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AnaB
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| Posted: April 09 2014 at 12:08pm | IP Logged
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I have always taught using CM methods, in fact, learning about CM is what inspired me to homeschool. My first 3 children are close together in age, so I was able to school them together. We spent our mornings in the Word, spent our afternoons in read alouds and art study, and enjoyed such rich discussions. They loved to learn and bring home piles of books from the library each week. They still love to learn and can each write well. They are now in late highschool and dual enrolled and are schooling themsleves.
Now enter my 4th child. She has ADHD and dyslexia and is very emotional and dramatic. Reading is still a struggle to her at 10yrs old. We had to start over in math as we had focused on reading for so long (and still do) that I didn't realize that she didn't understand basic math (so she has dyscalculia). Teaching her has required all my energy and I have just about burnt out with homeschooling. She is a creative messy that spreads her "creativity" everywhere she goes. But on top of all this I have a very needy 2 yr old, autoimmune disease, and my father in law with early Alzheimer's moved in with us in November and my husband travels 4+ days a week.
In the process of focusing on the basics with my daughter, there is little time or energy to spend on the aspects of CM education that inspire me. The emotion and and time and energy that I use just to do our All About Reading and addition/subtraction math pages is very draining. I have so much less time in this season of my life to enjoy homeschooling as I once did.
How do I adjust CM for this child and this season in my life? I have to let go of all my previous experiences and expectations. I need to discern the Lord's plans for our homeschooling now and how to reach the heart of my very challenging little girl, so full of spunk. I covet your ideas and suggestions and experiences.
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His By Grace, AnaB blessed WIFE to Jeff and mama to 4 blessings!
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JuliaT
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| Posted: April 09 2014 at 6:34pm | IP Logged
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My dd sounds very similar to yours. She is 11 but is not reading at all yet. I think she has dyslexia but have not had her tested. I teach her as if she is dyslexic. She has difficulties with math as well. Our days are full of drama and meltdowns. There are many days when we are doing her reading lessons that they end up with her as a puddle on the floor. She is exhausting to teach.
I think she, even more than my other children, need a CM education. Her learning difficulties tear her apart. Her soul needs all that is true, good and beautiful. Charlotte Mason can do that.
I fill her up with classical music, stories of her favourite composers, opportunities to imitate the great masters of art and well written words of poetry and literature. These things calm her down, they bring her peace. I don't always have the time to read to her as much as I would like but that is where audio books come in.
I don't have the same life issues that you have but I am raising my children by myself, I know about exhaustion and all the other demands that comes along with life. I find that I need CM as well. I need the filling up, the beautiful, the true and the good just as much as M. does.
I don't do full Charlotte Mason with her, I just pick the things that speak to her soul. For now, that is enough.
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Blessings,
Julia
mom of 3(14,13 & 11 yrs.old)
MusingsofaPrairieGirl
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AnaB
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| Posted: April 10 2014 at 11:03am | IP Logged
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Julia, your post was so beautiful. You painted the picture of the homeschool I want to create again--that I once had. I feel so spread thin between the varying needs of all in my home. The older kids now need me to help them with all their essays and papers. Father in law needs me to talk with him or to help him with his meds. Toddler is just needy by nature. When hubby is home, I make him and being with him a priority for our own marriage sake. Then I fight fatigue and anxiety each day. There are days my body shuts down. All these excuses.
In fact, I start to experience the familiar pangs of anxiety attacks on Sunday, just thinking of homeschooling. I don't know how I got to this point. I've taken a little time off from my schooling her (she is still doing some independent schooling) so that I can recuperate and seek the Lord.
For a long time I was in denial about her learning disabilities and didn't really address them. Now, it's the bulk of the schooling and it's not as enjoyable. We are both spent after reading lessons and math. My days fill up before I know it or I have to lay down because I can't hold my head up and once again, we have not schooled together. We do still have lots of talks--she is a talker and I'm glad because it keeps us connected.
I'm just not sure how to go back to that cozy, enjoyable homeschool day that I once had with the olders. Thank you for your reply.
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His By Grace, AnaB blessed WIFE to Jeff and mama to 4 blessings!
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 10 2014 at 11:17am | IP Logged
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Sounds like you need some good high quality, high doseage multivitamin.. especially B vitamins.
also, I don't know how your daughter is. But sometimes if you can break those difficult sessions into smaller ones you don't get so emotionally exhausted because you can stop before the emotions take over.. and then pick it up again later. It worked well for us to do several small reading lessons a day when a child was overwhelmed with it.. because one they hit a point of frustration they weren't learning anyway.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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LLMom
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| Posted: April 10 2014 at 12:27pm | IP Logged
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Ana,
She sounds like my 9 year old dyslexic dd. I have finally come to realize that CM method might not be best for these types of kids. Reading is hard for them and most do not enjoy it unless someone else is doing the reading. I have now decided that I want her to love stories instead of reading. We utilize Books on CD now a lot because I don't have the time and energy to read her everything. We do copywork to help with her spelling and punctuation. I am utilizing a lot of hands-on stuff, computer software, and audio/video stuff for her to use.
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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
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Mackfam
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| Posted: April 10 2014 at 1:59pm | IP Logged
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Hi Ana,
I want to encourage you! I've dealt with dyslexia in one of my children and this child has mastered challenges at this point - I don't credit anything I've done. I credit CM's methods and philosophies for helping her in skill and fostering relationships for this child - relationships between ideas and persons.
I think CM is a wonderful fit for all children, including (perhaps especially) those with dyslexia or special learning challenges. I love what Julia said about her daughter's soul really NEEDING what was good, true and beautiful and her recognition that CM can provide that. The underlying reason for this is that CM's philosophy is rooted in a child as person - an Image of God. In other words, it facilitates us (teacher/mom) in bringing an education that is rich and living to our very individual children. The methods (like narration and copy work) are so respectful; they meet the child right where they are - wherever that is. That means that copy work in your dd's instance doesn't have to be a "generic-set-amount-from-a-4th-grade-workbook"...but rather, it is taken from her reading, something she enjoys, and might be two words to help her work on correctly visualizing and writing letters. It's short (10 min!), and isn't overwhelming for her.
Don't be afraid to seek what CM did or said on a particular topic...and then prayerfully turn it over in light of your family. Many times, the CM application is far and away simpler and more efficient than I had either (a) envisioned it, (b) someone told me their interpretation of how something should be done ala-CM...but it turns out CM herself was the better teacher. Give yourself a little time to look into those areas you'd like to learn more about.
AnaB wrote:
| I'm just not sure how to go back to that cozy, enjoyable homeschool day that I once had with the olders. |
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I'm going to offer some suggestions, and they're only that - suggestions! Take anything that seems workable. Bend anything that seems like it might fit if adjusted here or there. And feel free to walk away from anything that doesn't bring peace.
A word of caution - that initial chemistry and atmosphere you had with your older children was unique to that time, that season of your life. You won't be able to recreate it. It is a treasure within your memories. Cherish it and give yourself permission to begin to carve out a new atmosphere of learning for this season's unique needs. :)
Ok...ideas...
1) First - take care of yourself. Make this a priority. It includes physical health, adequate sleep, decent nutrition, and reclaiming a prayer life if that seems lacking. Think simple - a Morning Offering and a Memorare for your day in the morning and 3 Hail Marys and a St. Michael in the evening. Rearrange things in your day to make this possible. You can't nurse, tend, cook, home educate, or be present if you are burned out and not functioning (ideally from a place of peace). Also in this category: identify one small thing you truly enjoy! A cup of coffee or tea? Reading a novel for 15 minutes? Painting your nails? Eating a little dark chocolate after everyone is in bed? Whatever this small pleasure is - make a list of a few and begin to incorporate these little gems. They are refreshing and give you something to look forward to!
2) I know you've given a great deal of time to identifying your dd's learning challenges, and I'm not suggesting you take away the time investment you've spent in identifying it. But maybe it would be a respite if her day didn't revolve around it. Shorten lessons. Focus less on dyslexia as a name, and more on tools that can help move days forward...like visualization techniques. Yes - dyslexia needs tools. (Consider audio books to help you with read alouds! and let her focus on reading level appropriate reading to you) But don't let dyslexia author the day. Does that make sense? St. Paul tells us to think about whatever is true, whatever is beautiful, honorable, lovely, gracious, excellent. Spend some time considering the ideal St. Paul sets for us and prayerfully consider: How can this verse help me set an atmosphere of loveliness and beauty in my home, and especially within my home education of this child?
3) CM Idea - Shorten ALL your lessons - 10 minutes max. Maybe just for a while. This can give both you and your daughter some time and space. For you, it's time to build good routines to take care of yourself. For your daughter, the extra time will be to build good habits in areas that tend to threaten your school day. Like you, I have a couple of intense and emotional kids. These kids need lots of love and good, healthy boundaries and they thrive!
4) CM Idea - Read wonderful literature to her. But since your time is claimed in so many areas, dig around for great audio books. Invest some time in setting up her ipod/mp3 player/ereader/tablet. Have a goal of getting MUCH of her work lined up for her in audio while you're investing your time in her reading skill.
5) CM Idea - Instead of questions at the end of chapters or workbook stuff, ask your daughter to narrate her reading to you. Maybe while you're cooking dinner or folding laundry.
6) CM Idea - Spend 15 minutes outside - at least once a week. Together. Challenge yourselves - what can you find that you haven't seen before? Something small? A sign of spring? You can set some easy questions. Then...bring the "thing" or a picture of the thing inside and draw it in a notebook.
7) CM Idea - Dictation rather than a spelling curriculum. This one tool, I really believe, held the key for my dyslexic. You may need to wait a year or so before beginning dictation, but I wanted to suggest it for something to consider. Because dictation follows the short lesson model, children don't become overwhelmed with 20 spelling words. Because dictation makes use of visualization of a word as a tool in learning to spell, the dyslexic makes a habit of *seeing* a word in their minds eye with the letters formed in a certain order. I truly believe that simple dictation lessons were instrumental and especially helpful for my dyslexic. Not only for spelling but also for reading.
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I had a few other ideas, but I need to run and get back to my day here, Ana! I really wanted to take a minute to encourage you! You are on the right track! I'm praying for you as you seek beauty and loveliness in your days with your daughter. Many prayers and  !!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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AnaB
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| Posted: April 10 2014 at 8:45pm | IP Logged
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OH Jen!!!! I was hoping you would chime in! Yes, these are good ideas. You've given me alot to think about. I have all these ideals, but so much of my day is not in my control, that I don't get to them!! That, then depresses me. Today, I ended up taking an elderly friend who sounded like she had pneumonia to the urgent care. That was not on my schedule, but it was what the Lord had for me today.
But yes, I need to make better use of the ipod. Do you have an Audible account? I've always wondered if that was something that would be useful to us.
I've tried dictation, and French dictation (by using The Arrow) with her, but she truly could only do like 3 words. I do have your language arts series printed out and have read it several times, maybe I should read it again.
This creative child of mine, the moment I leave her for 5 minutes, moves on to some other interest (ADHD) and immerses herself in playing (making a mess). Just this morning, I left her doing some practice math problems with starfall math and next thing I knew, she had 8 windows open of things at Target that she wanted to get. Other times she would start a paper craft of her invention and have all of the floor covered in little scraps. Then there is drama to get her to clean it up. We lost that little window of time to do some school and we are exhausted from all the emotion.
What you said about the need to NOT try to recreate that cozy homeschool I once had is so true. The Lord is dealing with me in this. I even think I have grieved the loss of those years. I think I'm also still healing my heart from the emotional drama that has accompanied any schooling of my dear child. Her mood swing have become progressively severe over the years. For some reason, learning she has dyslexia and dyscalculia has been a relief to her and that has helped a little.
I'm looking for online ways to outsource some of the math and reading practice and eye tracking practice, so that we can just read. But the Lord is still healing my heart. My anxiety has surprised me. I am waiting to see what the Lord has for me to learn during this season. I look forward to your other ideas as I covet your prayers!
Ana Betty
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His By Grace, AnaB blessed WIFE to Jeff and mama to 4 blessings!
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Kathryn
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| Posted: April 10 2014 at 9:23pm | IP Logged
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I have a DS, almost 14, that is very similar so I can empathize greatly. I want to read thru the posts and reply back when I have time...the ever elusive time.
However, I had to reply a little tongue in cheek humor that Julia's quote got to me...
JuliaT wrote:
| Our days are full of drama and meltdowns. |
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And I want to add that these not always from DS around here!     
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Kathryn in TX
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AnaB
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| Posted: April 12 2014 at 5:14pm | IP Logged
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Yes, my meltdowns are a little more quiet by nature, but true nonetheless!
Looking forward to the replies with you Kathryn!
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His By Grace, AnaB blessed WIFE to Jeff and mama to 4 blessings!
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AnaB
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| Posted: April 21 2014 at 1:30pm | IP Logged
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I have been also reading alot from Sarah's Teaching from a State of Rest and wondering how to fit all of these thoughts when considering my daughter and my circumstances and discerning how much or how little to do with her. I'd love your thoughts.
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His By Grace, AnaB blessed WIFE to Jeff and mama to 4 blessings!
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Angel
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| Posted: April 22 2014 at 9:16am | IP Logged
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Hi, Ana... I have some of those kids. Actually, all of my kids (8) share many of those traits, as well as their parents. This is what works in my house with (variously) ADHD, dyslexia, behavior problems:
1. My 11 year old dyslexic *finally* learned to read this past year, but I had to outsource it. He used Easyread, which was recommended in a thread on these boards. It wasn't cheap... but it was cheaper than a tutor or Barton, which were our other two options. I just couldn't spend the time with him that he needed to learn, so outsourcing was our best option. We did this after a year of vision therapy, which also helped lay a foundation for reading.
Until he could read, I filled him up with audio books. Your daughter could easily listen to these while she does art. I check various CM lists for recommended books and try to download as many as I can. At this point, he's probably listened to more classic literature than his older brother and sister had read or heard by the age of 11. He once told me that he didn't like *reading*, but he did like *stories*. That's a crucial difference. I never wanted him to be bereft of stories just because he couldn't read and had a bunch of high-maintenance younger brothers.
Math we did ourselves, using a book. I used Saxon 5/4. It's taken us two years to get through the book. At first I had to sit with him and read everything to him, then sit right next to him while he did every problem.
I do try to operate with my kids' talents in mind, rather than focusing only on the disabilities, which is tempting. For my ds, it's science and engineering. So we've done a lot of Lego narrations. For my oldest, it was just creativity, plain and simple. I had to allow a lot of room for imagination -- art, making up stories, etc. If these weren't included in our day, it went badly.
And with the behavior problems we've dealt with over the years -- because of ADHD and Tourette Syndrome -- I've had to learn to choose my battles. I choose the most important things (to me) to require and then I steel myself to stand my ground on those things. I don't pick too many -- at the most 3, if we're talking about school subjects -- possibly even just 1 thing -- and then I try to be as absolutely consistent as I can. At some points in our life, that has meant actually sitting on a child so he could calm down and stop destroying our house. It is exhausting. But sometimes it is just what has to be done, and all you can do is pray and cry in the bathroom.
I almost definitely have celiac and a lot of food sensitivities which I've discovered through trial and error over the years, and I have to say that once I figured out that my food was making me feel bad and I changed my diet -- and thus my family's diet -- it made a HUGE improvement in how I felt and the behavior problems in my house. Overhauling our diet and basically having to cook everything from scratch is NOT easy, and I have had to put most of my energy into it for the past 3 years. Therefore, the homeschooling has not been perfect... but our days together have been better. The kids are healthier and calmer. Removing gluten from our diets didn't "cure" ADHD or dyslexia, but it has erased a lot of the other behavior problems we were having and made it a lot easier for all of us to concentrate. When I have a down day, I *know* the diet is making a difference, because I don't have the energy to deal with any of this.
I've been reading some books with widely different approaches to a diet for autoimmune diseases and they all seem to advocate LOTS of vegetables and seafood/omega 3's, 2-3x a week, regardless of whether or not they tell you to remove gluten or grains or whatever. They also tell you to remove dairy, which -- not sure I'm up to being completely dairy free -- but the vegetables, I'm trying to do. Feel free to pm me if you'd like any titles or just want to talk!
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Angela
Mom to 9, 7 boys and 2 girls
Three Plus Two
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AnaB
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| Posted: April 22 2014 at 1:29pm | IP Logged
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Thank you Angela, for your words. I will look into Easyread. I do spend lots of time in the kitchen and lots of time just trying to figure out my autoimmune issues. Some days are great and other days I have alot of fatigue and brain fog and everyday noise and activities feel overwhelming.
I am struggling with even my attitude to homeschool because it is usually so wrought with emotional outbursts for my daughter. And to think I'm just dealing with one child who has these issues and you with 8! I do appreciate your experience and hope to touch base with you soon!
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His By Grace, AnaB blessed WIFE to Jeff and mama to 4 blessings!
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: CM & The Difficult Child, Is It Possible?
