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mom2mpr
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| Posted: July 11 2016 at 7:32pm | IP Logged
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So, it has been quiet here on the boards.....I think kids are growing up?
Mine are.
Graduated ds this May, he is off to college. Yay!! totally homeschooled, I made his transcript, it nearly killed me  , he got accepted at 7/8 schools he applied too, but he is gone, a 10 plus hour drive from home and leaving in the next few weeks.....can I cry now?
Dd is still home. We were a small family, and now we are smaller. There is going to be a huge void and lot's of adjustment. Dd is REALLY going to miss her big brother. I am so sad for her. Dh is just crushed and lost and doesn't know what to do without his son around. Me, I am trying to figure out how to help them all....oh, ds? who is leaving?....yeah, he is fine.....
So, if any older, wiser moms have ideas to help my little family navigate this HUGE change/loss I am all ears......
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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guitarnan
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| Posted: July 11 2016 at 11:48pm | IP Logged
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Everything is temporary during the college years, we have found. DS went to community college for two years, applied to one (!) transfer school, spent two years boarding with our friends in the Midwest and is now home again as he works toward a permanent job situation. DD is heading into Year 2 at community college, applying to transfer schools and trying to figure out how to pay for grad school afterward (hopefully without crippling student loan debt).
It is totally okay to feel sad because your child has left the nest. Tears, anxiety, fear - all normal. It is also normal for college students to wave goodbye and head off to school with a smile.
The reality - it's not over until it's over. We had to cope with car windows broken by pranksters (sorry, Son, you have to stay home and get a police report...send your prof a note...), last-ditch coaching (you can't fail this course twice...here's what you need to do - with accompanying phone calls, texts, and student loan requirements, since we did not feel that we had to pay for failing grades resulting from lack of effort), unusual course selections (good by me...I took UCLA's first-ever course on the Japanese Tea Ceremony) and more.
It will work. He'll flounder, thrive, wonder, question and flourish, sometimes simultaneously. You will all be okay without him. Texts, email and photo sharing will help.
Now's the time to find a way to connect your husband's interests with your daughter's. Expect that if you can facilitate that connection, you might find yourself left out. (At my house, DH and DD bond over anime and manga...not my thing.)
One more thought...at the end of the day, you and your husband will be empty nesters, so finding or building upon common interests now will help you later when all of your children are on their own. I've watched my parents carefully for many years, and they have found many ways to do the things they truly enjoy (especially travel!) with their children and grandchildren.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: July 12 2016 at 9:44am | IP Logged
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Nancy, I knew you would have this 
Thank you for your coaching and words of wisdom. And humor.
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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Erica Sanchez
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| Posted: July 12 2016 at 7:21pm | IP Logged
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I have too many littles at home yet so can't give advice on the empty nest thing. Nancy gives great advice!
For me, I was so happy to see our oldest homeschooled her whole life daughter go off to college and so comfortable with where she was (is), that I had total peace. We missed her, of course, but we communicated a lot by texting. Almost a daily check-in even if just to say she loved us. It was/is nice.
It's been interesting having her back at home for breaks (three years now). She has opinions and has to adjust to living with a bunch of people. Overall she is delightful, but I find myself reminding myself that I was once that young lady coming home from college too.
Our third will be applying at the end of the summer. I won't have as much peace with him leaving. He's just a different kid than the first two. He is bright, but I think he will be a school of hard knocks guy. We'll see.
It will be okay, Anne! I laughed at the part about your son being fine. That seems totally normal.
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: July 13 2016 at 2:34pm | IP Logged
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I'm with Erica.. too many younger kids to be looking at an empty nest.
I had an early introduction though. My oldest son spent the last two summers living 5 hours from home.. when he was 15 and again when he was 16. He was at scout camp so they did have some supervision but he not only did ok, he excelled at functioning more or less on his own and did a great job at his job. Every time we're around people who worked with him all we hear is good things.. from the director of the camp down to his direct supervisor and the other kids he worked with.
And now my oldest daughter is off to culinary school this fall. And she'll be around 8-10 hrs away. She purposely chose to be far enough away that she wouldn't be tempted to run home every weekend but will instead work her way into the local community.. make local friends, go to Church there etc.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Nest Emptying.....
