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teachingmom Forum All-Star
Virginia Bluebells
Joined: Feb 16 2005 Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 2120
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Posted: April 10 2007 at 11:37pm | IP Logged
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I am so sorry for your loss, Jane.
I lost our first baby only a few days after the positive pregnancy test. We had told some people by then, but not all. We did let friends and family know. I was glad to have the prayers and support. We have named both of our miscarried babies and pray for their intercession daily as a family, so our other children are very aware of their siblings who died in the womb and recognize that two members of our family are not here with us. I will pray for you as you grieve.
__________________ ~Irene (Mom to 6 girls, ages 7-19)
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Maryan Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 02 2007
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Posted: April 11 2007 at 8:44pm | IP Logged
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Jane,
I'm so sorry. It is lonely, and it is hard. I've lost two through miscarriage.
And it will be harder for you than your dh. The more we know someone, the more we love them. I found that -- you, the mom, know your unborn baby more than your husband does, so you love them more (at first). And... you know the joy of being pregnant and all that this baby would be *more* than your husband does. So it will be harder for you... and he won't understand as much -- although, I'm not trying to fault husbands, it's just the way it is.
My friend who has suffered many miscarriages sent me this website which helped me tremendously. You want to click on the "BOOK OF LIFE."
http://www.innocents.com/
As others have mentioned, we too named our babies. And like you, I only have boys -- so my babies are named after the angels... in girl form. They are: Angela and Gabriella. (I miscarried at 8 and 9 weeks, so I really have no idea if they are girls or boys). And we told our kids (and friends)...in fact, my boys pray every night in our rosary to/for our "angel babies" as they call them.
Prayers here for you.
__________________ Maryan
Mom to 6 boys & 1 girl: JP('01), B ('03), M('05), L('06), Ph ('08), M ('10), James born 5/1/12
A Lee in the Woudes
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Wendy Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 14 2005 Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 530
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Posted: April 12 2007 at 10:33am | IP Logged
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I'm so sorry, Jane. We lost our fourth child at 9 weeks -- by then I had told everyone, as our youngest (at the time) was 5 and I had all but given up hope of having any more. It was devastating -- just a few days earlier we had seen a little heartbeat on ultrasound. It helped me to be able to talk about it. You'll be in my prayers...
__________________ God bless,
Wendy
Wife to Chris
Momma to Grace, Sam, Ben, Maggie, Mary Cate, and Jamie
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Tina P. Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2005 Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline Posts: 1638
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Posted: April 12 2007 at 2:44pm | IP Logged
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Maryan wrote:
Jane,
I'm so sorry. It is lonely, and it is hard. I've lost two through miscarriage.
And it will be harder for you than your dh. The more we know someone, the more we love them. I found that -- you, the mom, know your unborn baby more than your husband does, so you love them more (at first). And... you know the joy of being pregnant and all that this baby would be *more* than your husband does. So it will be harder for you... and he won't understand as much -- although, I'm not trying to fault husbands, it's just the way it is. |
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We certainly can not minimize the difficulty of a miscarriage for a husband. He had plans and dreams for this baby as well as I. My husband stumbles through the days same as I do. He has shown his children, for the first time, his vulnerable side. And he worries about me and how I'm feeling.
Though our husbands appear as pillars of strength to us, they have strong feelings and needs, too. I don't think that I could *possibly* love my children more than my husband does, whether they're just barely conceived or 50-year-olds. That's how much love he shares for them. As soon as that sly smile plays on my lips, my husband *knows* I'm expecting and we are together forming a bond with that tiny soul.
__________________ Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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Elizabeth Founder
Real Learning
Joined: Jan 20 2005 Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 5595
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Posted: April 12 2007 at 3:02pm | IP Logged
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Jane,
I just mentioned this to Hollee:
During Lent, the moderators planted a virtual Garden of Sorrows. There are reflections and meditations there on many of the sorrows of a mother's life. There is a quiet spot there for mothers who have suffered miscarriage.. I hope that you can spend some time there and that you find it comforting.
__________________ Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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KerryK Forum Pro
Joined: June 30 2006
Online Status: Offline Posts: 265
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Posted: April 13 2007 at 3:54pm | IP Logged
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Jane
I'm so sorry, and will be praying for you. I've had many losses and know that it doesn't matter how early or late...it's so hard.
Peace and hugs to you,
__________________ Kerry
Mom to
Matthew (10)
Mary (6)
New baby Samuel 2/26/07!
and 9 angels in heaven
The Eyes of My Heart
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