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Sherry
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| Posted: March 20 2007 at 10:41pm | IP Logged
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Dear Ladies,
Yes, I have 2 blogs actually. I asked some probing questions earlier on this forum because I am trying to elicit the help of my son to start a full-blown site dedicated to helping large families. Here are the current addresses:
This is my older one.
This is my current one.
I will try and write an entry on blogspot about the rules soon.
Pregnancy: I would like to compare notes with those ladies, too!
For me, the morning sickness has been just as yuchhy for the last 16 pregnancies (I lost 2 last year). The deliveries are much easier, although longer until they actually get serious. The pushing is easier in some ways.
The recovery was initially quite easy, but I have scholiosis, so I am beginning to feel it a little in my pelvis, but it is not unlivable, 4 months later and I am literally chasing my kids around the yard and enjoy lots of good walking--very important. Our house has two flights of stairs, and I am up and down them all day as well (I don't ride a bicycle well, though--don't know why)n. My weight has changed only slightly along the way.
I have good muscle tone in my tummy, etc., although I do work at maintenance with a simple exercise program at home. I have inherited a tendency towards stretch marks, but this too is not like some of the horrific stories my relatives tried to scare me with years ago (so glad I didn't listen).
My body bears the marks of childbearing, but I am neither unhealthy or unattractive because of it (my OB confirms this). I feel as though I need to say these things because these are the things I wondered not too long ago.
The burning question--knowing what I know now, would I still have 14 children--yes, it's well worth it.
Sherry
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Martha
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| Posted: March 21 2007 at 8:37am | IP Logged
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LOL Sherry! I know what you mean by feeling you have to say those things. Having children does not equal worn our ragged body of a woman! And I can't imagine not having some tone running after these 8 kids, you must be like a professional athlete after 15! I'm moving into a house with stairs and I told my dh I was hoping for some temporal benefit to all time I'll spend going up and down those stairs to give some spiritual correcting. 
I'd like to know how you stock your pantry?! Can a mom with 15 ever have a stocked pantry? How do you adjust during the teens years? Did you homeschool through graduation? How do you and your dh work to make sure your marriage doesn't dissolve into nothing more in common than debt and diapers? IOW, what did you do to stay connected in those early years when all of them were little?
Oh! Do you live in Oklahoma?! 
Okay, that's a start to my questions at least.
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Martha
mama to 7 boys & 4 girls
Yes, they're all ours!
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Lisbet
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| Posted: March 21 2007 at 10:06am | IP Logged
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Martha, you crack me up! :)  Good questions!
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: March 21 2007 at 1:26pm | IP Logged
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Martha,
---------------------------------
Sherry, seriously: I'm waiting with Martha with bated breath for the answers......
Do you mind me asking how old you are? When do you tend to return to fertility after childbirth? What are the spaces betw. your children? Do you nurse? How long? Did you tandem nurse? How DO you conceive so often? (There's the marriage relationship-romance question, Martha.)
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Sherry
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| Posted: March 21 2007 at 8:31pm | IP Logged
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Pantry--I stock it once a month in a big way--there is hardly enough room in our kitchen. But it gets eaten pretty quickly. I have a set budget of about $1000 a month, so I spend about $600 of it in one day at the beginning (we make the rounds of about 3 stores), and then restock as the month wears on--you can only fit 6 gallons of milk in a fridge at a time, and we tend to drink about 30 gallons a month. For more on my pantry, check out my posts on my Old Blog.
I tend to breastfeed exclusively--I was just realizing the other day that I don't even own a baby bottle--I should buy one just in case, although my baby is 4mo and hasn't needed one yet--and is quite chubby. There were only 2 babies that didn't get a full year of breastfeeding, my first and my 4th--different reasons.
Fertility--it returns when it returns, that one is up to God. I haven't tried to interfere with that for many years.
Marriage relationship--I happen to have a very, extremely romantic husband--he makes our relationship a priority--and, he does tend to chase me night and day--just thought I'd throw that in because everyone assumes that--hee,hee.
When the kids were younger, it was a little harder, but we just have always loved spending time together, even just going to the grocery store together. As soon as there was someone old enough to watch the others for about a half an hour, we would go to get milk and cherish the moments! Of course, the kids were always on our minds, and we often found ourselves talking about them and returning early.
It is interesting to note that, as the children have gotten older, our time together out is even more precious--even though we always bring the youngest one with us. We do errands, etc. and just enjoy life.
We both came from some really rough family situations, so we are especially dedicated to our family--this helps keep us focussed and cemented--of course our faith in Jesus Christ is paramount and of the greatest priority in all of this.
One thing I have learned over the years is that, whenever and however possible, I take care of my husband's physical needs (wink, wink)--this is the most meaningful way I can say "I love you", and he also tries to meet my needs for affection, admiration and provision. Although I don't wholeheartedly endorse everything she says, Dr. Laura Schlessinger's books have helped open my eyes about meeting his needs and then gaining a more joyful, fulfilling marriage. Hope I'm answering some of what you are thinking.
Homeschooling--we have never had our children in ps, except to fix their computers! We have 3 with associates degrees in graphic/multimedia design, one works for Focus on the Family and is assigned to the Brio magazine, one has his own business, and one is working on our 2nd grandbaby!
Actually, there isn't enough money in the whole world to make it worthwhile to send my children to high school--those are such tender, formative ages, and there are so many better opportunities for expanding their horizons when they aren't wasting their time being brainwashed.
Btw, I'm 42 and our oldest is 23.5 and our youngest is 4mo (and we have 14,not 15)--I haven't done the math on the average spacing, but the last few babies it has been about 2 years apart.
I am enjoying answering these questions because I hope God can use some little tidbit here to help and encourage you. Please keep in mind that God has been my strength and has blessed my feeble efforts abundantly. I am standing here today through His grace, having seen Him do so many miracles over the years. Each precious child just gives us more reasons to trust Him, and more reasons to need His changing power in our lives.
Time to fold laundry--
Sherry
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: March 22 2007 at 1:23pm | IP Logged
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So exceeded my dream answer, Sherry!
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: March 22 2007 at 1:26pm | IP Logged
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Sherry wrote:
We both came from some really rough family situations, so we are especially dedicated to our family--this helps keep us focussed and cemented--of course our faith in Jesus Christ is paramount and of the greatest priority in all of this.
One thing I have learned over the years is that, whenever and however possible, I take care of my husband's physical needs (wink, wink)--this is the most meaningful way I can say "I love you", and he also tries to meet my needs for affection, admiration and provision. Although I don't wholeheartedly endorse everything she says, Dr. Laura Schlessinger's books have helped open my eyes about meeting his needs and then gaining a more joyful, fulfilling marriage. Hope I'm answering some of what you are thinking.
Sherry |
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SO me, too----- perfectly expressed.
A priest told me to read The Care and Feeding of Husbands in the Confessional and I was shocked that he was suggesting Dr. Laura....but my husband was SO GLAD.
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Maria B.
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| Posted: March 22 2007 at 4:18pm | IP Logged
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Sherry, I could pick your brain for hours!! You sound so relaxed and at peace. I admire that. How do you maintain peace at home and avoid chaos? I am not referring to bad behavior, but just all the constant coming and going, family events, doctor appts., etc., not to mention school work!
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Maria in VA
Proud Mom to 10 Great kids!
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Dawnie
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| Posted: March 22 2007 at 9:18pm | IP Logged
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Sherry wrote:
| My body bears the marks of childbearing, but I am neither unhealthy or unattractive because of it (my OB confirms this). I feel as though I need to say these things because these are the things I wondered not too long ago. |
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I've found that I get MORE motivated the more children we have to take care of myself by eating right and exercising. Not because I want to look like I've never had children, but because I want to be ready for the next pregnancy!
So I'll never wear a two-piece bathing suit. That's okay. I just want to be healthy and fit so I can keep up with my kids!
Dawn
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Mom to Mary Beth (99), Anna (02), Lucia (04), Clara (06), and Adelaide Victoria (2/28/09)
Visit my blog!Water Into Wine:Vino Per Tutto!
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Sherry
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| Posted: March 23 2007 at 9:57am | IP Logged
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Peace--that commodity that cannot be bought. This is a miracle that only God can do--it is first found by the realization that Christ's death paid the total penalty for sin and that we can have peace with God. This opens the door for faith that He is able to keep us, no matter what (Romans 8).
It occurs to me that chaos is just part of the picture, but that it doesn't need to be a way of life. There are days and weeks when everything can be crazy, but usually this is due to a lack of trust that God is taking care of things so that I feel I have to carry the load myself! This is when what I call my "wicked witch" comes out--I start strategizing and foisting all sorts of things on myself and everyone else.
Most of the time I rest and trust. I have lists of things to do--but if I am wise I turn those into a prayer list, and ask that God will enable me to get them done. Then I listen to the Holy Spirit as to when and how.
One very important thing that I have learned is that I am not a high-energy person and don't function well with a lot of outside activities planned. We don't do a lot of extra-curriculars. Wherever possible, it is family, family, family. This is very counter to our current culture that expects children to be involved in so much--but I am not trying to be everything to my kids; my job is simply to lay a secure foundation. I know that I can't do that if I am running around trying to fulfill everyone else's expectations of what I should be doing.
As far as doc appts--I'm a more natural med-type person. We don't immunize and take care of most common maladies in natural ways. I am not anti-doctor, just not doctor dependent. I don't do well-child checkups, either, as I got tired years ago of taking them in "well", only to bring them home with something they caught at the office!
As far as schoolwork is concerned, I don't overwork it. Lots of what a child needs to learn is done easily and naturally through simple conversation, and so we have a planned group conversation every morning. I have things that I bring to this conversation that spark other thoughts and ideas, and than we're off and running and there's no telling where we will end up--all peering intently at a wall map or in the middle of a whole bunch of opened books or with 20 tabs open on our internet browser.
As far as reading, this is an issue that I most agree with the Moores--every child has his/her own timetable. I have pushed, prodded and shoved before, but I have learned that the best way is to give the child the tools of understanding (phonics) and then allow them to flow--even if that means waiting past "the age" when they are expected to read. We read lots of literature aloud, of course--this is some of our most precious time together. Copywork and journaling are also part of this idea. The older children are aloud to pick and choose what they want to study, with a few suggestions from me, but not too many. Kids who grow up like this naturally want to study and learn--I have seen it happen too many times to doubt it.
As for math--we do it in spurts. Kids just aren't all able to function with it the same. Lord willing, we are going to have a "math summer"--starting the morning out with math drills, playing board games, etc. and then playing outside the rest of the day. I read somewhere once that a child needs to concentrate on one thing at a time in order to take it in and make it part of his own thought processes. I have loved the simple homework booklets by Instructional Fair over the years (they have changed the name of their company, though). With a few exceptions, my kids love math.
Time for one of those "conversations".
Sherry
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: March 23 2007 at 2:18pm | IP Logged
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I just wanted to thank you again, Sherry. I have really benefited spiritually (and emotionally through smiling and an uplifted mood) by reading your contributions to this thread. So many people FEAR and are aghast at the thought of a life with 14 or 15 children...it is important for those who are living it to speak out and witness to it.
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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Anne McD
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| Posted: March 25 2007 at 10:06pm | IP Logged
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This has been beautiful to read, Sherry-- thank you for the inspiration, as we're still expanding our little flock!
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Anne
Wife to Jon
Mommy to Alex 9
James 8
Katie 6
William 3 1/2
Benedict Joseph 1
and baby on the way! 10/14
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wifemommy
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| Posted: March 25 2007 at 10:28pm | IP Logged
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Thank you so much. I wish you could write a book in your spare time Annie
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: We have 15 children
