Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Pilgrim
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Posted: Feb 12 2011 at 7:46am | IP Logged Quote Pilgrim

especially those whose children are old enough to be online, but really for children and parents with children in any public situation. We can be lulled into feeling safe like this girl did, but to protect our precious children, little and big it's good to always keep our eyes and ears open.


Here is the story (it does have a positive ending ):

After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to grab a snack and get on-line. She logged on under her screen name ByAngel213. She checked her Buddy List and saw GoTo123 was on.

She sent him an instant message:

ByAngel213: Hi. I'm glad you are on! I thought someone was following me home today. It was really weird!

GoTo123: LOL You watch too much TV. Why would someone be following you? Don't you live in a safe neighborhood?

ByAngel213: Of course I do. LOL I guess it was my imagination cuz' I didn't see anybody when I looked out.

GoTo123: Unless you gave your name out on-line. You haven't done that have you?

ByAngel213: Of course not. I'm not stupid you know.

GoTo123: Did you have a softball game after school today?

ByAngel213: Yes, and we won!!

GoTo123: That's great! Who did you play?

ByAngel213: We played the Hornets. LOL. Their uniforms are so gross! They look like bees. LOL

GoTo123: What is your team called?

ByAngel213: We are the Canton Cats. We have tiger paws on our uniforms. They are really cool.

GoTo123: Did you pitch?

ByAngel213: No, I play second base. I got to go. My homework has to be done before my parents get home. I don't want them mad at me. Bye!

GoTo123: Catch you later. Bye

Meanwhile, GoTo123 went to the member menu and began to search for her profile. When it came up, he highlighted it and printed it out. He took out a pen and began to write down what he knew about Angel so far.



Her name: Shannon

Birthday: Jan. 3, 1985

Age: 13

State where she lived: North Carolina

Hobbies: softball, chorus, skating and going to the mall.

Besides this information, he knew she lived in Canton because she had just told him.

He knew she stayed by herself until 6:30 p.m. every afternoon until her parents came home from work.

He knew she played softball on Thursday afternoons on the school team, and the team was named the Canton Cats.

Her favorite number 7 was printed on her jersey.

He knew she was in the eighth grade at the Canton Junior High School .

She had told him all this in the conversations they had on-line. He had enough information to find her now.



Shannon didn't tell her parents about the incident on the way home from the ballpark that day. She didn't want them to make a scene and stop her from walking home from the softball games. Parents were always overreacting and hers were the worst. It made her wish she was not an only child. Maybe if she had brothers and sisters, her parents wouldn't be so overprotective.



By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the footsteps following her.

Her game was in full swing when suddenly she felt someone staring at her. It was then that the memory came back. She glanced up from her second base position to see a man watching her closely.

He was leaning against the fence behind first base and he smiled when she looked at him. He didn't look scary and she quickly dismissed the sudden fear she had felt.

After the game, he sat on a bleacher while she talked to the coach. She noticed his smile once again as she walked past him. He nodded and she smiled back. He noticed her name on the back of her shirt. He knew he had found her.

Quietly, he walked a safe distance behind her. It was only a few blocks to Shannon's home, and once he saw where she lived he quickly returned to the park to get his car.

Now he had to wait. He decided to get a bite to eat until the time came to go to Shannon's house. He drove to a fast food restaurant and sat there until time to make his move.

Shannon was in her room later that evening when she heard voices in the living room.

"Shannon, come here," her father called. He sounded upset and she couldn't imagine why. She went into the room to see the man from the ballpark sitting on the sofa.

"Sit down," her father began, "this man has just told us a most interesting story about you."

Shannon sat back. How could he tell her parents anything? She had never seen him before today!

"Do you know who I am, Shannon ?" the man asked.

"No," Shannon answered.

"I am a police officer and your online friend, GoTo123."

Shannon was stunned. "That's impossible! GoTo123 is a kid my age! He's 14. And he lives in Michigan!"

The man smiled. "I know I told you all that, but it wasn't true. You see, Shannon , there are people on-line who pretend to be kids; I was one of them.. But while others do it to injure kids and hurt them, I belong to a group of parents who do it to protect kids from predators. I came here to find you to teach you how dangerous it is to talk to people on-line. You told me enough about yourself to make it easy for me to find you. You named the school you went to, the name of your ball team and the position you played. The number and name on your jersey just made finding you a breeze."

Shannon was stunned. "You mean you don't live in Michigan?"

He laughed. "No, I live in Raleigh . It made you feel safe to think I was so far away, didn't it?"

She nodded.

"I had a friend whose daughter was like you. Only she wasn't as lucky. The guy found her, did bad things to her and then murdered her while she was home alone. Kids are taught not to tell anyone when they are alone, yet they do it all the time on-line. The wrong people trick you into giving out information a little here and there on-line. Before you know it, you have told them enough for them to find you without even realizing you have done it. I hope you've learned a lesson from this and won't do it again. And, please tell others about this so they will be safe too, okay?"

"It's a promise!"

That night Shannon and her Dad and Mom thanked God for protecting Shannon from what could have been a tragic situation.


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stellamaris
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Posted: Feb 12 2011 at 8:08am | IP Logged Quote stellamaris

Thank you for sharing this story, Pilgrim. It is a frequent discussion here with my teen dd, but I'm going to have her read this. Kids just don't realize how much info they are giving out online. We moms need to be careful, too, even on forums like 4Real. There is no knowing who is lurking...don't want to frighten anyone, but we do need to be aware. Thanks again for sharing.

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Pilgrim
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Posted: Feb 12 2011 at 8:20am | IP Logged Quote Pilgrim

You're welcome. My Mom always told me to watch children so carefully when going out places. Her father was a police officer and had taught her much about people and what kind of people do what, or hang out where, and if what he taught her was true back then, or even when I was a kid, how much more do things happen now? My Mom always told me how predators hang out at parks, and zoos, in kids toy sections at stores, even libraries, etc. I have seen them. I alos don't want to frighten or offend anyone, just help people be aware, our children are so precious to us, may God help us keep them safe.

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Angie Mc
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Posted: Feb 12 2011 at 11:38am | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc

Here is an online video, complete with quizes, that shares online safety tips for youth.

Like Pilgrim's grandfather, my dh works with severely mentally ill predators and our children are painfully aware that they exist. Martial arts training has also helped to be prepared to deal with aggressors. We certainly need to be truthful and cautious...we need to tap into and listen to our intuition and encourage our children to do the same. We need to arm ourselves with good information and skill to avoid fear and helplessness.

Personally, our experience with bad behavior online hasn't been with strangers, but with people we know...or thought we knew. They are real people being themselves but eventually show their true colors of mocking, bullying, and harrassment. In these situations, our child had followed all the rules.

So while we encourage our children to follow safety rules both in real life and online, we also readily acknowlege that the vast majority of people are good and behave well! There will always be a small percentage of people (strangers and those known to us) who will behave badly (IRL and online) if they are determined enough. We will not allow them to keep us from our peace and we will defend ourselves at all times in the most responsible way possible.

Love,

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Servant2theKing
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Posted: Feb 12 2011 at 1:57pm | IP Logged Quote Servant2theKing

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and words of wisdom, Angie. We, too, have experienced our share of negative, even traumatic, encounters in this life...sometimes from people we trusted and had opened ourselves up to for many years, including a homeschooling family whose actions deeply impacted the lives of our family, as well as several other families. Arming and educating ourselves and our children, setting strong healthy boundaries online and IRL, being wise as serpants but gentle as doves, praying for protection and guidance in all our actions and relationships, and trusting in God's Almighty power and grace are all crucial in the world we live in.

A recent thread on forgiveness is a timely reminder that when all our human efforts to guard and protect cannot prevent wounds or pain from arising in human relationships, we must embrace our faith even more fully...putting into practice what we proclaim to believe...forgiving those who have wounded or done grave harm. While it is not easy, and may even seem impossible at times, there is profound grace and peace in forgiving those who have trespassed against us or those we hold dear.

May God bless your dh with abundant wisdom and grace as he deals with shattered souls who wound others. May God work miracles of profound grace to break the cycle of abuse and violence that holds so many souls in bondage. May He hold all our dear children safely in the Palm of His Hand, giving them wisdom, prudence and right judgment, especially as they venture out into a world where far too many souls do not know the Lord or live according to His ways. We must arm ourselves as much as humanly posible against all that is evil or unholy, but we must always trust and remember that God can bring grace and peace, even when our hedge of protection is not solid enough to keep out unholy invasions. Those are the times when praying for those who persecute you becomes truly real, alive and active! May Christ's Divine Mercy protect and guide all our families. May all of God's holy angels and saints be with us, protect us and intercede for us. May we all place our trust in the Lord, knowing that every detail of our lives is truly in His Hands.   

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Angie Mc
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Posted: Feb 12 2011 at 3:25pm | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc

Servant2theKing wrote:
...when all our human efforts to guard and protect cannot prevent wounds or pain from arising in human relationships, we must embrace our faith even more fully...putting into practice what we proclaim to believe...forgiving those who have wounded or done grave harm.

...we must always trust and remember that God can bring grace and peace, even when our hedge of protection is not solid enough to keep out unholy invasions. Those are the times when praying for those who persecute you becomes truly real, alive and active!


Amen, sister! It truly is soul-strengthening to *be not afraid* when faced with adversity and to trust that God is in complete control. We *can* pray...forgive...speak the truth...and rest in Him!

Love,

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