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CrunchyMom
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Posted: Feb 24 2012 at 10:55am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

I really, really like Charlotte Mason's principles, and I when I see them in action as in the Ambleside International schools, I can imagine sending my child there if it were an option.

But, in practice in my own home, I have a hard time with the discipline aspect. I'm almost positive that part of this is laziness on my part.

However, for instance, this morning, my 7.5 year old did his math assignment, couldn't find his ETC book, and since I went to check up on things, he's been sitting for the past 2 hours reading "Black Ships Before Troy" which is FAR more advanced than the assignments that would be required of him on his checklist.

I just can't bring myself to ask him to put it down so that he can do "school" nor do I want to make it "school" since he obviously enjoys it enough to pursue it on his own. It feels like "Schoolifying" it would be a mistake.

Obviously, I don't need anyone's permission to be an unschooler. I do keep fighting it, though, because I really do see how a more disciplined approach can be beneficial.

AND, part of me wonders if, instead of my being too lazy to do CM in a more dedicated way, I'm really too lazy to want to embrace unschooling. It seems like a lot more work to make unschooling work with multiple children.

I suppose this isn't a new question, and Melissa Wiley's posts on tidal homeschooling do speak to me.

Does anyone else experience this type of conflict? It just seems so wrong to interfere with my 7 year old loving Homer as if I could improve on that somehow.

If my child were not pursuing this on his own, I would feel more of a need for formal requirements. I'm not so unschooly that I would be satisfied with "whatever" my child wanted to do. I wouldn't have to push hard to get him to continue following my reading assignments, but I also think there is a subtle mental barrier where "school" isn't so much "fun" for him as independent reading.

He also likes to write stories and even copies things from books to go along with his pictures and things. So, while I'm not enforcing the *habits* of careful writing and copywork, he is putting pencil to paper and his handwriting is improving.

And he's not even 8 years old. I'm thinking that any formal requirements I make at present are about habits, and until 4-5th grade, the history and science he learns is gravy. He won't be "behind" in those subjects regardless of how I proceed. But will I regret not getting him into the habit of doing formal school work now for when those subjects might require more structure?

I do ask him informally to tell me about what he's reading without calling it a narration, just so I know what he's getting and also for the practice in narrating. Is that enough? I also have plans in the works for a relaxed way to make sure that we're doing fine arts, poetry, and geography somewhat regularly, and I can see how I could use this to add some formal copywork and memorization (as well as picture studies and composer studies) to the mix, even if it isn't so rigidly on a schedule.

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Posted: Feb 24 2012 at 11:35am | IP Logged Quote cvbmom

I hear you, Lindsay, you aren't alone
This morning, all the children were VERY into Origami and creating some great works of art. I didn't have the heart to bring everyone over for "bookwork." It does just seem wrong to interfere. That's the freedom of homeschooling! I'm pretty sure I'm an unschooler at heart, though my school-programmed brain keeps telling me to do more in terms of "curriculum"

God bless,
Christine

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Posted: Feb 24 2012 at 2:09pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

Ah but don't you also want the habits of learning on your own and reading good quality literature? He's 7.5yrs.. you have LOTS of time to instill school-y habits still.

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Posted: Feb 24 2012 at 2:50pm | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

Sounds to me like he is developing some mighty fine habits all on his own:
He enjoys reading quality literature.
He likes writing stories.
His handwriting is improving.

I say if it isn't broke, don't fix it.


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Posted: Feb 24 2012 at 3:22pm | IP Logged Quote margot helene

Hi Lindsay,
I feel your agony!! I felt myself pulled in all different directions, too. I think it's OK to not have a label; to be an unschooler or a CMer. Here's an anecdote I often tell people. I had a heck of a time getting my #2 son to sit and work, especially on Math. Once time I went upstairs to check on him and instead of doing the math, he was reading the dictionary. I got really upset with him and told him to get that math lesson done. He was probably 4th grade at this time. Later I thought what a sillyhead I was and thought that maybe be got way more out of reading the dictionary than doing the boring, drill-based math lesson at nine years old. To end this story . . . he just got accepted at TAC!! yeah! It was his intellectual curiosity that led the way and I really just needed to get out of the way!
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Posted: Feb 24 2012 at 3:26pm | IP Logged Quote mama2many

YAY, I'm not alone.. we're kinda skipping a lot of science and history right now (oldest is 11) but this year we're in CHAOS, we're moving and I'm still working out the kinks, so.... we're learning about where we're moving, using Little passports, and they're learning how to PLAY with each other!!
LOTS of reading, and math...but not so much.. formal learning (my husband might be driven mad)

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Posted: Feb 24 2012 at 3:54pm | IP Logged Quote SallyT

No, I think what you're describing is Good Mother Instinct. You can't plan for the times when you have to back off -- you plan on the assumption that formal school needs to be done, because of the benefits of which you're already convinced, and blah blah blah, all of which is true, and that's your baseline MO. But then you wing those moments when what the child is doing replaces or surpasses whatever you had planned. That's when you wing it right out of the room.

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Posted: Feb 24 2012 at 3:59pm | IP Logged Quote ekbell

I consider the ability to put down even worthy reading in order to do what needs to be done a vital life skill (and one I continue to need work on) but at this age chores, mealtimes and the like provide plenty of opportunity to work on such skills.

Having left my oldest to her own devices other then providing lots of materials in topics that she really liked (science), the main problem with formal studies later is finding material which actually covers something new to the child.

   I've found it lot easier to start asking the child to talk about what they like to find out about next and ask for more formal reports(narratives). Not so much formal parent guided study as a more formal student guided study.

BTW the best thing about my oldest's love and knowledge of science?

Being able to leave her in charge of teaching one of her younger sisters and knowing that a)they're both happy about it and b) she's doing a better job then I have time for.   
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Posted: Feb 24 2012 at 4:44pm | IP Logged Quote MamaFence

Whew, I'm in good company, I guess! So often I wonder if I'm failing my kids because I don't push more for copywork (but my 7 year old is working on a chapter book in her spare time), or push more for science/nature observation (but today they begged to stop at a lake to watch the myriad species there), or do more catechism (but my 5 yr old asks some deep questions and has a mature beyond her years spiritual wisdom).

I think it's discipline for myself that is lacking...

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Posted: Feb 24 2012 at 5:35pm | IP Logged Quote SeaStar

Oh, Lindsay....
Your son is reading Homer. I delayed the start of "school" by an hour this week just because we got a new washer with a clear top, and the kids were so excited they stood on chairs and watched the entire wash cycle.

I figured they were learning how a washer works. But I think that is why we are homeschooling and not doing school at home... so we can give our kids (while they are still kids) these happy moments.

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Posted: Feb 24 2012 at 5:59pm | IP Logged Quote KauaiCatholic

SeaStar wrote:
I figured they were learning how a washer works. But I think that is why we are homeschooling and not doing school at home... so we can give our kids (while they are still kids) these happy moments.




OH I LOVE THIS THREAD! in fact my response was so long I moved it over to Tea and Conversations ... thank you all for sharing!

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Posted: Feb 25 2012 at 6:37am | IP Logged Quote mariB

Dear Lindsay,
I think what you are allowing is the incredible beauty of homeschooling. I find myself allowing more and more of this type of learning. It allows the child to love to learn. I am really loving the book Free Range Learning. Just a few pages a day give me such relief as the day unfolds differently from what I have planned or imagined.

I do struggle with a type A personality (more so in the past) and now am concerned that it is through my own laziness that I allow more of a free learning style. I don't think it is laziness but more of the tendency to not interrupt the "real and geniune" process of learning.
When our forefathers learned at home. I truly believe it was more self learning and a lot less of "classroom".
Thank you so much for posting this thread. It has given me a little more confidence and relief to see another family taking this route.
blessings,
marianne

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Posted: Feb 25 2012 at 7:56am | IP Logged Quote hmbress

This is a great thread and very apropos for us as well. My 8yo son would happily spend his whole day reading (lots of history, biographies, science, My America series, religion, etc.), doing science experiments, making paper airplanes, building with Keva blocks, doing Snap Circuits, tangrams, play-doh, puzzles (including lots of Mathmania and Puzzlemania and similar magazines), doing his own Nature Study in the yard, climbing trees, drawing from the many Draw Write Now and similar books, teaching himself piano and recorder from starter music books, etc. I have worked hard to provide a stimulating environment in our home: building up a high-quality library, surrounding him with all these wonderful activities, and taking him to homeschool Spanish, health and PE classes, sports, plays, concerts, co-op, science and nature classes, etc.

What he does not tend to do on his own is much in the way of copywork, writing or proper narration. He reads so much, so fast, that by the time I ask him to tell me about something he is reading it ends up being more of a summary of an entire book than a narration. I do think that while he is learning much about history and science from his abundant reading, and developing a rich vocabulary and absorbing beautiful turns of phrase, he is not really getting the benefit of the most important goal of CM - namely attentiveness and careful reading.

I'm finding it hard to articulate what I mean here. I think my concern stems from my own experience as a child and student. I was also an avid reader, flying through any book (or newspaper or magazine) that I could find (although I did not have anything near the quality - or quantity - of living books that I provide my children). I did not learn to really study, as I absorbed most subjects so well in class that tests were a breeze. In high school, simply reviewing my notes on the bus to school was sufficient even for chemistry and physics tests.

And then I got to college and ended up with several Cs and Ds my first semester. What a shock! Part of this was because I assumed I could simply review my notes the night before the test - no longer sufficient! - but part was because when studying my engineering textbooks - and this continued for all 5 years I attended college - I could. not. keep my attention on what I was reading well enough to absorb it upon the first read. I almost always realized, after reading several paragraphs, that my mind had wandered and would have to re-read the passage 3 to 5 times before I actually "got" the material. It was similar to the way my mind wanders during prayer and I need to keep pulling myself back.

And so I would very much like to find a way to cultivate the habit of attentiveness and have not yet been successful in this. It's more about this than it is discipline and structure at this point. He gets that with our morning routine (although he does tend to get distracted while doing chores). On lesson days we always start with the formal math lesson and copywork/dictation, and perhaps some Latin and notebooking something from our current history unit, then he is free to do as he likes for the rest of the day.

I want to add more but need to go for now ...

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Posted: Feb 25 2012 at 9:01am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

I am glad to be in such excellent company!

And yes, Heather, you have articulated many of my own feelings, which are what lead to any misgivings I have with my unschooling instincts.

I suppose this leads me to wonder about age regarding these questions. I know that 7-8 is still so young. Many cannot even read at this time--certainly not at the level ds7 is, and yet, his reading level is not necessarily indicative of maturity.

I guess I'm wondering how important Charlotte Mason's principles are as applied to age and sensitivity. Am I missing a window here where he is most sensitive to learning the habit of attention and careful reading, or is the opposite true? If I pushed formal schooling, would I be hurting a window where he is nurturing a passion for learning and the more formal habits can easily be learned in a couple of years?

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Posted: Feb 25 2012 at 8:13pm | IP Logged Quote CatholicMommy

If he is LEARNING and you're providing lessons here and there - he is doing wonderful!

For the record, my son loves Homer-style books. He's not quite ready for the full official versions (though he's TRIED!), but what you described in your original post is almost exactly what we experienced here this morning. He was supposed to be doing something school-ish-related (I can't even remember what!), but I found the kid hidden under a pile of blankets on the couch reading Lord of the Rings - and taking NOTES on the virtues of the various characters... and even noting ideas he has for implementing them in HIMSELF!

How on earth could I possibly tell him to STOP!?

And, um, this boy is still 7 years old too....



But I allow for the unschooliness like this, because I know I'm presenting him what I call the "keys" so that I know he has a good foundation of knowledge. And he does have certain requirements each week so he learns to have that responsibility for getting requirements done in a timely manner, without being a huge burden (I want it to be just burden enough that he learns responsibility even when times are tough - strengthening him bit by bit, but not so much that it wears him down).



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Posted: Feb 25 2012 at 9:58pm | IP Logged Quote Mackfam

Your question really made me think, Lindsay. I'm going to be a bit reflective in my response. In looking back and connecting dots in my own history I think I've done much more growing "within" CM than away from, and it keeps coming back to the simplicity and efficiency for me.

Your part of the answer will of course settle into a philosophical area which you will prayerfully find your way toward - and this may take some time. It is also possible you may have to cultivate more discipline along the way; I have. It is also entirely possible for you to settle into more of an unschooling philosophy at the end of the day. And there isn't anything wrong with that and as you said, you certainly don't need my permission or blessing. What I'll try to do is maybe illustrate how what you're doing is really very CM even while looking unschooly. I'll try to point out some differences.    

The Story of Charlotte Mason, Foreword by E.F.B. and Editorial by E. Kitching wrote:
FOREWORD:
"Unlike so many of her predecessors she did not attempt to lay down a hard and fast system. Her methods are all flexible and suggestive, leaving scope for the personal child to develop according to his bent. Her chief concern was to free the individual, then to discern a way of progress, to show him a light ahead."

EDITORIAL:
Advice given by E.F.B. to Elsie Kitching in attempting CM's story:
"I am inclined to think that her work is in danger of being overlaid by too many interpreters and the simplicity of her message needs preserving."

Acknowledging that I could indeed be one of those interpreters that may overlay the simplicity of her message with too much of myself, I'm going to try to carefully step ahead anyway.

Keep that thought in mind - the simplicity and flexibility of the method. Also keep in mind that with that simplicity in CM there is a hidden depth that is very rich.

CrunchyMom wrote:
my 7.5 year old did his math assignment, couldn't find his ETC book, and since I went to check up on things, he's been sitting for the past 2 hours reading "Black Ships Before Troy" which is FAR more advanced than the assignments that would be required of him on his checklist.

I just can't bring myself to ask him to put it down so that he can do "school" nor do I want to make it "school" since he obviously enjoys it enough to pursue it on his own.

My quick and short answer is....I don't think you're necessarily eschewing CM if you walk past your 7.5 yo son, notice he is delighting in Black Ships Before Troy, and leave him to that delight. That's the first part of my answer though.

I do believe that in those earlier years, a Charlotte Mason education can sometimes look very similar to unschooling. I find that in earlier years, our days look this way and have a very gentle and joyful feel to them, yet they are not without some guidance and boundaries because I need those habits to act as levers. And these are the years for cultivating them!

An analogy would be the parable of the good seed - in order for the good seed of a Charlotte Mason living education to flourish in later years, the ground will need to be sufficiently fertile and open, softened by consistent watering with some of the more insidious bad habits (weeds) pulled. This is made possible through the early working of the ground in the laying down of good habits. Toss seed (no matter how living and beautiful) on closed, hard, dry ground and I think you can imagine what happens (or doesn't happen). It's also easy to see what the weeds of poor habits might do in choking out the sunshine and water to the seed. Now, I don't see this good habit development as exclusive to CM and therefore somehow not a part of unschooling - not at all - but it is something that is intentionally and consistently nurtured and emphasized as part of CM and one of the reasons it is so nurtured and so important is because of the rigor of CM (esp. later years) and the nature of self-education, which is characteristic of CM.

Let me give you some thoughts from CM herself as she spoke of those early years just because I think it illustrates that following what seemed a common sense *rightness* today is not the antithesis of CM for this age.........like CM would be something you'd have to turn back toward if you allowed a child to read following their own interests. Not the case. (She's speaking of early learning here, by the way, 6-7yo ish)

Charlotte Mason, Home Education, p. 178 wrote:
That the child, though under supervision, should be left much to himself - both that he may go to work in his own way on the ideas he receives, and also that he may be the more open to natural influences.

Now, if I look at your original question regarding your young son reading a book on his own, and if I then look to Miss Mason's thoughts above, I see nothing at odds. In other words, your son's chosen path of delight which led him to a book, AND your subsequent allowing him to continue reading, is not mutually exclusive of a Charlotte Mason education. You chose to step aside and allow him "the better part" with regard to use of his time. This is not a lack of discipline, strictly speaking. In actuality, what you chose to do is *Masterly Inactivity*. This is wise and purposeful letting alone at its best.

So, in my home if this scenario occurred, I'd probably notice it, and make a decision to allow my 7.5 yo child to continue reading. Then, at some other point in the day like a lunch peg, or an after-lunch-play-outside peg, I'd probably call him back to the lessons of the day. And I'd probably do so having prepared as much as possible - books together, quietest part of the day, the way made as smooth as possible through any preparations I need to make. A 7.5 year old SHOULD have much room to move in the day in terms of his own pursuits - margins. Like you, I wouldn't redirect him when he has found his way to purposeful work in the margin of a day.

When you think of the discipline part of CM's philosophy of education, it's important to remember that she did not intend *discipline* in terms of a military enforcement of a day's proposed work, nor did she intend a stifling or suffocating structure. She intended the discipline of good habits - the habits form the shape and depth of the wide room in which the children are set; they are the boundaries and they do act as leverage for a Charlotte Mason education, which becomes quite rigorous.

So, I've spoken to the nature of a CM day that could look very unschooly.

CrunchyMom wrote:
And he's not even 8 years old. I'm thinking that any formal requirements I make at present are about habits, and until 4-5th grade, the history and science he learns is gravy. He won't be "behind" in those subjects regardless of how I proceed.

This is one of the reasons I think this is magnified to an extent for you right now. And, I have to acknowledge that I'm speaking from a very CM point of view. I can be very relaxed, which I suppose could also just be another way of conveying a peace about where we are and what we're doing, but anytime a child moves in an individual direction and I choose to leave them alone to be purposeful (Masterly Inactivity) there will at some point be a gentle calling back (could be later in the day, or the next day) to the day's duties.

When my learners are young the calling-back is something I extend. I do so gently and without a lot of fanfare and IF the day's work is set up in a pleasing way, and IF I've been present and watchful during their time spent reading/investigating (MI) I can almost always find an easy opening for that calling-back - one that doesn't jar them or move the day along at an unnatural pace. My older children call themselves back as part of living out, "I know what I ought to do."

I had to think long and hard about how to articulate this because I wanted to characterize this accurately. I think the habit of *ought* is probably something worth distinguishing in this conversation of unschooling/CM.

And what ought they to do in a CM education? It is my privilege to set their feet in a very large room. I'm speaking of a CM education here: I set them in a spacious place (figuratively and literally), and I set out a rich and varied feast of living ideas. I also assist the children in attending the feast. They form relationships with the rich offerings, and I exercise some authority in how much they read and what they read so that there is time for relationships to develop. This is done very, very intentionally in order to cultivate the habit of attention and to ensure that even with the rich and varied feast, the child is able to digest, and further, to engage all of the ideas they meet. It is done to foster and nurture relationships. These relationships which are formed in reading and cemented in narrating are the key to knowing.

Forming the habit of this slow and careful reading is important: Beatrix Potter today....Winston Churchill tomorrow. James Herriot today.....Thomas Aquinas tomorrow. See what I mean? I lay down the habits of slow and careful reading because tomorrow's reading will be deeper and will require full attention to engage. That full attention can simply be an extension of the habit he has been practicing since 6 yo....or it can be exercised with (perhaps) less ease because it is not a habit.

CrunchyMom wrote:
But will I regret not getting him into the habit of doing formal school work now for when those subjects might require more structure?

Possibly. Likely. Definitely if you're going to move in a more CM structured way because a CM education becomes quite rigorous. But, I have to say that even as someone that seeks to implement a structured CM day, I resist that description of "formal school work" just because of the connotations. Is it formal? It probably doesn't look it to many. Is it school work? Not at all in the strict sense of the word. The readings and lessons have structure and form - yes. There is a definite rhythm to the day - yes. There is work to be done - yes. It is learning through living ideas - yes. I'd call it purposeful work with form and structure. Whereas you might say that unschooling could be purposeful work with form and less structure. Anyone (unschoolers) think I'm off base on that? But I digress...

With my middle schooler and high schooler, I'm reaping the benefits of habit training in the early years. It was somewhat shady to me at first, while I was doing it, I think because we step out in faith so much in those early years. But slowly, year by year, I began to see the children form in habits that were laid consistently (sometimes painstakingly on my part because *I* had to be patient and disciplined).

CrunchyMom wrote:
I do ask him informally to tell me about what he's reading without calling it a narration, just so I know what he's getting and also for the practice in narrating. Is that enough?

I think of this as perfectly adequate (but full disclosure: this could simply be how I've relaxed). It is a quiet coming alongside to build the habit of narration. It helps you see what he is understanding of this book, and he is forming cemented relationships with the ideas he's encountering and narrating. I *OFTEN* ask for narrations in much the same way you describe - very informally, in a very familiar, conversational way. It's more my own personal style and my children respond well to it because it conveys an interest in what they have to say.

CrunchyMom wrote:
I also have plans in the works for a relaxed way to make sure that we're doing fine arts, poetry, and geography somewhat regularly, and I can see how I could use this to add some formal copywork and memorization (as well as picture studies and composer studies) to the mix, even if it isn't so rigidly on a schedule.

This all sounds wonderful! CM's methods can be very malleable in terms of application, and by that I mean that you need not feel that your plans nor the accomplishment of them need to look formal or *planned* at all. There is nothing wrong with plans, but there is certainly room for your days to be more intuitive and relaxed in terms of *structure*.

CrunchyMom wrote:
I guess I'm wondering how important Charlotte Mason's principles are as applied to age and sensitivity.

I think I probably answered this in some of my other thoughts. I'll add that by 4th grade, I have a child that can self-educate with some guidance from me, and of course, I'm always present. But by 4th grade, those habits move the day - not me!

I'm not at all sure I got to the heart of your questions. ??? I can certainly offer reflections based on our days, just as others could offer equally compelling reflections which advocate for a more unschooled day to develop. And, as you already know, the two can marry fairly well (CM and unschooling), though you'd need adjust your expectations as well.

This is such a long response already....and I confess I've been piecing it together throughout the day. I really enjoyed thinking about it, but I fear that added to the length....so I'm going to post it since we're about to close for Sunday and maybe that'll give you enough time to read the whole ridiculous thing. I don't have time to go back and proof since it's so late....so apologies if it reads disjointed.

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Dana
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Posted: April 10 2012 at 10:37pm | IP Logged Quote Dana

His aunt (and godmother) says let him read Homer. You can make sure he can find his ETC book tomorrow, or whenever he has it on his schedule next.

Did you take a picture? That's total aunt bragging material, "My nephew didn't do his phonics because he couldn't find his book and read Homer instead!" Awesome!

I'll hush before you have me banished from the boards.       



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CrunchyMom
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Posted: April 11 2012 at 7:09am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom



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Posted: Oct 17 2012 at 9:08am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

Today, I am struggling with this again. I revisited this thread and this comment by KC made me think:

KC in TX wrote:
At one point in this adventure I said, "Oh, when things calm down, I'll..." Well, I finally realized, that THIS is my life and it will never calm down. Once I embraced that (and the messy house), I've been able to enjoy it better (not completely).   


I don't have a lot of time to reflect right now, but I reread Jenn's wonderful post that I've called to mind often since she wrote it, and this time, this phrase leapt out at me:

Mackfam wrote:
So, in my home if this scenario occurred, I'd probably notice it, and make a decision to allow my 7.5 yo child to continue reading. Then, at some other point in the day like a lunch peg, or an after-lunch-play-outside peg, I'd probably call him back to the lessons of the day. And I'd probably do so having prepared as much as possible - books together, quietest part of the day, the way made as smooth as possible through any preparations I need to make. A 7.5 year old SHOULD have much room to move in the day in terms of his own pursuits - margins. Like you, I wouldn't redirect him when he has found his way to purposeful work in the margin of a day.


Emphasis mine.

This is where I fail, or at least make things much harder for myself. I AM working to get more organized and establish personal and family habits.

But, I do think that it will be so much easier to balance all this once I have other things under control.

And I feel I AM finding my way towards that.

But it takes a lot of time and energy, and I also feel like maybe I'm "putting off" things with the idea that "once things are better" I'll be better about more disciplined studies.

Anyway, I'm just sort of pondering today the difference between accepting the reality of my life and just simplifying what we do, or continue to have loftier goals (which, I do think are still realistic if ambitious) and accept less than that temporarily while energy goes into restructuring our habits and habitat to make it easier to implement the education I desire. I'm not thinking clearly, so its perfectly natural if this doesn't make sense to anyone else.

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JennGM
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Posted: Oct 17 2012 at 4:59pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

Can I quote you and say that's me all over?

I know the problem is with me and my lack of self-discipline.

and that quote from KC got me thinking ever since she posted it. I meant to respond to it the first time. I think the exact same thing. That's why I have so little curriculum that I buy because I don't want it staring at me.

But how many things I was sure we would be doing and have covered and we are not. Probably needs to go in the shattered ideals thread.

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