Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Cay Gibson
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Posted: July 12 2006 at 12:23pm | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

It isn't the first time Donna Marie has inspired me. In the House thread she mentions:

Donna Marie wrote:
We need to shoot for elegant simplicity!!


I'm intrigued. Inspired.

What is "elegant simplicity"?

How do we obtain this...short of the
obvious...decluttering?

What books give us ideas for this "elegant simplicity"?

What blogs inspire us to have "elegant simplicity" within our homes?

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Posted: July 12 2006 at 12:49pm | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

I'd love to know as well. Not so much the elegant part, as I am beyond help there , but the simplicity sure appeals to me!

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Posted: July 12 2006 at 1:45pm | IP Logged Quote Meredith

I'm not sure how much elegance is stressed, but I really like the ideas Emilie Barnes puts forth in Welcome Home!

I also received The Perfect Settingby Peri Wolfman & Charles Gold for a birthday present yeas ago and I like it for it's simplicity!!

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Posted: July 12 2006 at 2:08pm | IP Logged Quote Donna Marie

Elegant simplicity has been my mantra for awhile. There is a lovely lady on the Magnum Opus group who inspired me with this idea a long time ago as being mother of the home and it has been revisited time and again. Want ANOTHER LONG post from me? It is raining here and there are blanket tents around me everywhere, so I am free to type...so watch out

I had an aunt that I barely remember...she was a Dominican nun who was very educated and devoted,( but never lorded it over you...you felt completely at home in her presence) wore the old habit and suffered much in her life(cancer) She had a big beautiful heart that was gentle enough to melt the heart of my big bear of a Grandfather with her sweet simple ways. She would be the first one to cut the roses in the garden to place on the table...only to hear my uncle gasp that his roses were nearly extinguished...this would invoke peals of laughter from her and a gentle reproof that God made those roses for the dinner table for all to appreciate not just for his tiny garden! She would eat good things but turn away seconds with the claim "I have acchieved an elegant sufficiency...thank you so much!!" We learned much from her!

For me, it is her memory and more...the touches here and there around the home that give it a feeling of care, warmth and welcome. It is a way of being a good steward with your gifts and passing them down to your children. It is purposeful living.   It is the smell of baking bread and bubbling soup. It is (for me) making a work apron and when I wear it it means that I mean business. It both an attitude and an act of preparing the heart and the home. It is a simple flower in a vase, a tablecloth on the table and a tall cup of iced tea when it is hot. it means a pair of well-worn rosaries in your pocket (that are USED often)

It is a little extra touch in little places to make someone feel thought of...It is not the accumulation of things, but uses things at times to invoke the best from people. You don't have to spend a fortune for this lifestyle. it is not about living cheaply, it is about living SIMPLY. It is having a GOOD piece of chocolate now and then and having a GOOD cuppa now and then and taking the effort to put it in a teapot to make it special. It is taking a deliberate pause to make things thoughtful. It is welcoming the Divine Guest in every person.   

For us, it is a way of making do with less...but making what we do have speak for itself. I can bring to mind the french here...it does not have to be overdone to work....lol...it doesn't even have to match, but it should me meaningful! Garage sales can bring home such treasures. Sometimes you have to be creative a little sneaky...or should I say surprising...God is...just think of the gentle touches of love He sends you every day...a gentle breeze just when you need it...it isn't a co-incidence! It is a God-incidence and it takes a thoughtful pause to recognize and thank God for them...it is an attitude of thoughtfulness and gratitude!

it means being a LADY no matter what your circumstances...making lemonade out of lemons, being hopeful that God will bring the best out of people and situations and commending all to His care and providence and it means working hard...the good kind of working hard according to our station in life. it is filling your heart and life with living things, living books, living music, living a full life..seeing life as a garden...all things in this garden should pray and give praise to God the Creator of all things. All things come from Him and all things should go back to Him as a hymm of thanksgiving and prayer. It is the peace that only He can give, the calm amidst the storm. It is being the heart of the home and modeling the virtues of Our Lady...in her care we will be tended to as a garden...weeded, pruned, trainded up in her school of secret virtues....living in her secret garden of virtue and love...did you notice that She doesn't speak much in the bible? She does act! She says "I am the handmaid of the Lord...""Do as He tells you" and she STANDS at the foot of the cross...what strength! What a LADY!!   

Simplicty is an art! It is an art of living higher...it is the opposite of its vice...elegant is opposite the crude Albert Einstein once said" Out of clutter, find simplicity."

Here are some quotes from my notes on Simplicity. I am working on a virutes project with the children that also involve the Mary Garden and the Virtues of Our Lady...it is still a work in progress...I hope great things from it!!
"Simplicity, carried to an extreme, becomes elegance." Jon Franklin
"Less is more. God is in the details." (Mies van der Rohe)
"Simplicity doesn't mean to live in misery and poverty. You have what you need, and you don't want to have what you don't need." (Charan Singh)
"Eliminate physical clutter. More importantly, eliminate spiritual clutter." ~D.H. Mondfleur

To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter... to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird's nest or a wildflower in spring - these are some of the rewards of the simple life. ~John Burroughs
The best things in life are nearest: Breath in your nostrils, light in your eyes, flowers at your feet, duties at your hand, the path of right just before you. Then do not grasp at the stars, but do life's plain, common work as it comes, certain that daily duties and daily bread are the sweetest things in life. ~Robert Louis Stevenson
Live simply that others might simply live. ~Elizabeth Seton
As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness. ~Henry David Thoreau
We don't need to increase our goods nearly as much as we need to scale down our wants. Not wanting something is as good as possessing it. ~Donald Horban
The sculptor produces the beautiful statue by chipping away such parts of the marble block as are not needed - it is a process of elimination. ~Elbert Hubbard
“Simplicity is the final achievement. After one has played a vast quantity of notes and more notes, it is simplicity that emerges as the crowning reward of art.”
Frederic Chopin
“The simplest things are often the truest.”
“Simplicity is the nature of great souls.”
“Simplicity is indeed often the sign of truth and a criterion of beauty.”
“There is a certain majesty in simplicity which is far above all the quaintness of wit.”
Alexander Pope
“Simplicity, clarity, singleness: These are the attributes that give our lives power and vividness and joy as they are also the marks of great art. They seem to be the purpose of God for his whole creation.”
Richard Holloway
The little things? The little moments? They aren't little.
John Zabat-Zinn
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.   It turns what we have
into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos
to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast,
a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes
sense of our past, brings peace for today,
and creates a vision for tomorrow.
Melody Beattie
Simplicity in character, in manners, in style; in all things the supreme excellence is simplicity.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


I hope THIS post isn't too long...hahaha


~sorry you asked

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Posted: July 12 2006 at 8:39pm | IP Logged Quote TracyQ

Wow.   

Thank you for taking the time to share this. You have said everything that's been in my heart, and that I've wanted to understand, but could never express properly for a long, long time. I so appreciate you sharing it with us.

May God bless you in your simplicity.

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Posted: July 12 2006 at 10:13pm | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

That is just amazing! I think it is one of the best, truest things I have read in a long time! Thank you!
I LONG for simplicity and I think compared to many we live a very simple life. But I am not where I need to be, I know.

Now, how to achieve this simplicity? One step at a time, but which is the first and where from there?
I know no one can really answer that for me, but perhaps we can accompany each other on this path to simplicity?

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Posted: July 12 2006 at 10:32pm | IP Logged Quote MaryMary

Donna Marie, I could just KISS you!!! Your reflection above made my day. Thank-you for your inspiring words.

Mary

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Posted: July 13 2006 at 4:48am | IP Logged Quote Molly Smith

Donna Marie, that was absolutely beautiful! What an incredible way to start my day. I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to print your post and hang on to it for inspiration.

I have a friend who is expecting her 12th child, but the first time I was to her house was to bring them a meal after a miscarriage last year. Going to a home with 11 children, I'll admit to having some preconceived notions . I drive up to a large-ish house with a beautiful, recently added, front porch. There were chairs enough for all, along with some lovely plants and decorative touches.

I walked into the house and immediately felt calm. The colors on her walls were so warm and calming and there were few overhead lights on--mostly table lamps. The foyer held a narrow table adorned with a few choice statues with a religious picture hanging on the wall above it. The dining room had a clean table, big enough for all, situated on an angle to fit in the small room, along with a tall floor plant in one corner.

Their living room was a true place of prayer. It was small, but it held a couple of comfy armchairs, again some small plants, and a low table covered in beautiful lace and displaying a gorgeous Infant of Prague that was being lent to them during their difficult time.

The kitchen counters were clear--no mail, no canisters, nothing but maybe a few votives and kitchen necessities. There was an eating area in the kitchen, but they chose to leave it clear to allow more people to help out. The family room off of the kitchen, I was very surprised to see, had a large TV and a huge sectional--room enough for the whole family to hang out. It was the most casual room, but still not cluttered.

Lest you thing that any of this sounds sterile, it was quite the opposite. It was so inviting that I didn't want to leave! I didn't go upstairs (or to the basement), so for all I know, their closets were jammed full, beds unmade, laundry on the floor, school books everywhere, but I highly doubt it. Everything was peaceful, clean, free from clutter, so I have every reason to think that this way of living has permeated through the house.

I don't know if I can ever achieve that. I truly try, but it's just not happening. I can declutter one area, but then it just pops up somewhere else. It's not just a matter of decluttering, I need to GET RID OF 1/2 the stuff in my house! Remove it from the premises. Usually I get this bug before a new baby, especially the clean-everyone's-closet-bug, so I'm waiting for it to kick in .

BUT, between Donna Marie's post, and the image of my friend's home, I hope to find the inspiration to get off my duff and work towards these ends.


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Posted: July 13 2006 at 5:02am | IP Logged Quote Diane

Very beautiful, Donna Marie, one to print out and keep for those moments when my head is whirling and my heart is heavy and I need a bit of inspiration. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us, and please don't ever apologize for writing a long post.

I long for this sort of elegant simplicity in my home, because I think it naturally brings joy and peace to each member of the family. Simplicity, order, beauty, peace---they walk hand in hand.   We mothers set the stage. There are so many different dimensions to this, so many areas of my life where I need to embrace this simplicity. I must declutter my house, of course, but also my schedule, my educational plans, my mind, and my heart. As Theresa said, where to begin? It can seem so overwhelming.

Yet maybe I complicate the quest for simplicity just as I do everything else. Maybe the answer is really very simple. It begins with a surrender to God, allowing Him to show me the wheres and the hows. It begins with practicing the presence of God in each moment of my life, welcoming each gift sent from Him, even---especially---the ones that are hard to accept. It begins with letting God soften my heart and giving up my will, my inclination to try to control everything. Simple, yes, but not easy at all.

To me, Mother Teresa is an ideal model of elegant simplicity. From her white and blue sari to her simple, uncomprising words of love, from the deep wrinkles covering her face to the way she poured out her life for the poorest of the poor, she embodied true Beauty. Her life belonged completely to God, and every soul she touched knew it.

Blessed Teresa, pray for us.


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Posted: July 13 2006 at 5:13am | IP Logged Quote Donna

Thank you, Donna. I'm printing this one off to lay on my bedside table.

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Posted: July 13 2006 at 6:11am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

Printing, printing...to read with tea.

Donna, this is lovely!

And Molly, you SO live this elegant simplicity--I've seen it in person.

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Posted: July 13 2006 at 6:14am | IP Logged Quote Dawn

Donna Marie, I am so moved by your post. I just left a comment at your blog (and linked to your post in mine ) and like everyone else, am printing this out to savor over tea this afternoon. What an inspiration!

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Posted: July 13 2006 at 6:34am | IP Logged Quote Diane

Molly, at the same time that I was blabbing on philosophically , you gave us a very practical and helpful image of what this looks like in real life. Thank you. I'm inspired.

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Posted: July 13 2006 at 6:49am | IP Logged Quote Genevieve

I personally would love to see photos of such environments or better yet see one in action. At first, I imagined it to be one like that of Martha Stewart or Real Simple. Donna & Molly, you have put into words the emotional and spiritual aspect of a beautiful home. These post also reminded me of another article I read a long time ago.

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Posted: July 13 2006 at 8:31am | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

Donna Marie wrote:
~sorry you asked



Oh, I'm ever so glad I did.
Beautiful, DOnna Marie. Beautiful!

It's a keeper, for sure.

And, Molly, thank you for sharing the image of your friend's house. You did it so well.    

Between the two I really see how "elegant simplicity" can work in a home.

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Posted: July 13 2006 at 11:55am | IP Logged Quote Donna Marie

I am floored at your kind comments! Like I mentioned to Cay at her blog, if you find anything useful here, it is just the Holy Spirit...and if that is the case, I am very happy to lend Him my keyboard.

This is something that I have been struggling with and praying about for sometime. Sometimes I feel like I have to be an oasis in the midst of a lot of chaos...and I was wondering how I could possibly be that when I wanted someone to be an oasis for ME! You know, that surprising God we have left a thought in me that I will find my oasis as I serve Him better.

Someone once told me that God is with us in the most simple of ways....so I keep looking for Him like that around me and I try to capture that for others. I do better with a rag in one hand and a broom in the other at times. Sometimes when I talk in real life...haha...it is hard to tell people what is written on my heart so that they will understand. I find that actions do speak louder than my words...it makes the thoughts of love almost touchable....maybe it is better that way

Molly, Thank you sooo much for the picture you paint in my mind! Being highly visual...      this is exactly what I needed!! I need to "see" that yes, it can be done because I see others can do it too! Too many other people in my life have more money, bigger homes, less children...they use their homes as B&B's and they do not live in so they always look great...so where is my example of gentility in my circumstances....?? I struggle with the dirt and fingerprints and such...but I know I am sllloooowwwlllyy finding my way through it...

I am trying to be an abassador of caring for the kids...I need to teach them to care about where they put their dirty feet and cups of milk....so we are working on that...in the gentlest way I can...I do have time (I always feel like I don't)...and I better use it well! "I have my mission!!" says St John Newman....I found this quote about six years ago when dealing with what I thought was a very difficult situation and it put it into perspective for me....I never let go of it...I meant to add it yesterday...it is my favorite...here is the quote:

" God has created me to do him some definite service; He has committed some work to me which he has not committed to another. I have my mission; I never may know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I have a part in a great work; I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught. I shall do good, I shall do His work; I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it, if I do but keep His commandments and serve Him in my calling."

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Posted: July 13 2006 at 12:08pm | IP Logged Quote Donna Marie

Genevieve wrote:
Donna & Molly, you have put into words the emotional and spiritual aspect of a beautiful home. These post also reminded me of another article I read a long time ago.

Thank you for sharing this, Genevieve! This is what I am always struggling against:

"We live in world driven by practicality. Everything must be efficient, easy to clean and inexpensive. People want quick meals, comfortable clothing and bargains. Sadly, one of the results of this compulsion to be practical and get to the bottom line is that beauty has been trampled to death."

I want our surroundings, all our dealings to lift us higher in some way....like for example...beautiful old churches....the music and art lifts me higher than my own immagination, beyond myself and my current circumstances (whatever they may be) I find it so very hard to be contemplative in a stark modernistic church I was in one where I felt like I was in a gym...and it was as loud and as disorganized as one.

We have seek God in the ordinary and then it is no longer ordinary, it is extraordinary...everything is a gift from Him that must go back to Him...
"We should try each day, in some small ways, to reflect the beauty of God and the beauty of the world that He has given to us, written on our hearts." ...very true!

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Posted: July 15 2006 at 6:16am | IP Logged Quote Molly Smith

Elizabeth wrote:
And Molly, you SO live this elegant simplicity--I've seen it in person.


Dear friend, you are too kind , but it's been a while since you were here .

But, after pondering on this for a few days I am happy to have a plan in my mind. I'm going to start with my bedroom, since it hasn't deteriorated too much since the last time I tried to "simplify elegantly". And the main level will get a room-by-room junk makeover, since it, too, isn't horrendous (save the study/school area). I would like to add some nice touches like flowers or plants, and maybe work on my lighting--those are the main things that stand out in my mind as being so calming in my friend's house (aside from the lack of junk). And I HAVE to work on setting up our family altar.

Then I'll work on the boys' clothes and lastly the girls' clothes. Their rooms would not be too bad at all, if there were no clothes in them . Our playroom is in the attic, so I don't worry so much about that since no one goes up there but the kids! They keep it in decent shape, and we usually keep most of the toys up there. Many have migrated down to their rooms, though, so it's time to move back. I can delegate that, though.

All this to say that the topic has hit home, my nesting is starting to kick in, and hopefully we'll make some progress around here in the next 10 weeks.





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Posted: July 15 2006 at 7:17am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

I re-worked this blog entry for Catholic Exchange yesterday. And the editor there kept insisting I need to "flesh out" (read: add 200 or more words) this line: Do we look like a lady and do our homes reflect that a lady lives there because that is what is pleasing to God?

I tried to tell her that the "home" thing was a whole new column and I hadn't written it yet but she was persistent. So I gave her a couple of paragraphs and then all the "homes of ladies" thoughts just wouldn't go away. I ended up blogging it today. Now if I could just live it...

I do think that this perspective is so much healthier spiritually than the popular cultural perspective of al those decorator magazines. We're doing good work here ladies, refining a vision that brings glory to God and greatly pleases Our Lady.

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Posted: July 15 2006 at 9:27am | IP Logged Quote momwise

Elizabeth wrote:
We're doing good work here ladies, refining a vision that brings glory to God and greatly pleases Our Lady.


And hopefully moves our dh's soul to grow in holiness through the peace and gentle atmosphere as he walks through the front door...

Molly, your beautiful description of your friend's home is just exactly what my dh longs for but does not put into words. Yesterday I spent a few moments sprucing up the flower bed by the front door for him and today I will be giving some time to creating an outdoor seating area where there is a pile of lawn chairs and junk.

Next week, I hope I can achieve a fraction of what some of you accomplish on the indoors

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