Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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MacBeth
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Posted: March 24 2006 at 12:09pm | IP Logged Quote MacBeth

Molly Smith wrote:
Here's a point a dear friend of mine made to me yesterday, and I'll be curious to hear comments here. She knows two girls from her prior parish who are really called to a vocation and truly want to serve God by serving at Mass. There aren't many opportunities for girls to participate at Mass--ushering is about it. And there aren't many convents nearby or religious sisters in our parishes, so how to we foster a vocation in these very called girls? I know that's a different point from just allowing girls in general to serve, so feel free to move it to a new thread.


I did!

So, how do our girls serve in our parishes? What are the ways in which our parishes can encourage and nurture vocations?

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Posted: March 24 2006 at 1:07pm | IP Logged Quote Donna

MacBeth wrote:
So, how do our girls serve in our parishes? What are the ways in which our parishes can encourage and nurture vocations?


Young girls can help set up a food pantry within their parish and help distribute food to shelters or the homeless.

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Posted: March 24 2006 at 1:09pm | IP Logged Quote Donna

Or...start a gathering of girls to pray the rosary one Saturday a month, in the church, for the unborn.

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Posted: March 24 2006 at 2:09pm | IP Logged Quote Mary G

Any or all of the traditional female roles of nurturing and homemaking can be translated into a job at the Church. They can also often help with altar guild, compiling information for the bulletin/newsletter, help organize babysitting during Mass, run the after Mass social hour (coffee, donuts, etc). Knitting, sewing or crocheting things for Birthright or other prolife ministries.

Just a few thoughts.....

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Posted: March 24 2006 at 4:58pm | IP Logged Quote Christine

I wanted to be a nun from the time I was 8 years old. It was only once I met my husband that I realized God had other plans for me.

I was drawn to the religious life by reading and listening to books about the saints and watching old Catholic movies that portrayed nuns in a very positive light. My parents nurtured a love for the Faith by praying the Rosary with us each night and whenever we drove any distance (we prayed our way across the United States, as we looked for a place to settle after immigrating here). We assisted (i.e. went to Mass) at daily Mass, often. We attended Christmas Eve midnight Mass and all of the Masses and services related to the Triduum and Easter ~ doing so, made a lasting impression on me. I saw my mom lovingly and carefully iron the altar linens. I noticed another Mother lovingly change the statue of the Infant of Prague's garments. I was encouraged to volunteer and eventually coordinate volunteering at a developmental center during college (I got to work with a wonderful and holy priest). We lived a life that was faithful to the Magisterium of the Catholic Church. The only time I heard my parents speak negatively about a priest, they apologized for doing so and switched to an orthodox parish. Finally, once we were all grown, my parents dedicated themselves to serving the Church. As a result, my mom had 5 priests concelebrate her funeral Mass (we didn't ask, they insisted).

How do we foster vocations in girls?
1. Follow the teachings of the Magisterium of the Catholic Church.
2. Live the Faith as best we can.
3. Always speak positively about priests and religious (pray for them often).
4. Involve our children in parish life (i.e. assist at Mass regularly, go to the coffee hour, enroll our children in the parish catechism program if it is sound).
5. If you do not have religious around where you live, have your children write to religious communities (the Mother Superior at the monastery my daughter writes to always responds very nicely).
6. Give your children a variety of books to read on the saints (or read them to your children).
7. Look for volunteer opportunities. Our pastor posts requests in the bulletin when he needs help cleaning the Church and the grounds. Volunteering at soup kitchens or nursing homes is also a good idea.
8. Have your daughters join a Little Flowers Girls' club. More than one of the girls in our group has expressed a desire to become a nun.
9. Honor the most perfect example of femininity and submission to God's will ~ our Blessed Mother.
10. Pray that God's will be done in your children's lives.

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Posted: March 25 2006 at 8:44pm | IP Logged Quote alicegunther

My own four daughters are active in the children's choir, with the older two serving as junior lectors. (I have been a lector since the age of thirteen, so it is very meaningful to me to watch them carry on this tradition.) Each year, they are involved in the Christmas and Easter Pageants, and it is beautiful to see how the happy memories created through these activities have made them understand the joy of serving our parish.

I am glad to be discussing ways our daughters can devote themselves to service of the Church. Activities that can be shared by mothers and daughters would be especially appealing to consider, because time spent with them is always a joy.

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Posted: March 25 2006 at 8:56pm | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

My Daughter just joined the Junior Catholic Daughters of America at our church. It is a brand new group here, so we will see how it goes. She also participates in the Living Stations of the Cross that the youth put on each year. This year she was Mary She also does the pancake breakfasts and decorates the church for Christmas and Easter, does the food drive at Thanksgiving...there are so many ways to be involved!

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Posted: March 25 2006 at 9:14pm | IP Logged Quote alicegunther

lapazfarm wrote:
She also participates in the Living Stations of the Cross that the youth put on each year. This year she was Mary


How wonderful! It must have been such a joy to see her in that role. (I trust you took many pictures. : ) )My oldest daughter just played Mary in the Christmas Pageant. It meant so much to me, especially because I remember years and years ago, when we took our first steps down this path to home education, my big fear was that they would not be able to be part of plays and pageants at school! Boy, did that turn out to be an unwarranted concern!

Our parish just began a new "Consolation" ministry, reaching out to parishioners grieving the loss of a loved one. With all we have to do, I cannot volunteer to complete some of the larger tasks involved in this program, but one of the things the parish is looking for is volunteers to bring cakes to the families. This is such a small and simple thing, but it is a task I could easily do with my daughters. I want them to see that we should not avoid people when they most need us and that even little things mean a lot.

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Posted: March 25 2006 at 9:46pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

alicegunther wrote:
... one of the things the parish is looking for is volunteers to bring cakes to the families. This is such a small and simple thing, but it is a task I could easily do with my daughters.



In our last church parish, I was part of the New Mother's Committee where we brought food to new mothers and their families. I always took the girls with me to help carry the food and see the new babies.

Also, as Annie gets older, I'm planning to help more at CCD and take the girls with me to be my "teacher aids". I've played with the idea of starting an atrium and having the girls help me prepare it.

I know one mother who, for a time, offered a day care during 10:30 AM Mass time for little ones. Her daughter helped her with this service.

My oldest dd is also a lector and loves doing this.

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Posted: March 27 2006 at 4:56pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

Since so many good posts are imbedded and hidden in another thread, I'm moving a few quotes over to bring to this discussion. It's not easy to read, so my apologies.

A discussion of nurturing female vocations turns directly into what kind of active service can we do to foster a vocation. Working in the church, as a sacristan, cleaner, lector, cantor, musician all have come forward.

Nurturing feminine traits seems key in all of these suggestions:

kitcat wrote:
A nun does not serve at Mass, so why would being an altar girl foster a vocation to the religious life?

Girls in our parish do things that nuns might do. They sing in the choir, have held bake sales and cleaned the church. The girls see the moms organizing dinners and potlucks. They hear and see how beautifully some of the ladies in our parish polish the tabernacle, iron the altar linens and arrange flowers. They, along with the boys, spend at least fifteen minutes in Adoration each week, during Catechism class. My children spend an hour in Adoration every First Friday. They read and listen to stories of the saints. They are members of Little Flowers. My oldest daughter, who has wanted to be a nun since age 5, writes to a Poor Clare monastery (she suggested doing so). We go to daily Mass when possible and we pray the Rosary each night as a family. I pray that my children are open to a vocation to the priesthood or religious life, if that is where God calls them.



guitarnan wrote:
My dad's cousin was the church cleaner and sacristan at her parish for decades. She loved making sure the church was dust-free and that all the altar linens were perfect. I could see an altar girl eventually shifting to that kind of service to a parish.

In most of the parishes I've belonged to, we've had altar girls. Where I live now, we have one altar girl and seven altar boys. That's it. We're often lucky to have one altar server (of any type) at Mass on Sunday. Such is the fate of a tiny parish.

I've changed parishes every two or three years since dh joined the Navy. We've seen a lot of different ways to run a parish. One thing I've never seen is a parish that allows altar-server-aged children get involved in any other aspect of parish service, except as part of a "Youth Mass" or some such event. Kids can't be lectors, or ushers, and are often excluded from music ministry unless the parish is either really small or really huge, large enough for a youth choir.

So, Molly's point makes me think that perhaps, if we're trying to encourage boys to become altar servers, we might also need to think of other ways girls can serve, and not just cleaning the church or babysitting in the nursery. Although those tasks do need to be done, they shouldn't be dumped solely on the girls.

Back in my grandma's time, parishes all had Altar Societies, dedicated to keeping the worship space beautiful and to raising money for replacement of worn items. Couldn't there be a way to structure something like this for our young people to participate in?

I guess I see it like this. It's definitely better to have male altar servers, and I think it does relate to future vocations. But, as a female Catholic, I can also understand the needs of all young people to feel welcomed when they offer their gifts and talents in service to God's Church. We, as adult Catholics, probably need to work with pastors and, no doubt, bishops, to find ways to encourage our young people to offer service to the Church, and to find ways to accept these offers in the most appropriate ways.

There's nothing that hurts worse than to offer yourself in service and to be told, "Sorry, we don't need you."


JennGM wrote:
I agree with Christine. In most convents the nuns don't serve as altar servers, but they are terrific sacristans! Remember the Rosary Altar Societies? The women did the altar linens, flowers, cleaned, and prayed for the church.

I guess some would rebel, but a woman's natural role in her vocations (wife, mother, nun) is nurturing and ministerial, but many times behind the scenes. You know the old saying "the woman behind the man." Feminism has crept into our thinking to balk at the hidden roles, to downplay the importance and to gain more public roles.

The skills that would be so wonderful to nurture are gardening, flower arranging, embroider and sewing altar linens, cleaning and pressing linens, even vestments. "Cleaning" is a general term, but special skills I think are needed to shine brass and silver. And what a privilege to be working with items that come in contact with Our Lord.

Then there's the liturgy--planning the readings, lector, music. I worked with the Church for years as an organist in different ways, my mother led choirs, sang as a cantor.

This discussion harkens back to the thread "What Has Changed?" We've lost our natural nurturing roles and teachers to give us example and guidance...so we're grasping at straws!


guitarnan wrote:
Wouldn't it be wonderful if parishes could have a Mary Garden to help keep the church filled with beautiful flowers? What a nice place it would be, too, to sit and pray or study.

Jenn, you're right, there are so many ways for people to contribute...but I'm still wondering how we can plant the seeds for these contributions while our girls are young. As you say, it's a privilege to work with the sacred vessels and altar linens...but somehow, in many parishes, we've lost that feeling of privilege.




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Posted: March 27 2006 at 5:15pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

macbeth wrote:
guitarnan wrote:
One thing I've never seen is a parish that allows altar-server-aged children get involved in any other aspect of parish service, except as part of a "Youth Mass" or some such event. Kids can't be lectors, or ushers, and are often excluded from music ministry unless the parish is either really small or really huge, large enough for a youth choir.


Libby has just been hired as Cantor in our parish, and has been helping with the music at several parishes for years. Young people are often lectors here, and not just for the children's Mass. It never ceases to amaze me how different things are in other parishes around the country. (not taking you to task, Nancy ...just hope it's not an overall curse )


elizabeth wrote:
jenngm wrote:
The skills that would be so wonderful to nurture are gardening, flower arranging, embroider and sewing altar linens, cleaning and pressing linens, even vestments. "Cleaning" is a general term, but special skills I think are needed to shine brass and silver. And what a privilege to be working with items that come in contact with Our Lord.

Then there's the liturgy--planning the readings, lector, music. I worked with the Church for years as an organist in different ways, my mother led choirs, sang as a cantor.

This discussion harkens back to the thread "What Has Changed?" We've lost our natural nurturing roles and teachers to give us example and guidance...so we're grasping at straws!


I think you're on to something here, Jenn. And I am reminded that Maria Montessori made the same connection with this work and liturgy and worship in her atria. Children find an inherent satisfaction in all of these things in the atria. They gravitate to brass polishing and flower arranging. Not just girls, but boys too, will find hours of contemplative satisfaction. I've witnessed it. Perhaps it is our society that looks down upon these tasks and so has taught its children that such tasks are not valuable.

For months, at our former parish, I gathered the altar linens every week and brought them home to wash and iron them. I very much enjoyed the task (and I'm not a big fan of laundry). When the job was opened to other people, there were more than enough volunteers and no one ever seemed to think it a disdainful task. Indeed, we took pride in the loveliness of the linens and we were glad for this way to serve. Most of those women were also catechists, lectors, and extraordinary ministers of the Eucharist. But I don't think they ever thought that the altar linens or flower arranging were lesser jobs.


The atrium immediately came to mind when I was thinking of polishing brass. I also did a "Come and See" Saturday with the Poor Clares years ago. Because of their cloister, I couldn't really mingle. But we were given the task of polishing the brass candlesticks for the Triduum. It was hard work, but very rewarding. The other lesson that has remained with me is that in the quiet tasks there is freedom for contemplation and meditation... I can be both a Martha and Mary.

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Posted: March 27 2006 at 5:20pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

ALMom wrote:
Perhaps it would help to realize the great priviledge it is to be a sacristan. It is a dying understanding as it is not simply a task of cleaning. It was awesome to realize that I was in such close contact with our Lord - and it was sometimes extremely sad to see how often, with the proliferation of Extraordinary EM and the use of so many chalices (or glass containers - and the pouring of the precious blood) that there were so many times our Lord was not given due reverence. The purificators that I cleaned were always extremely badly stained and often had to be burned.

When my dd was approaching the age to serve (and we knew that our DRE would approach her about it even though our family does not encourage and would probably not allow our girls to serve) we headed off the whole temptation by talking with her about sacristry work and I got involved and trained to do it (even though I am not a very good cleaner).

My duties included cleaning altar linens (including the corporals, and purificators which must be washed very specially - you cannot put them in your washing machine directly as they often contain stains of precious blood). We rinsed them lovingly by hand in a wash tub we got specifically for this use and then poured the water on our flowers. I often double or triple rinsed due to the excessive staining (perhaps excess scrupilosity on my part).

I also made sure the candles were filled with oil ready for Mass, replaced the tabernacle light, cleaned and refilled holy water fonts, leaving a note for Father to bless more water if we were running low. I also checked to see that supplies of altar wine and hosts were in sufficient quantities for the week - or notified the head sacristan of the shortage.

My dd have never even thought about serving - though our parish is full of female servers. We were not necessarily the best of sacristans - but I will say that it is profoundly spiritual work and also very difficult work when there is carelessness with our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. (I could not continue with the work and our children did not necessarily want to stay with it long term - but we have never felt slighted, and were profoundly touched by that time of service (even if I did accidently fill the candles with holy water once instead of oil and couldn't manage to figure out how to get stains out of purificators without unduly yellowing them). I have a very deep respect for the ladies who do this behind the scenes.

If you have read A Right to Be Merry, you will see that the most desired work in the convent is sacristry work because of the closeness to our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament.

It also might be worthwhile to review JPII document on the Confusion of the role of the laity and the ordained and the abuses that he pointed out in those documents coming out pretty close together. I cannot remember its exact name and have not been able to find my copy. However, it would certainly be worthwhile to read/study "The Lay Members of Christ's Faithful People".

Know this is a hard time for you all in Arlington. It is sad that this only leaves Lincoln as far as I know. We're still waiting on a bishop - no indications of one for our diocese yet. Unfortunately, MacBeth, you are extremely fortunate in your area - most of the rest of the world does not have the kind of things you do - we've had altar girls in our area long before it was actually permitted. We still have in excess of 11 Extraordinary Ministers of the Eucharist at every Sunday Mass and even a handful at daily Mass with very few daily Mass attendees. And, yes, things tend to be segregated by age though some pastors are working heroicly to try and get more blending so there were times when dd musical talent was not wanted (we wouldn't deal with the silliness of vision teen and the boom boxes, etc. going with that.


This is so lovely, Janet! I wrote elsewhere that last week we lost our sacristan of 24 years to lung cancer. There was an example to behold: 12 priests concelebrating her Mass, 12 children, she a widow with her youngest only 2 years old, single mom raising 12 children! Sacristan is only one part of what she did, because she did everything.... Her witness, charity, affection and faith was just so wonderful. I have always wanted her job...she was always in our Lord's Presence.

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Posted: March 27 2006 at 5:50pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

I apologize for the marathon posting...I just had to get those thoughts into this more positive thread.

Currently I'm reading The Privilege of Being a Woman by Alice von Hildebrand. I think Mary G has sung the praises of this book. I can't believe how relevant this little book is to this discussion. I highly recommend it...it's short, but powerful.

Some thoughts I want to share in relation to this topic:

The world in which we now live is a world whose outlook is so distorted that we absolutize what is relative (money-making, power, success) and relativize what is absolute (truth, moral values, and God). Power, riches, fame, success, and dominance are idolized; humility, chastity, modesty, self-sacrifice, and service are looked down upon as signs of weakness. This last sentence, Nietzsche's philosophy in a nutshell -- the glorification of strength and the denigration of weakness -- has become the shallow core of modern thought and feminist belief. (p. 23)


....Our first parents' minds were darkened by sin, their wills were weakened, their judgment became distorted. The hierarchy of values being upset, male accomplishments became overvalued. Physical strength became glorified and weakness was looked down upon as a proof of inferiority. This is written in the book of Wisdom, referring to the language of the ungodly: "but let our might be our law of right, for what is weak proves itself to be useless. (p.24)


...These accolades indicate clearly that the "weakness" of the female sex, as far as accomplishments and productivity are concerned, can be more than compensated by her moral strength, when she lives up to her calling. That is, when she loves. (p. 29)

The whole tragedy of contemporary feminism--which Cardinal Josef Ratzinger considers one of the greatest threats menacing the Church -- stems from a lack of faith and a loss of the sense of the supernatural. Feminism is inconceivable in a world rooted in Judeo-Christian values. But it is in the New Testament that the full glory of the female mission and vocation shines in the person of the Holy Virgin of Nazareth who accepted to become the mother of the Redeemer while remaining a virgin (as prophesied by Isaiah). Once spiritual eyesight, severely distorted by original sin, has been corrected by the lenses of faith, we are in a position to understand God's creation as He meant it to be and to reject with horror the view offered by the deforming lenses of secularism. (p.30)

...One further deplorable consequence of this secularistic view is the claim that "service is degrading." It is viewed as antidemocratic. It is humiliating. Humility is a virtue that finds little favor in the secularistic world. It is only puzzled and confused by the words of Psalm 118:71: "it is good for me that I was humbled that I might learn your statutes." (p. 31)


Emphasis Mrs. von Hildebrand's. Excuse the cut and paste nature, maybe it won't get her point across clearly, but I just was struck by her thoughts. This thread stems from altar girls discussion. Being an altar girl is a more public role. Traditional female roles such as sacristans or belonging to altar guilds are not as "satisfying" because of the humble or hidden nature.

Her thoughts just gave me a little "Eureka" that if I have a hard time with doing these roles, the problem is with me! I have taken on some feminist tendencies.

In short, I'd say to nurture female vocations, we need to nurture true femininity first.

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Posted: March 28 2006 at 5:36am | IP Logged Quote Molly Smith

Wow, Jenn! Thanks for putting this all together! I have so loved reading all of the post and gathering ideas. I hope you don't mind if I print them out for my neighbor--she will be thrilled.

Our children participate together in the Legion of Mary a few parishes over--we don't have one yet out here. But all of their "works" are for that parish. Not that it makes it less of a work, but we would like to also serve our own parish and my neighbor is trying to compile ideas to present to our pastor (whom we love). These ideas are a tremendous help.

Thanks so much MacBeth for moving this over and to Jenn for helping to bring it all together! Keep the ideas coming!!

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Posted: March 28 2006 at 5:41am | IP Logged Quote Mary G

JennGM wrote:

Currently I'm reading The Privilege of Being a Woman by Alice von Hildebrand. I think Mary G has sung the praises of this book. I can't believe how relevant this little book is to this discussion. I highly recommend it...it's short, but powerful.



Jenn -- I'm glad you're enjoying it. I think it should be on every teenage girls' reading list! If you can get a teen boy to read it -- that might be worthwhile too! It refutes so many of our modern age arguments about women doing it all and competing with men. She makes it very clear that it doesn't have to be a competition!

You're right Jenn, it's very appropriate for a discussion on the "what can we do with our cgirls if we don't let the be altar servers".

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Posted: March 29 2006 at 2:21pm | IP Logged Quote Molly Smith

KitCat wrote:
How do we foster vocations in girls?
1. Follow the teachings of the Magisterium of the Catholic Church.


Christine (or anyone else who may know), I was discussing all of the wonderful ideas in this thread with my neighbor and this is one thing she specifically questioned me about. Does the Magisterium say that girls cannot be altar servers? We're guessing not, because certainly our bishops wouldn't go against the Magisterium.

She is specifically looking for concrete arguments to present to her friend regarding why girls should serve in the ways mentioned here and not pursue serving at the altar.

Thank you all so much for your invaluable knowledge and help! Oh, one more thing to further point out my ignorance , when we talk about the Magisterium, are we talking about all of the things in the Catechism?

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JSchaaf
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Posted: March 29 2006 at 2:37pm | IP Logged Quote JSchaaf

I just read through this thread-thank you so much for all these things to think about! We just had an announcement at Mass that the group of ladies who cleans the church at 9:30 on Friday mornings was in need of more help-I was hesistant to volunteer because I didn't have child care, but now I realize that this could be something that my little girls could do as well (they are 6, 5, and 3). If my 3 yo can dust at home, she can dust some pews for Our Lord, right??
Jennifer
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Jenny
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Posted: March 29 2006 at 2:49pm | IP Logged Quote Jenny

My girls (7, 6, & 4) Love to help clean the church. The older ladies love the help & to see the little ones.

Jenny

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Maddie
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Posted: March 29 2006 at 5:12pm | IP Logged Quote Maddie

We have started to attend Mass as a family at a local nursing home once a month. My oldest dd and ds have been asked to go up to the rooms of the patients, with an adult of course, and help bring down the patients for Mass. We also help set up the room for Mass before Father arrives. My dd loves caring for the elderly and has expressed an interest in joining the Daughters of St. Joseph (I think that's the name of the order) an order devoted to caring for the elderly.

As a side note; these dear people are so lonely during the day. We visited on Christmas this past year to remind the children not everyone has a merry Christmas and the residents were so grateful to see children. Most of the residents' family members could not make it on Christmas Day and several of them were lonely and tearful. We have found the elderly are brimming with stories to tell and I think they bless us as much as we bless them!

Just another idea for our daughters.

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Cay Gibson
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Posted: March 29 2006 at 5:17pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

Our Little Flowers Group is taking a field trip to a near-by Carmelite Monastery tomorrow. We'll be treated to an hour long tour of the grounds.

My 8 yr old is very fascinated and interested in what goes on behind those cloistered walls and is hoping to catch a "glimpse" of a cloistered nun. I told her not to hold her breath.

I think encouraging the mystery of this lifestyle also encourages the mystery of our faith.

I'm hoping many seeds will be planted tomorrow.


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