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Patty
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| Posted: July 28 2005 at 8:29pm | IP Logged
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I struggle with this off and on...I'm 44 and the youngest of our seven is five years old. FIVE! How did that happen??? I won't have ANY babies or preschoolers this coming school year for the first time in our homeschooling, and this is our fourteenth year. It will be so strange. My little boy is a Big Kindergartner. He's so cute, so full of life, but I miss those wobbly steps, babbling words, and chubby cheeks. 
And yet...I do also enjoy the other stages of childhood and young adulthood. (Our oldest dd is 21.) It's just not the same.
I know it *could* happen, but my cycles are getting further apart and besides, after our youngest was born I had a very serious large blood clot in my left thigh which left permanent circulation damage and so we've been trying to avoid fertile times. Sigh.
It just helps to talk about it. Anyone else going/already gone through this?
God bless,
Patty
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Donna
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| Posted: July 28 2005 at 8:50pm | IP Logged
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Dear Patty,
Oh, how I can relate. I, too, am 44 and so miss having a wee one in the house. Our baby Jacob, who was 34 weeks gestation, passed away 8 months ago and so my 6 year old is the youngest here at home. I've had 7 C-sections and wonder if it is prudent to even try to conceive again. So many doctors are amazed when I tell them I've had 7 C-Sections.....they've never heard of such a thing !!!
Each time I find myself longing for a baby, I ask the Lord to fill my thoughts, instead, with thoughts of Him so that I might draw closer to Him and to knowing His Will. It is difficult for me at times to discern God's Will.
I'll keep you in my prayers as we go through these tough days together.
Blessings,
__________________
Donna
DH, Keven
Jason, Stevie, Marie, Jackson, Clara, and Aaron
Jacob, Sam, and Regina with God
Grandbabies Leigha and Elsie
Moments Like These
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Elizabeth
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Real Learning
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| Posted: July 28 2005 at 9:02pm | IP Logged
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Oh gosh...I just spent twelve hours in the car, retrieving my son from basketball camp. I started out at 6:00 this morning, after discovering that it is yet again Cycle Day 1 . I pretty much had a good cry all the way there. I weaned my baby (who's nearly three) at the start of this month, so this is really and truly the first time I've felt like it's all over--no new babies, no nusring babies. Just me--and I'm reinventing myself, it seems. I had it all out of my system by the time my son joined me in the car.And now I'm ready to start the cycle of hope (and then disappointment?) all over again. I've no wisdom or insight to offer you two. Just, I understand.
__________________
Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Patty
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| Posted: July 28 2005 at 10:58pm | IP Logged
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{{{Donna}}}
I'm so very sorry to read about the loss of your precious baby Jacob. May God grant you healing and peace.
Donna wrote:
Each time I find myself longing for a baby, I ask the Lord to fill my thoughts, instead, with thoughts of Him so that I might draw closer to Him and to knowing His Will. It is difficult for me at times to discern God's Will.
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This was beautiful! Thanks for writing that. (I tried to insert a quote from your message...I hope it works.)
God bless,
Patty
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Patty
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| Posted: July 28 2005 at 11:06pm | IP Logged
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Elizabeth,
I am sorry for your sadness. I suppose we all know that having babies will come to an end. SOMEONE will be the youngest eventually, and they will all grow up. It just seems to have gone by so quickly! I suppose, when you think about it, all of life does. A few decades is a drop in an ocean compared to eternity. But treading around here on earth I forget that.
Still...it was so wonderful to feel those kicks and squirms inside, to see siblings' faces light up when we told them the news, to feel those soft newborn heads, to nurse them and rock them, hear them coo.
I *so* look forward to grandchildren, but our oldest daughter has received a call to be a Little Sister of the Poor and our second oldest is in seminary college. Oldest dd teases me that we may not have any grandchildren! I say we have a good chance.
I just wish I knew how to gracefully transition from one phase of life to the next. Perhaps we're supposed to learn from the struggle.
God bless,
Patty
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Leonie
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| Posted: July 29 2005 at 1:02am | IP Logged
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This is something I still struggle with - my last living baby was born when I was 36. Since then ( nine years later) I have had miscarriages - and so my
youngest is nine! How did that happen???
I never give up hope  but I also hope that I am learning to transition - the graceful part is still coming to me.
Right now I am re-readimg several of the Chalet School series and I am using Jo ( mum of ten) as a role model for this stage.
I always turn to fiction in my needs. 
Leonie in Sydney
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: July 29 2005 at 7:32am | IP Logged
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I am only 35 and it seems impossible to think that I could be done. As the months pass, I have started to wonder though.
My mother has always told me that I would "know" when last one came and it was time to move on. She had seven and was comfortable with the knowledge that there weren't going to be any more. And she was only 38.
But I hear so many women, mothers of families both large and small, who have so much trouble of this reality. And I never imagined "trying" for another baby when I literally have my hands full with six. My husband, while always open to life, doesn't quite understand. I am not sure I do either. The outside world is really puzzled!
I went through a time after Kateri was born (she'll be 2 on Aug 15) when I really felt "done". I looked forward to not carrying a diaper bag and getting thin and staying that way, etc. But now "done" seems so final and different. Mothering and babies are such an innate part of me, I guess it will just hard to adjust my focus.
I will pray for you all.
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Bridget
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| Posted: July 29 2005 at 8:15am | IP Logged
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Oh, this thread came at a good time for me! I am tired of feeling so large and having end of pregnancy aches and pains. I'm getting over whelmed with my toddlers and their messes. I'm just too big to move fast and keep up with them.
But they will all be older one day. This could be my last baby. It's going to be so painful when that day comes. I'll be wishing for these days.
Reading all your posts has helped me relax for today and enjoy where we are right now.
I will offer up my discomforts for all of you.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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Patty
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| Posted: July 29 2005 at 3:56pm | IP Logged
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Bridget, how well I remember the discomfort during the last few weeks of waiting for baby's arrival. May God grant you a safe delivery and healthy baby. Thank you for offering up your aches and pains for us. Give that baby a snuggle for me when he/she gets here, and treasure those swiftly passing baby days!
Patty
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mumofsix
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Whilst there is sadness in a much-loved phase of life coming to an end, I think it is essential to focus on the now. How sad it would be if in five or ten years' time, we were to look back and see that we had somewhat neglected our wonderful existing children, or simply not enjoyed them as much as we could have done, because we were immersed in grief for the end of the baby phase? I find that the best way to do this is to cultivate a sense of profound gratitude for the six I have, frequently thanking God for them with all my heart.
Our sons and daughters will remain our sons and daughters for the whole of life and into eternity, and every step along the way is wonderful. No more babies means that we can focus more closely on those already here, which is a good thing, especially if that is clearly God's will for our families at this time.
On another note, if you STILL feel that God is calling you to further babies despite apparent infertility, I was approved to adopt baby #5 at age 46 and baby #6 at age 49 (and in the tough British system), so you spring chickens have PLENTY of time to add to your families this way, should that be the plan!
Jane (still cuddling a baby girl and toddler boy, but knowing that these two are the last).
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Meredith
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Jane, that was so beautifully said. I am 40 this year and have 4 beautiful children (the 4th born just 3 mos. ago and it's already going by too fast )and don't know if there will be anymore at this point. I am going to log your bits of wisdom on this away for when the time comes to really *know* if this was the last for me. God Bless you and your family and thanks for sharing.
My prayers are with all of the women here, motherhood is such a strong bond for friendship.
__________________
Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
Sweetness and Light
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fivemkids
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| Posted: July 30 2005 at 11:19am | IP Logged
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Hi. I usually lurk on the boards but this topic is happening to me now. I'm 38 and was recently diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. My dr. says it's not considered menopause because occasionaly the ovaries do function but for the most part they're shut down. My youngest is 2 1/2 and sometimes it's hard to realize he's probably the last. But other times life is such a challenge dealing with teenagers and toddlers that I don't have time to mourn.
I wanted to say that I am inspired by those of you who have so many and are able to keep above water. (Most of my time seems to be spent treading it!). I will pray for you all at this time in your lives that God will bring you the peace of mind to deal with your situations.
Mary
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Mary
Mom of Megan(14)Monica(12)Morgan(9)Michael(4)Matthew(2)
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Kelly
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| Posted: July 31 2005 at 5:45pm | IP Logged
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I opened up this thread and started crying. I turn 46 this year and my youngest is 3. Although I keep hoping for another baby---or a set of twins ---my cycles are getting more and more erratic and I suspect that my youngest might be the last baby. And I *love* being pregnant and having babies! It really makes me weep. Thank you all for all the things you've written. I appreciate Elizabeth's comment about feeling like you have to reinvent yourself as your babies grow up. How true. It's nice knowing that I'm not the only one wrestling with these emotions that are so at odds with those embraced by most of society---people keep telling me I'm crazy to want more babies when we already have half a dozen!
Kelly, blessed with a wonderful family, but still a little sniffly in FL
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: When Childbearing Ends
