| Author | |
Marybeth
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 02 2005
Location: Illinois
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1277
|
| Posted: Oct 16 2006 at 7:22am | IP Logged
|
 |
|
This may have already been discussed so forgive me if it has.
Do you set goals for your children for the year, month, etc? Is this how you decide what to strew?
Am I completely off base and this is anti-unschooling talk?
Just pondering goal setting b/c it was so pounded into me as an elementary school teacher. I like homeschooling b/c there isn't the pressure to perform or meet a dictated curriculum. Do I form a disservice to ds in wanting to set goals for him?
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Willa
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3881
|
| Posted: Oct 16 2006 at 11:24am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I definitely have goals -- I guess it would be better to say "aspirations" or "goals for what I want to be in raising them" for the kids in the long term.
I wouldn't be unschooling if I didn't think it was conducive to excellence.
But I want them to "own" their excellence, not have them chopped and stretched to fit a standard, so I'm flexible about how we reach the long term goals. Part of MY goal is to foster their love of learning and bring them up "the way they should go" -- their unique self.
In the shorter term -- years, weeks and months -- I set goals for myself -- what I want to strew, do to help my children, share with them etc.
I try to see what their goals are -- not always by talking because discussing goals makes them clam up a bit -- but what they seem to be passionate about, interested in, striving for, so I can line up with them.
Obviously, I make mistakes. Also I'm not a "pure" unschooler, I don't think, because sometimes I do assign and plan things. I watch for their "consent"; I don't force them to do things they are opposed to doing, because it's never worked in our house. But for example, I started my 13yo on his algebra this fall and discussed what track he should stay on to be finished by January. He comes up and asks in the morning for his math.
I have to help him now so sorry if this sounds scattered.
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
ladybugs
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3732
|
| Posted: Oct 16 2006 at 11:33am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Hey MB!
Unschooling when they're younger came naturally for my family. My oldest is very driven and always interested. While this is a gift it was exhausting for me.  - but again, that's a good exhaustion!
Now that they're getting older, we've been discussing goals and things I would like for them while explaining why I would like them for them. Additionally, they have had goals for themselves so it's been wonderful to talk about the whys and listen to their reasoning.
So, to make a long story short...yes, we set goals.
__________________
Love and God Bless,
Maria P
My etsy store - all proceeds go to help my fencing daughters!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Marybeth
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 02 2005
Location: Illinois
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1277
|
| Posted: Oct 16 2006 at 11:36am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Please Willa you could never sound scattered. I have more of an unschooling philosophy than my dh plus my educator side rears its ugly scope and sequence head...panic sets in for me.
I am not pushing formal reading instruction as of yet for my ds age 6 which can frustrate my husband. He does see all we do and hears us frequently while we read, discuss, etc. I think his working at home allows for him to feel very much in our schooling loop.
I just feel our day is better when I have set things I would like to accomplish, and we ease our way through the day. ie: do some science experiments, read our chapter book, write some words
I think I fall too much into the comparing myself and our homeschool to other families and feeling like I ride the fence for true unschooling.
Thanks for responding Willa...it feels better to haer other thoughts, ways they unschool and how they manage their days.
God bless,
Marybeth
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Marybeth
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 02 2005
Location: Illinois
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1277
|
| Posted: Oct 16 2006 at 11:43am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Our posts crossed my favorite ladybug friend!!
Thanks for your reply. We feel better setting goals for ds. Dh is very interested in our schooling so I am blessed to have someone to share ideas and concerns with when needed.
Today we went and saw an amazing acrobat troop from Africa. To me-school for the day! To other moms-a nice outing now home for lessons!
We will read later and go to religious education class and that feels enough to me for a 6 year old boy. I think I just need validation in which he will learn and master information.
So basically...I need to CHILL out.
Mb
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lapazfarm
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 21 2005
Location: Alaska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6082
|
| Posted: Oct 16 2006 at 12:13pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am a "hybrid" unschooler so take that into consideration.
I do set goals for my dc, but they are more yearly or semester goals than daily or weekly. For instance, this year (6th grade) I want ds to learn to improve his expository writing skills (last year was descriptive and narrative). Now HOW we do this is very flexible and interest-driven. Ds writes about whatever topic he chooses, with some suggestions by me (for example, he wrote a blog entry to narrate our trip to the coast.)As long as I am seeing progress on our goals, I don't sweat the methods. His math goal this year is to use fractions and decimals comfortably. We are using a combination of methods to get there. So far, so good.
I classify our school as a hybrid unschool because ds chooses what he wants to learn about (currently sailing) and for how long. My job is to help him find ways to learn it for as long as his interest level lasts. This may include some requirements ("If you want to earn your boater safety certification then you need to read about this...") or just suggestions (how about we watch this movie, "Horatio Hornblower?")and exposure (trips to the coast). The trick with my ds is knowing when enough is enough. Some units last longer than others, driven by his interest level and my ability to keep him supplied with interesting info and ideas.
It is also very easy with ds to tell when something is not working for him. Very clear signals because his usual sunny attitude turns grey! That's my signal to drop it and try another tack. As I said, as long as the goal is achieved, methods can be changed. And since there are so many methods to reach the goal, surely I can find one that will click with ds.
Don't know if this is helpful or not, but that's what we do.
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Willa
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3881
|
| Posted: Oct 16 2006 at 12:56pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I was at the Sonlight site yesterday looking for books and read this article on Written Goals
Quote:
| There is much well-documented evidence that goals — and especially written goal — improve a person's chances of success by astronomical factors. Money was the objective measure in the example above. But it's not the only measure. In fact, other studies have proven that written goals are simply more likely to be achieved than unwritten goals, no matter what those goals may be. |
|
|
It sounded rather like what you are saying, MaryBeth...
Quote:
| I just feel our day is better when I have set things I would like to accomplish, and we ease our way through the day. ie: do some science experiments, read our chapter book, write some words |
|
|
This seems to work better for me too -- and in this article on Examen of Conscience Fr Hardon talks about this from a Catholic Ignatian perspective:
Quote:
Finally, plan for the future. Sacred Scripture could not be plainer. The just man anticipates what he will do and is not caught unaware of what God expects of him. This part of the general examen is indispensable in the spiritual life.
It means that I look forward to what I am to do, and avoid doing, in the next day. It further means that I ask myself, in God's presence, how I should do what my conscience tells me is God's will. It even means that I anticipate how much time I will spend, say in conversation with someone, or on a particular task that lies ahead of me. Clearly this calls for both prudence and prayer.
I must foresee what God expects of me and plan on how I am to fulfill this expectation. But it also, and especially, means that I pray for the light to know what I am to do and how to do it, and for the strength of will which only God can provide to do His will effectively.
A standard dictionary definition of agenda is "a list, outline, or plan of things to be considered or done." For the believing Christian, agenda are the things that God wants me to do.
Our natural tendency is to do first the things that we like, and then the things that are useful, and finally the things that are necessary. We need Divine help to reverse this natural process. That is why the third purpose of the general examen of conscience is absolutely crucial if we wish to grow in holiness. I must daily anticipate God's will for my next day and ask Him for the grace I will need to do His will instead of following my own.
One brief suggestion. It is a good idea to jot down, however briefly, what I foresee the Lord expects me to do in the next day. |
|
|
My day seems to go better when I am not just drifting.
NOW -- for me the other side of the balance is not locking into my plans and forcing them through at the expense of what I REALLY want. I need to continue discerning and looking for the light of the Holy Spirit.
And my kids need margin, so I look for the "greyness" that Teresa mentioned. Not every day can be golden, but a real pulling-away or lock-in is a symptom of something going wrong. And Fr Hardon mentions not just "doing" but "considering" -- which is very interesting to me. I put "considerations" on my list because there are some things I want to be aware of when I'm going through the day -- sometimes I write them as little mottoes or memos, as Leonie has mentioned in past posts. "take time..." or "recollect" or "do the next thing" -- whatever reminder I need at the time. Sometimes I don't write them at all but just have a couple of things I am trying to keep in mind.
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Genevieve
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 02 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 529
|
| Posted: Oct 16 2006 at 5:30pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I do set goals but with lots of input from my children. Even though they are young (4 and 2), they tell me what they want to work on in their own way. My 4 year old loves starfall and just wrote the word mom and dad on a piece of paper all by himself. So I take that as a signal he might like more reading "keys" So we have been working on blending. What word starts with "Pi" and ends with "zza", and working towards "C" and "at". We have been also doing some Math Circus acrobats with legos.
As for strewing, I strew tangibles every Monday. Sunday night when the kids are asleep I rotate their toys/books. As for ideas, I consciously think of one every night. Only one. Like today was Africa after the upteenth time I read Curious George to him. I just pull out the two-page spread from our encylopedia and we read captions. Tomorrow we are grinding oats to bake bread (his suggestion).
As you can see, there is no timeframe I work with and planning too far ahead hasn't worked for me. I take it step by step. My kids have also displayed lulls in their development and interests, where they seem to be stagnated. That's okay too because often they just need the time to ponder and rest. If you need goal settings, try to lay it out like a flowchart but don't pegged it to the calendar. And even then, he might just do things out of "sequence" too!
__________________
Genevieve
The Good Within
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Karen E.
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 27 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1161
|
| Posted: Oct 18 2006 at 7:54am | IP Logged
|
|
|
What a wonderful thread! I wish I had more time to comment intelligently, but I'm about to get off the computer!
I agree with so much of what has been said so eloquently already -- the main ideas with which I identify here are that I need to have some direction, I can't "just drift" or things will fall apart and nothing will happen. But, I'm very flexible about how we reach longer term goals and aspirations.
I love what's been said about balance and "greyness" ... I'm also not "a pure unschooler" and I like Theresa's term, too: "hybrid unschooler."
For us, unschooling encompasses that balance of following interests (our whole WWII thing this year was at the kids' request), some planning on my part, flexibility in changing course, and regular assessment (on my part) of what we're learning, how our methods are working, how our days are going.
I don't feel I've added anything to the conversation, other than to say that these other ladies have covered it so well!
__________________
God bless,
Karen E.
mom to three on earth, and several souls in God's care
Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Leonie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2831
|
| Posted: Oct 18 2006 at 5:16pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I really like this article by Julie Bogart on big, hairy, audacious goals.
Its an oldie but a goodie.
__________________
Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lapazfarm
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 21 2005
Location: Alaska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6082
|
| Posted: Oct 18 2006 at 6:31pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
That is a great article.
Makes me really think about where educational goals should come from. I think we can (and should) have goals for our children (like, learn to write, etc) but there is no reason our goals for them cannot be accomplished within the framework of their own passions.
This is, I think, what is happening when our homeschool is at it's best. Other times, when my own agenda gets in the way, that's when I see the greyness descend.
Very thought provoking.
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Leonie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2831
|
| Posted: Oct 18 2006 at 6:38pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
lapazfarm wrote:
| This is, I think, what is happening when our homeschool is at it's best. Other times, when my own agenda gets in the way, that's when I see the greyness descend. |
|
|
Yes, I think there is a fine line - at least there is for us.
A line between parental goals and educational and life goals for our dc - and the dc's own goals and interests.
Often these mesh very well.
Sometimes,however, discussion and negotiation is required. 
Like yesterday. I asked my 17 year old about his latest reading - he admitted that, apart from university reading ( he does one course a study period via university) - well, his reading was sporadic. Bits of this and bits of that.
I suggested he choose a novel and a theology/spiritual book for reading.
He did so, after discussion. 
My goals, dh's goals, and his goals meeting together.
__________________
Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
chicken lady
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 27 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2315
|
| Posted: Oct 19 2006 at 9:10am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thanks for the article Leonie, that really was a boost! I think I need to re-thinking all of these goals.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
vmalott
Forum All-Star
Joined: Sept 15 2006
Location: Ohio
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 536
|
| Posted: Oct 19 2006 at 8:36pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
lapazfarm wrote:
| there is no reason our goals for them cannot be accomplished within the framework of their own passions. This is, I think, what is happening when our homeschool is at it's best. Other times, when my own agenda gets in the way, that's when I see the greyness descend. Very thought provoking. |
|
|
Indeed, it is thought provoking, as is your response. I go back and forth between more structure and less structure, and I think we're at the point where we're starting to find a balance between total, radical unschooling, and pursuing academics and develping necessary skills. It was easier to unschool when they were younger and there were less children around to scatter the brainwaves.
Like Willa, though, I do much better when I have some kind of plan. Not so much an enforced, "You kids need to do X, Y, and Z today before you can do A, B, and C", but more for my own well-being "I think it's for me to introduce them to this today."
Last week, we had a sit-down discussion of what the two oldest (12 and 10) would like to learn about, and I felt much better. In fact, I was kind of surprised that they were honest about their weaknesses and expressed a desire to improve in certain areas. They also both asked for spelling workbooks. LOL! I started the school year with grand plans and checklists, but I've pretty much ditched it all and we're going with a more relaxed flow. There are certain goals in sight, but how we get there changes day by day.
Valerie
__________________
Valerie
Mom to Julia ('94), John ('96), Lizzy ('98), Connor ('01), Drew ('02), Cate ('04), Aidan ('08) and three saints in heaven
Seven Times the Fun
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lapazfarm
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 21 2005
Location: Alaska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6082
|
| Posted: Oct 19 2006 at 9:06pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am the ultimate waffler when it comes to structure! LOL! But I find myself moving further away from structure and more towards a rhythm.
I wrote a longer response to that wonderful article on my blog here
but just wanted to add that I definitely believe in planning. I plan extensively and am constantly revising and re-working plans to make them better. We don't always follow them, but they are there if we need them, sort of like a map or guidebook that we can pick up when we need a little direction after following our trails wherever they lead. But Julie's article just made me think that perhaps it is not enough that I provide the map. Perhaps I need to break out the machete and invest a bit more of myself in the effort to reach ds's goals.
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Leonie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2831
|
| Posted: Oct 19 2006 at 11:25pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
lapazfarm wrote:
| But Julie's article just made me think that perhaps it is not enough that I provide the map. Perhaps I need to break out the machete and invest a bit more of myself in the effort to reach ds's goals. |
|
|
This has been the secret for us - being willing to really invest in the dc's goals - time, money, support, help, listening skills. Just like I would with my dh. And if the dc want me to, of course!
I am off to read your blog.
__________________
Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Leonie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2831
|
| Posted: Aug 06 2007 at 4:56pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am resurrecting this thread, to ask more about people's goals and how they mesh with an unschooly atmosphere.
Right now, two of my kids have a goal to complete the Kumon English programme. Apart from that, we are in a relaxed mode - so much else going on, that our main goal is joy. Living joyously.
My own goal - smile more and affirm my kids and my dh.
Are these educational goals? In a way,yes, as I think that the atmosphere of a home really affects the learning that takes place.
But CM already said that, didn't she?
__________________
Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
lapazfarm
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 21 2005
Location: Alaska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6082
|
| Posted: Aug 06 2007 at 5:26pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Ds has expressed interest in exploring the following topics this year:
Geometry
Geography
Geology
Hmmm...I sense a trend here!LOL!
Anyway, those will be his hands-on subjects this year.
We will be using Bill Bryson's "A Brief History of Nearly Everything" for science and history and running with whatever projects that book inspires. I had considered using it last year but he wasn't really ready for it. This year I think he is. I've spent some time this summer re-reading it and jotting down notes for project ideas to toss out at him. We'll see which ones he picks up.
Plus he has a bunch of other science projects in mind. I get a feeling lots of science will happen this year as he was really jazzed about his successful experiments last year.
We will all three be doing geography together this year using some Montessori resources. He is very attracted to the map puzzles and excited about getting his hands on them soon. He has always been a map lover.
Math goal: get ready for Algebra. He'll be using Basic High school Math from the Teaching Company plus some living math books.
This is definitely MY goal for him. HIS math goal is all about geometry. He fell in love with it after getting a small taste of it last year.
Nature study continues as always. I think we need to get to a desert some time this year so he can explore that ecosystem a bit before we head for Alaska.
Should be an interesting year.
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Willa
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Location: California
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3881
|
| Posted: Aug 06 2007 at 7:00pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Leonie wrote:
My own goal - smile more and affirm my kids and my dh.
Are these educational goals? In a way,yes, as I think that the atmosphere of a home really affects the learning that takes place.
|
|
|
I think this is very true -- thanks for reviving the thread, Leonie!
A lot of times when things seem to come to a halt around here, I realize there's something out of balance -- maybe I am emphasizing academics too much at the expense of relaxed together-time, or letting things go that shouldn't be let go.... and so on. A lot of the things aren't educational but have educational impact.
I like Ann Lahrson-Fisher's idea of "protecting their play". Most real learning comes from play, in my opinion. Play to me does not mean silly recreational activities, though those have their place, but that all-absorbing interest in making sense of life through exploration and discovery. My dad learned languages as a hobby, just as an example; and yesterday, Aidan vacuumed his Dad's office by himself, just because he is constantly reaching for that kind of mastery of different abilities. For him, it was play.
Lahrson-Fisher says that sometimes play disintegrates when there is not enough structure as well as when there is too much.... for example, you know how sometimes the kids are bored by their playroom, then you re-organize it and suddenly the kids are inspired by their toys again.
So her goal is to make the environment conducive to that kind of absorption and exploration that constitutes learning.... I thought I would mention that since that has become one of my ongoing goals.
__________________
AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JuliaT
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 25 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 563
|
| Posted: Aug 06 2007 at 8:53pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am finding that there is a balance between my goals and the goals of my children.
This year my goals for my dd is to give her more opportunities for writing. I am going to give her a journal in which she is to write of something that she has learned about during that day. I also want to do more geography with her.
Her goals for this year is to take cooking lessons with her mom and to continue learning latin.
For my ds, my goals are to get him reading and writing. His goals are to learn to play the piano and read stories about detectives.
For us, the balance works very nicely.
Blessings,
Julia
mom to 3(8,6,4)
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Juliainsk
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Do you set goals?
