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Lisbet
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| Posted: March 21 2007 at 10:10am | IP Logged
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I am sitting here with goosebumps on my arms and tears streaming down my face. God works in such wonderous ways.
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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mary theresa
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It has been so amazing and interesting to read this thread!
I hope I turn out just like my mom. 
She and my dad met their senior year of college b/c my mom was wearing a Miraculous Medal (as she still does) and my Dad commented on it.
They both were raised Catholic, though my Dad alot more nominally. They were not really committed Catholics at first in their marriage, but had a reversion of sorts somewhere in the beginning and now they both have really strong prayer lives and are my heros.
They have 9 kids, and one in heaven.
I am really blessed. I can't imagine what some of you all suffer regarding your parents. 
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Mary Theresa
mother to 3 little girls --March '06, Dec '07 and Jan '10
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anniemm
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This has been really eye-opening for me to read...I guess I knew, from some experiences with my family, that parents are sometimes so unsupportive...that must be udderly heartbreaking to endure. I am so inspired by those of you who perservere through those tough relationships.
Here are my answers to the questions:
1) Are your mothers Catholic (and raised in a practicing Catholic family)?
My mother is Catholic, but she didn't grow up Catholic. She converted when she and my father where dating, but not just to marry him. She is a faithful Catholic, but I think still in an early stage of understanding on many teachings. My father is an incredibly faithful and intelligent Catholic (he just recently finished his Masters of Theology through Ave Maria...just for fun).
2) Were they open to life and a large family themselves? My parents were married in the early 80's, had me first and then my brother. After that, they were on birth control for years and years because a priest advised them that it was "ok." When I was in middle school, they had a reconverstion of sorts where we went from attending mass "most of the time" to every week and centering our lives more around the faith. My freshman year in high school, they had the first of my little sisters. Since then, they have gone on to have 3 more little girls, one of which is only 5 months older than my youngest daughter. lol If you do the math, you'll realize my mom and I were pregnant at the same time! It was so strange hahaha. I don't know if they'll have any more, it wouldn't surprise me either way, but I think my mom (who is almost 47) is getting to the age that it'll be harder and harder to concieve. So, yes, my parents are open to life and have been such a wonderful example to me! (Also, this is where I have seen how negatively family can react, with my second younger sister- number 4 of 6 - my grandfather reacted to the pregnancy by saying, "That's crazy! Are you a glutton for punishment?!" It really hurt my mom, and affected how soon she shared her news the next two times.  )
3) Were they divorced? Remarried? My parents have been married for 27 years.
__________________
Andrea
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Wife to Charlie (03)
Mama to four little girls (04), (05), (07), (09),& my 1st little guy 11/11
www.hiswillmypeace.com
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Ruth
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Wow, Andrea, That's an amazing story. You are very blessed indeed. We all hope our families will have a reconversion like your parents did. 
God bless you.
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Ruth
mom to 7 miracles
My family blog
Loreto Rosaries
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Nina Murphy
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Thank you, Andrea! I am so heartened by all of these couples who have been married for so long.
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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juststartn
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Let's see..
I am the only Catholic in my "family of origin" (DH is a cradle Catholic, but I'd say only nominally, sadly). My parents are not very understanding of Catholicism in general (I've tried, and they don't WANT to understand), and particularly not understanding of someone who actually chooses the PRACTICE what they believe in.
I am the oldest of three dds. I know that my mom used ABC (the pill, at least). Dad used to say that they only had three because that was all that they could afford. Mom is now saying that they only had three cause that was all she could stand to have (no difficult pregnancies--its actually the bearing of little people she cannot abide).
My parents have been married for almost 38yrs (this July 5th), never divorced, separated, or anything else.
Now, I am currently pregnant with #s4&5. Kind of a shock to find two in there. My mom was not thrilled to find out we were expecting again, PERIOD, much less the phone call informing her we were going to have TWINS (boys, though, so I guess she figures that after three dds, we're "allowed" to "overdo it" and have twins--ONCE). I have, however, been 'attacked' on various fronts...both before and after our discovery of twins at 21 wks.
I've been told I should "do something"...that I ought to have the doctor's "fix that" while I am on the table (assuming a csec is necessary)...that 5 is "more than enough"...
There's more, but frankly, its just really painful to even think about. My mom was one of two dc--her younger sister was ten yrs younger, and had Down's. My dad is one of two, and somehow on his way out, damaged his mother so badly she never had any more dc, and had a hysterectomy in the 1960s (she was a young mother, though, so had numerous possible years of childbearing ahead of her).
My dad is not so bad. My ILs have yet to say anything negative to me...well, the BILs and SILs. DH is one of 13 dc, his parents are both deceased(he's also almost 10yrs older than I am). Our dc are the youngest of their generation amongst the cousins....Most of DHs brothers and sisters have NO dc. Either because they have not married (no religious or Holy Orders, either), married late, or had tried and had infertility issues.
Out of his 11 living brothers and sisters, we have 11 nieces and nephews (of our dc's generation). We have more dc (counting the ones on the way) than any of his siblings do...even the ones who HAVE dc, the max is 3. And of his family, there are only two that are even nominally practicing Catholics (which is really sad)...including DH. He's informed me "this will be the last"...Admittedly, we have a long time before that even becomes an issue (I'm 27 wks along now, and he deploys in June for a yr long deployment to Iraq. Assuming I breastfeed the twins, then it will be a good 14-15 mos post partum before I probably have to deal with any fertility concerns...and chances are, he's not going to be willing to do anything HIMSELF to avoid another baby...
Frankly, I don't know where folks get off telling me that I shouldn't have the dc I am having, or shouldn't have any more. Are they paying my bills? Are they putting food into my dc's mouths because DH and I can't or won't? Are my dc getting a good solid education? Are they polite, friendly, intelligent, loving, fun-loving, HEALTHY little people? SURE they are.
But I'm already having to explain to my just-turned 7 yr old dd that not everyone is as loving of small babies as we are. And how sad that is. How on earth can I explain this properly? She's asked if my parents are Catholic...to which I responded truthfully, no. She wanted to know why...I told her cause they didn't understand that the Church is THE Church, and that they didn't believe the same things that we do, and that Jesus taught. They (the almost 5 yr old was in on it by now) said that they would pray for their grandparents...and I told them to pray for ALL of the people who weren't Catholic...
Sad I have to do that, but at least they are learning something.
Its really painful, to have one sister divorced, with one son...and praised for her hard work and dedication to her job (not to her son), another sister who is on her second shack up, supposedly getting married this fall, who is praised and prized and treated as if that is what "I" should be like...when I am the one SAHM, really hands-on raising my dc. Who loves their dc to distraction and doesn't think of them as something that "will ruin my figure" (comment quoted from my youngest sister who says that and insists that she is going to adopt, after she takes a look at me)....
I just wish that they would actually heed their own words..."If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all".
Its hard enough to not get full support from society. But when your family tears into you, too (I got ganged up on back at New Years by my mom and youngest sister).....SIGH....
I am SO glad to read of supportive families. We belong to a parish about 45 min away from home, that is far more supportive of larger families (the only indulted TLM in the diocese)...our priest is looking forward to getting to baptize our twins (He said it was his first time to baptize twins, and I said it was my first time with twins too--so we both get to do something new! LOL)....fortunately, we've been able to find support there, for folks willing to live out the Church's direction on family life.
A bastion of hope and a pillar of truth in these troubled times.
Rachel (oh, and if ya'll can please read my post in the prayer forum, I'd appreciate it. Thanks)
__________________
Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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Nina Murphy
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Dear Rachel,
I am so glad you shared your history and your concerns---and I will pray for you. I feel like I know you better and please view all of us as sisters!!! That's what I do.
Do you attend a Fraternity of Saint Peter parish? If so, who is your pastor? Thank God you do----the fact that your husband does is indicative of the softness in his heart.
I am so happy for you with your two boys!!! And don't worry. One of my friends just had another preemie (two in a row) at 29 or 30 weeks, 2 1/2 pounds, and he is beautiful and baptized and doing well, and a wonderful opportunity for the community to pray. Just think of it that way if you can---God has a reason....even though I know you are so worried. I was on bedrest for a long time, too, with #7 and delivered at 32 wks. I was in the hospital a couple of times with #8 but made it all the way through.
Please keep us all posted and if you ever want to talk about feeling ganged up upon, you know whose ears are waiting! 
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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MarieC
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Rachel, my heart breaks for you! I hope your twins bring so much joy to your family that it softens their hearts.
Nina Murphy wrote:
1) Are your mothers Catholic (and raised in a practicing Catholic family)?
2) Were they open to life and a large family themselves?
3) Were they divorced? Remarried? |
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1) My parents were both raised in Catholic homes but I don't think the faith was really imparted to them very well. They attend Mass regularly (always on Sunday...my mom most weekdays) but are certainly in the cafeteria Catholics category. My mom was one of 3 and her parents used ABC (way back in the 40's!); my dad was one of 6 living children (more were conceived but lost)...so his family was bigger than mine but more spread out (18 years youngest to oldest).
2) They were not open to life...my brother and I were born 16 months apart in the early 70's and that was it for our family. My parents were in their early 30's then and my mom's OB cautioned against having babies "too late" in life (he and his wife had had a child with Down's). They used ABC which a priest "OK'd".
When dh and I first starting talking about having children my dad said he'd rather have me have a master's degree than a grandchild . I was pretty much a cafeteria Catholic at that point...I was hurt enough by it then, can't imagine the hurt it would cause at this point in my life.
They think (esp. my dad) I'm going to burn myself out with lots of children and homeschooling. On the upside, they did have a nicer reaction to #5 than #4. My mom would disagree and say they've never been negative, and truthfully I don't suffer nearly as much as many of you, but they just aren't happy and make little comments. Once the baby comes, though, they always treat him or her well. My mom isn't very maternal though...I think she doesn't "get" kids. She didn't spend much time with us growing up....worked and wasn't really that hands on.
3) My parents will celebrate their 39th anniversary this summer.
Thanks, Nina, for starting this thread!
Does anyone ever muse why they are open and their families are not? Certainly, through God's grace...but why did we get that grace when others in our families did not? I often wonder if I didn't because of my godmother's prayers. She's my dad's older sister and the mom of 9...very devout, lovely woman.
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Marie
mom to 6
dds-98, 00, 02 and 09 & dss-03 and 06
Out in the Orchard
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juststartn
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Nina Murphy wrote:
Dear Rachel,
I am so glad you shared your history and your concerns---and I will pray for you. I feel like I know you better and please view all of us as sisters!!! That's what I do.
Do you attend a Fraternity of Saint Peter parish? If so, who is your pastor? Thank God you do----the fact that your husband does is indicative of the softness in his heart.
I am so happy for you with your two boys!!! And don't worry. One of my friends just had another preemie (two in a row) at 29 or 30 weeks, 2 1/2 pounds, and he is beautiful and baptized and doing well, and a wonderful opportunity for the community to pray. Just think of it that way if you can---God has a reason....even though I know you are so worried. I was on bedrest for a long time, too, with #7 and delivered at 32 wks. I was in the hospital a couple of times with #8 but made it all the way through.
Please keep us all posted and if you ever want to talk about feeling ganged up upon, you know whose ears are waiting! |
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No, not an FSSP parish, unfortunately. Altho I do consider it a WONDERFUL sign that the bishop's chaplain is a FSSP priest...our new bishop is a wonderful breath of fresh air compared to the recently retired Bp Gossman....
My priest is a WONDERFUL example of faithful priests...he does a TLM on Sun afternoons, but the other masses are NO...but you know that they are done RIGHT. No liturgical monkey business. Its a wonderful thing, to attend a parish so tenaciously sticking to the truth. Its a long drive, and honestly, DH would rather go to a closer parish (we literally have a good 5 possibilities within a 20 min drive...), less inconvenient, less of a drive, etc. But I insist. You know, the dig in the heels and say "I am going there" kind of stubborn thing? Where he doesn't care as much as I do, so he goes along?
But its nice to have places like this where likeminded ladies can chat--cause its really hard to find people IRL....
Rachel
__________________
Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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Anne McD
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Fuzzy and Jenn, I'm so confused-- are you related to Theresa?
"Fuzzy" can't be that common a name! 
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Anne
Wife to Jon
Mommy to Alex 9
James 8
Katie 6
William 3 1/2
Benedict Joseph 1
and baby on the way! 10/14
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Ruth
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Ruth wrote:
I wonder how we were able to escape the culture of death, in which we were raised. I'm sure, by the grace of God.
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MarieC wrote:
| Does anyone ever muse why they are open and their families are not? Certainly, through God's grace...but why did we get that grace when others in our families did not? I often wonder if I didn't because of my godmother's prayers. She's my dad's older sister and the mom of 9...very devout, lovely woman. |
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Really, I'm still wondering about this. All 5 of our sibblings are pro-choice, most of them have been sterilized  and and both sets of parents have not been happy about the last 3 children.
I think about our children. Will they be open to life? Will our families' reactions be an influence on them?
God bless.
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Ruth
mom to 7 miracles
My family blog
Loreto Rosaries
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Alice R
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aussieannie wrote:
You really know it is a culture of death when the loved ones who live fairly normal, respectable lives can have such a deep animosity to new life - an immortal soul. 
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WELL SAID!
I'm going to write that down.
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Mom to Nathaniel (10), Noah (8) Alise (6) Rebekah (3)and expecting another blessing Faith, Grace and Family
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Servant2theKing
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The threads on mothers' reactions to daughters' pregnancies are SUCH a sad reflection of the anti-life mentality our own mothers and grandmothers, their peers and our own peers have been indoctrinated with for decades. Women have been surrounded by negative perceptions of bringing new life into the world for much longer than we realize...it is no wonder SO many of you have experienced such heartbreaking reactions to your own pregnancies.
This board offers us the blessed opportunity to impact the tides of opinions regarding pregancy and new life for our own daughters and sons....we are being called to change the views of life our children and grandchildren will reflect to future generations! Keep encouraging one another and rejoice in your maternity ladies. Let your children witness the blessedness of bringing forth new life and help them foster a view of pregnancy and childbearing that will counteract the anti-life culture which is responsible for the negativity you have experienced.
Pray, pray, pray for those who have been so tragically deceived and misled during their own childbearing years! If we shed tears of grief over this tragedy, imagine the tears Heaven pours forth over this heartwrenching subject.
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All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
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JennGM
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Anne McD wrote:
Fuzzy and Jenn, I'm so confused-- are you related to Theresa?
"Fuzzy" can't be that common a name! |
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Fuzzy, Jenn, and Celeste are all related to Theresa N.! There are 5 sisters.
You're right...there's only one "Fuzzy"!
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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JennGM
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JennGM wrote:
Anne McD wrote:
Fuzzy and Jenn, I'm so confused-- are you related to Theresa?
"Fuzzy" can't be that common a name! |
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Fuzzy, Jenn, and Celeste are all related to Theresa N.! There are 5 sisters.
You're right...there's only one "Fuzzy"! |
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I should add the question of how do you know Theresa? Are you or your dh a graduate from FUS? Does your dh happen to teach at Chantilly?
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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aussieannie
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JennGM wrote:
| Fuzzy, Jenn, and Celeste are all related to Theresa N.! There are 5 sisters. |
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That is just super!  What a blessed family ~ what a testament to your mum Jenn, when you talk about her installing a love of really living the liturgical year ~ it makes me think of Elizabeth's wonderful writing about Cay's Catholic Mosaic, it is like establishing a 'heartbeat' that your children will never forget, your children will naturally feel the desire to live their rich faith in their adult lives...
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Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!
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humanaevitae
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My mom was 1 of 5 and went through Catholic school. My dad was raised Luthern (Wisc. synod) and was 1 of 11 kids. He "converted" to Catholicism when I had my First Communion. They describe themselves as a Christian cake with Catholic frosting.
They had 5 kids and used NFP which they said they were terrible at and contracepted. They have been married 31 years and are quite happy.
They want to be supportive but think we should be finished. They earned my meek husband's wrath when Mom suggested I use ABC for awhile when we first got married.
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Nicole-Zane 10, Elizabeth 7, Xavier 4, and John Patrick 2
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Anne McD
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JennGM wrote:
| I should add the question of how do you know Theresa? Are you or your dh a graduate from FUS? Does your dh happen to teach at Chantilly? |
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My husband went to high school with Theresa, and I got to know her through a mom's group when my oldest was a baby-- please tell her I said hi-- I haven't seen her in ages! I remember she is so sweet and cheerful!
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Anne
Wife to Jon
Mommy to Alex 9
James 8
Katie 6
William 3 1/2
Benedict Joseph 1
and baby on the way! 10/14
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mairejam5
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1) Are your mothers Catholic (and raised in a practicing Catholic family)?
My mother is Catholic and raised in a practicing Catholic family.
2) Were they open to life and a large family themselves?
YES! I am one of six and they never tried to avoid a pregnancy. My grandmother was one of twelve and she ended up with three live children and a bunch of miscarriages. Of her siblings who had children, most had 6 to 8 kids. My mom always wanted more siblings. My Dad came from a horrible family, who did go to Mass on Sundays, though, and had decided he wanted something better so he became a devout Catholic and purposefully chose to be open to the children God sent.
3) Were they divorced? Remarried? Never. They were married until my father's death from colon cancer just a little time after their 25th anniversary.
They had a sometimes hard (due to the patterns my father learned in his family, though he worked hard and successfully broke them)but otherwise very beautiful marriage. I am sooo blessed.
Although I have had some health problems that have made it difficult for my mother to simply rejoice when I get pregnant, her worry had been more for me that I not have a difficult time during the pregnancy and otherwise she is very happy about the children.
now I am nak...
My mil is a different story.
She was raised nominally Catholic, just her and her sister. She married a guy she'd known for two weeks. He was a drug addict. She stayed with him ten years and had three kids and (I think) a tubal before she left him. There's much more to the story, but suffice it to say that there is much divorce and shacking up going on in myhusband's family. My husband converted and is now the black sheep of the family. They were pretty happy with our first baby because it was the first grandbaby AND a boy. I think they would have stayed happy if he had been "it" whether or not dh and I stayed together. When we told them we were preg with #2 my mil hunched over and turned grey as if we had punched her in the stomach. My sil told us we better never have another kid becuase if we ever did she wouldn't help us out at all ever again (my dh was apprenticing with his cousin and we were not making very much money at the time, so the il were helping us out here and there). I shrugged unconcernedly and said, "That's fine." By the time we had #3we had moved across the country. My mil just said, "Well, I guess that's what you wanted. You really need to think about Maire's health, though." Her reaction to #4 was eqally mild on the phone, but when we went out to visit during that pregnancy, any mention of it was met with a slightly uncomfortbale look and maybe a polite comment or two before the subject was quickly changed. #5's comment was even more resigned... I think she is getting the hint. :) I also think that she is gettin an idea that we may actually stay together nad she won't be the one raising all these kids (when bil's son comes to visit, she does most of the work) AND she sees that I am a good mom and that these grandkids are having a happy life, even if devoid of all the STUFF. So, she's getting alittle better. :)
Maire
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Kathryn UK
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(1) No, my mother is not Catholic. She used to be Methodist (as was my Dad) but later joined the Church of England. She has a theology degree, is a lay preacher and is also involved in training lay ministers and non-stipendiary Anglican priests.
(2) I doubt my parents would have been totally open to life (no tradition of that in their churches), but they lost four babies after me - three in the second trimester (two early and one late) and one premature baby boy who survived for a few days. After that they were advised to avoid pregnancy and my mother subsequently had a hysterectomy on medical grounds. My only living sibling is an adopted brother.
(3) My parents never divorced, but separated after more than twenty years of marriage and continued to live separately until my father died.
I left it to my dh to tell my mother about our new little one, not because I was afraid she would be negative about the prospect of a new life, but because I knew she would be very anxious due to my age - understandably given her own history. I suspect she would initially have reacted negatively to pregnancies if we had been blessed with a large family because it would have been outside her experience, but would have come round once she got used to the idea. I certainly can't imagine her thinking that "things" were more important than children.
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Kathryn
Dh Michael,  Rachel(3/95) Hannah(8/98) Naomi(6/06)  (11/07)
The Bookworm
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Based on Ruth's thread---mother reactions
