4Real Forums: A family situation (sorry)

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: A family situation (sorry)

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Jeanna
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Posted: March 25 2007 at 4:17pm \| IP Logged

Rachel,
I am in a slightly similar situation, and as I understand it you are free to go as neither of them are baptised Catholics. Here's a good article that I found that might help you.

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Jeanna
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Maria B.
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Posted: March 25 2007 at 4:29pm \| IP Logged

Jeanna, this article was a great help and something I plan on keeping for future reference. Thanks for sharing!

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Matilda
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Posted: March 25 2007 at 4:56pm \| IP Logged

I didn't read the CUF article, but I am sure it covers this. We had a similar situation that an excellent priest advised us about. The situation of an unbaptized man and woman marrying is a marriage of the natural order, as opposed to the sacramental order. You are free to attend from a religious perspective. It is a valid marriage, just not a sacramental one.

As far as all of the other concerns, boy can I sympathize. We have been required...uh...asked to participate in all kinds of weddings.

Weddings these days have become accepted acts of tyranny where the bride and groom get to make demands and everyone must march lockstep to their beat. Anyone who dares to offer concern or complaint is treated as a traitor and saboteur. I would love to tell you to put your foot down and stand firm. We have endured many agonies and frustrations all for the sake of "family unity" that I wish we had been more immovable about.

On the bright side, they are behind us now and we escaped relatively unharmed!

Oh... I totally agree with not letting your girls go without you! I would not move on that issue one bit! You have no idea what kind of conversations could be going on in their presence by people who wouldn't think twice about children overhearing.

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juststartn
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Posted: March 25 2007 at 7:06pm \| IP Logged

Oh, there is NO WAY I am going to let me dds go NEAR this particular sister (the bride) alone. She may be my sister, and she may "mean well" according to my mother, but I don't think so. She's undermined my parenting authority before, has made it BLATANTLY clear she wants/plans to do it again at the first available opporturnity--ain't happenin'.

I don't care. Call me a smother mother. Call me a helicopter....I DON'T CARE!!!!

GRRRR.

Rachel (not feeling well and tired to boot. And I didn't get a chance to ask my priest about this today)

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Patrick
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Posted: March 25 2007 at 10:10pm \| IP Logged

Rachel,
I have to introduce myself again because I don't post on here much, but my name is Patrick and I'm about to graduate with a master degree in theological studies in marriage and family from the John Paul II Institute (so supposedly I have some kind of credibility in these matters).

To start with, natural marriages are in no way bad or sinful. Adam and Eve had one even before they sinned and the Holy Family was a natural marriage too. That means of the four sinless human beings to have entered this world, three of them had a natural marriage. That's not bad company to be in!

One gift that John Paul II gave us in his Theology of the Body is an understanding of how from the very beginning marriage was made to image the relationship of Christ and his Church. This relationship is the basis for the entire sacramental life.

So practically, what does this mean? I think it means that there is no greater way for a person without faith to encounter Christ than through marriage. Somehow the love of their marriage will image the love Christ has for us (but, of course, infinitely less than a sacramental marriage). Hopefully, the love that causes them to want to give themselves away completely and forever to each other will cause them to want to give themselves away completely and forever to Another.

It may help to think of Christ who sanctified the wedding at Cana just by his presence. You obviously carry his presence with you and you can be that witness of holiness at your sister's wedding.

I hope this helps and isn't too confusing!

God bless,
Patrick

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