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Meredith
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I also think (but can't confirm with any factual info) that breastfeeding pays a huge role in conception at later ages, and what Bridget mentioned about having children all through your childbearing years. Having our 4th at just 40 for me was awesome and I got very tired of people saying that I was a *mature* pregnant women, mainly people in the healthcare field. My first response was "Oh PLEASE, I'm healthier now than I was when I was in my twenties trying to be the image of secular women." I think this is where the breastfeeding and pregnany link comes in because we tend to eat more healthfully and take better care of ourselves when we are bearing children and breastfeeding them for long periods of time.
Just my .02 
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Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
Sweetness and Light
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teachingmyown
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I am just getting a chance to read this thread and of course had to throw my 2 cents in.
My oldest (of 6) turned 14 on Sunday. My youngest will be two in six weeks. They are both a handful! It is tiring navigating the teenage years for the first time. My toddler is the most challenging child I have had.
There was a period of time after I got my fertility back, that I was convinced I could not handle another child. We decided to use NFP. (We had always charted, but never felt compelled to avoid pregnancy, never having grave or even just cause.) I definitely see NFP as a gift. To be able to re-evaluate that decision on a monthly basis, I believe, makes it easier to be open to life.
After a few months, I did just that. I re-evaluated my thinking. I had always prayed for a larger spacing between children. Other than the first two, they are all less than two years apart. In my mind, I had decided to wait until the baby was around three or four, and then try to have more children. But then I noticed others who, even though they were open and trying, were not able to conceive. Others who were only a couple of years older than I am. (35) It struck me that my "plan" might not work. What if when I was "ready" again I couldn't conceive? What if I missed that opportunity to welcome another soul into our family? All of a sudden my plan seemed too risky.
The irony in it all is that now that we have been open and even trying for several months, I haven't conceived. In fact, it looks like I may even have some health problems that could prevent me from conceiving again. But now I can be comforted knowing that I am open to God's plan, instead of trying to thwart it. Life is still pretty overwhelming to me. Honestly, I am glad for this longer space. But I am hoping that it is a "space" between Kateri and another baby, and not the end.
Mary, I don't think it is selfish at all to want a break. I am close to having no children in diapers for the first time in over nine years. The same goes for nursing. My husband and I go out to dinner and movies without a nursing baby tagging along. It is nice, it is not selfish. And I can see how it can become hard to want to go back to the baby days after a time without them. However, as I often remind myself, there will be time for these things later. So if another baby "interrupts" these little freedoms, I will welcome it and try to savor it, just as I did when my other babies came along.
Just keep praying and keep your heart open. You will find the right answer.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Erica Sanchez
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Oh Molly, that's just how I have been feeling! What if I won't be able to conceive after this "break" I am taking! This time of catching up with myself has been very, very good, but......
Regarding the pregnancy rates of older women.....I had always thought that women who couldn't conceive in the later years had more than likely used contraception for years. Of course, this can't be true for all women unable to conceive, but women who have used contraception as early as even their teen years and now 20 or 25 years later want to conceive....well, you just wonder what that's really done to their bodies. I also have no data on this, just my thoughts.....
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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cswini
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I have been wondering about the statistical drop in fertility myself, when it doesn't seem to be applicable in the little "orthodox" circle we seem to move in. God seems to be having no trouble adding to their families in their forties at all. It appears that when women have had multiple pregnancies in their 20's and 30's that fertility stays strong even in their 40's. Has anyone seen a study that backs this up? I have seen several places on the internet that being able to conceive and bear children in your forties is one of the strongest indicators of living to extreme old age - 90's and beyond. So hopefully we'll be around to see even our tailenders become grandparents!
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Catherine, wife to Joe, mother to Ben '86, Laura '88, Samantha '89, Jessica '92, Max '02, & Julia '04
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Suzy
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I'm really beginning to have that "I want another baby" feeling again. I'll be 44 next Monday (10th) and my youngest (#7) turned two last month. It's nice to hear some women here having babies in their mid-late forties. My husband (who will be 45 in a few weeks) hasn't quite warmed up to the idea. I did ask him to prayerfully consider it. God's will be done.
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Mary G
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I had my youngest at 41 -- he'll be 3 on Thanksgiving, so that would make me, um,  44. Last year I got pregnant twice, but miscarried both times -- the first time really upset me as I always was the type who if I was pregnant, 9 months later I was delivering a baby! After the 2nd miscarriage, which REALLY upset me, I have backed off on praying for another -- if it be God's will, that's wonderful, but I'm also enjoying the ones I have now.
The funny thing with the miscarriages -- the doctors danced all arund the fact that I'm getting older -- they didn't want to offend me  (like I don't know how old I am  ) -- and when I told them I would be happy with another baby, they suggested all kids of fertility treatments and conseling ,etc. I looked at them and said I'd leave it up to God! They were surprised.
In the secular media and medical world, much of the talk about infertility at an older age reflects the lifestyles prevalent in the US over the past 40 years or so... plethora of contraceptives, stressful lifestyles (the "you can do it all" bunkum), etc. The "experts" don't know how to deal with those of us who haven't used the pill, who are open to life and have big families.
Blessings to all -- and continue to pray for God's discernment regarding "birthin' more babies".....
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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Laura
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Thanks Angela! I didn't know that Elizabeth wrote articles each month. That was very touching and true.
Off to read them all! 
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JMJ,
Laura
wife to Ken and mom to 8 blessings with #9 due July 26,2009
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Martha
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Well, I've posted my current emotional tribulations on another thread, but here's our "discernment" for children.
We don't discern anymore. Life is so hard for us on so many levels, the last stress I need to add is when life should or shouldn't be. I leave that to Him. For the most part, it has been a huge weight off our shoulders.
This is not to say that I don't worry - I AM a mom! There is nothing wrong with worrying. There is nothing wrong with asking God to cut you some slack here and there. (Are You listening Lord?!) The BVM had questions and worries. She HAD to be scared! And this was only 1 baby for her!
Discernment is not nearly so much about whether to have or not have another baby. Discernment is much more about whether your heart is ready to surrender to God's plans for you - especially when those plans my not be in line with your own desires. Surrender is such a very hard thing for the human heart! Maybe that is why some of the most amazing blessings have been given to those who have surrendered to the Lord. Mary is our shining example of this. Not because she didn't have questions. Not because she wasn't scared and worried. But because she didn't let those fears keep her from complete surrender to God's plan for her.
Just another opinion, not sure that it helps you any.
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Martha
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mary
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I just wanted to update you all. We are expecting a baby in june/july. Thanks for all your insight and advice.
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momtomany
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I guess I get to be the first to congratulate you!!!!!
Many prayers for a happy, healthy and holy 9 months!!
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Mary Ann in PA
wife to MIchael, mom to Elizabeth, Becca, Tim, Peter, Andrew, Sarah, Matthew, John, Leah and Joseph
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amyable
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Congratulations!
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Amy
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The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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Suzy
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Congratulations, Mary!
Martha wrote:
We don't discern anymore. Life is so hard for us on so many levels, the last stress I need to add is when life should or shouldn't be. I leave that to Him. For the most part, it has been a huge weight off our shoulders.
Martha, that is the conclusion we came to. I'm anxiously awaiting the next 10 days to see if we'll have a new little one!
Suzy
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Karen E.
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mary wrote:
| I just wanted to update you all. We are expecting a baby in june/july. Thanks for all your insight and advice. |
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Wow! Congratulations! What a joy to read through this thread and then find this sweet surprise at the end of it ....
Blessings to you all!
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God bless,
Karen E.
mom to three on earth, and several souls in God's care
Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
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kingvozzo
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mary wrote:
| I just wanted to update you all. We are expecting a baby in june/july. Thanks for all your insight and advice. |
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Wonderful news!! Thanks for sharing. May God bless with you with a joyous and healthy (and easy ) pregnancy!
You will be in my prayers.
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Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
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Meredith
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Mary, that's wonderful news!! Congratulations and a blessed pregnancy! Hope you're feeling good! Take care.
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Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
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Elizabeth
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mary wrote:
| I just wanted to update you all. We are expecting a baby in june/july. Thanks for all your insight and advice. |
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 Well that's very exciting! Many, many blessings to you and your family, Mary!
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Kathryn UK
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Congratulations Mary .
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Kathryn
Dh Michael,  Rachel(3/95) Hannah(8/98) Naomi(6/06)  (11/07)
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Erica Sanchez
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Yeah!!! I hope you are feeling O.K.
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: discerning more children
