they are usually standing room only at night. He can't relax or rest while standing in a sardine can. Driving would be worse, though (he does that about once a week).
The hardest part is that the trains only run once per hour in non-rush times (like, after 7:00 PM), so if he misses that 6:40 train he doesn't get home until about 8:00. Fortunately, we homeschool, so we eat late and then the kids and I sleep in. 
It is really exhausting for poor dh. This past Saturday he slept nearly all day. If he doesn't do this fairly often, then he gets sick. It's not a great situation. (You know it's bad when Iraq starts looking really good.)
We really didn't have many options when dh got Pentagon orders; we own this house in MD, and his Pentagon housing allowance has helped pay for needed repairs and replacements...our tenants put a sandbox in our family room, for example...
Also, this is our only real home, so it seemed silly to rent a place closer to work when our hearts are here. The tradeoff is big, very big. If we hadn't owned a home here already, I would never live this far away. Sometimes I feel guilty because the kids and I are happy and dh is really suffering with a bad job and horrible commute.
In the best possible world, dh would have a good job to take the sting out of a bad commute, or vice versa. Having both parts fall toward the negative side is extremely stressful. In our case, the Navy didn't give us choices...dh was ordered to the Pentagon, and that was the end of that.
The truth, though, is that dh would have to work long hours at any Navy office, at most government jobs he would like to do, or at a contractor job. That's where the long commute really drags things down...and saps our family time...
Don't get me wrong; I enjoy the Navy life immensely most of the time (especially now that I am not the commanding officer's wife!), but when your dh has to work long hours, adding more driving hours on to that is really draining, we have found.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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trish
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Dh has a 45 min drive to and from work. All highway and traffic is pretty light (most of the time).
To both of us it's worth it because we do get to live out in the country. That is something we had been dreaming about for years. The kids love where we live and so do we.
The only down side is during the winter. He leaves in the dark and gets home in the dark. And the driving conditions can be bad at times. (during winter)
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Alice R
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In rush hour, you are talking some serious commute time. Maybe 2 hours each way. Not in rush hour, maybe 1 1/2 hours?
Sometimes we wonder if it is worth it. But we cannot live on a regular salary here. The money is in NYC. So for now, "Beep Beep!"
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MaryM
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20-30 minutes (sometimes longer, but rarely). We don't think this is long at all. We could live further out (we would like a more rural setting and more space) but don't feel the trade off would be worth it for us. In addition to being a reasonable commute from work, we like being closer in to the places we frequent. Since we live in a larger metropolitan area you really have to go pretty far out to get rural (and that is changing so rapidly it won't stay rural for long), so we have figured we won't have that until we actually decide to make a move to a smaller community that isn't part of a larger metro area.
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Bridget
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One hour each way in icky traffic, unless he leaves at 4 in the morning. We can't afford this much house and property any closer.
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Anne McD
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| Posted: May 14 2007 at 7:17pm | IP Logged
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Mary G wrote:
DH and I are very spoiled -- it takes him about 15 minutes to walk to work! And on beautiful days, we can walk (about 1 mi) to church; we also have a grocery, library and other important places within walking distance. We love it! Ever since we lived in the small village in Austria, our goal has been to be within walking distance .... we finally have it!
so to answer the original question, Amy, 15 minute commute on foot. |
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All right, that settles it-- I'm telling dh we're moving to CO!!! 
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Anne
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and baby on the way! 10/14
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MaryatHome
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We live in the urban core of a middle-sized city in the midwest. We live here for a number of reasons, not the least of which is DH commute time. It takes him longer to walk from his parking place to his desk than it does to drive from our home to his plant. (About six minutes to drive)
We took into account lots of things, but on this issue, urban living made more sense to us because this way he has time and energy to spend with our children, rather than being gone on the commute two hours a day. If we lived in the burbs, he would not be as easily able to be DS' Scoutmaster, because he would just be walking in the door at home when the meeting starts. He would not be able to maintain an active presence in the Knights of Columbus, or DD's CYO teams, etc. for the same reason.
To us, the "face time" counted for more than the semi-rural life. We have also been fortunate to find homes with fairly large yards (the home where we lived when our children were littles was a corner lot, so was oversized).
That was our calculation.....your mileage may vary.
Mary
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Philothea
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My DH's commute takes just a hair under an hour each way (to go only twelve miles!). We have only been able to afford a townhouse in a nice neighborhood this close to his office (which is in a very pricey inner suburb of DC). We could afford a single family home with a yard (land, even) further out, but the commute time would be more like those mentioned above -- 3 to 4 hours round-trip on a good day. We talk about it endlessly, but so far we prefer having him home more often. Two hours wasted in the car every day is bad enough.
As our children get older and less physically demanding on me (and more influenced by the increasingly urbanized nature of our immediate area), our priorities may change. But for now, I'll trade living space for the lots of extra help I get from DH that I wouldn't have if we lived further out. Besides, despite our misgivings about our county in general, we really like our little neighborhood.
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Jen L.
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I'm ready to move anywhere that my husband could walk to work in 15 minutes! (We are staying here, though, since both our families are here as well as a job he really enjoys  )
My dh has a 40-60 minute commute each way. We can't afford anything here besides our 35 year old townhouse but really are unwilling to up the commute any further.
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Bethany
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My DH commutes about 90 minutes on the commuter bus. We live about 40 miles out of downtown DC where he works. I hate the commute, he leaves at 6:30 am and is usually home at 6:30 pm. Which doesn't leave much time during the week with the kids since their young and go to bed early. He's also tired on the weekends. The sad thing is we live this far out and still can't afford a house and he makes a very good salary. We've talked of moving SW of DC to buy a home, because it's more affordable, but I'm afraid the commute on 95 would be worse.
My dream is to move somewhere where we could live within a few miles of his office. It's possible, but difficult. I'd much rather forego acreage or some square footage to have him home more.
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Bethany
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Commute Time
