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Rosesinsummer
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| Posted: July 09 2010 at 12:52pm | IP Logged
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I'm very pregnant and due with our 3rd baby soon. We moved twice in the past year and survived the first year of homeschooling my Kindergartener
RIght now, my house is a mess. I'm not a natural born organizer. I feel an incredible need to nest, and I need time to plan, think, toss and organize without the distraction of my kids or them making messes in another part of the house unsupervised.  I feel like I'm sort of crazy to consider it, and perhaps other women can do it with kids at home 24/7, but I would really like a week to focus on getting the house and school plans for the fall in order while the kids are not here.
The public school system here offers extensive "community programs" including basically a summer "day camp" or "day care option" for infants to 5 year olds, full time. Each week has a theme and I believe (but haven't confirmed) that you can register as a "drop in".
Is this playing with fire? I'll be "on the list" so to speak if I were to do this. I'm so tempted though, because I really need to time to get our lives in order before this baby comes. No other daycare in this small town offers a "drop in" option. I cannot in good conscience impose all day, all week on my friends and we have no family nearby....
Thoughts? Pros, cons? Do I just need to grin and bear it and try to do this with kids in house and forget the tempting day camp option? BTW my kids are almost 6 and 3.5 years.
Thanks!
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zookeeper9
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| Posted: July 09 2010 at 2:18pm | IP Logged
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Personally, I would not do it. I would find ways to have the children help you around the house or enforce a quiet time the afternoon where you could have an hour or two to work without the little ones underfoot.
I keep my little ones with me when I clean so they are not in another part of the house without supervision. That way they can learn how things are done too. Another thought is there someone from your church or a friend you could swap child watching with for a week or even a couple of days?
Do you have any energy in the evening when your DH gets home to take an hour or two and get your game plan on paper?
I would offer to watch your littles if you live near me, I already have nine children, so 2 more more wouldn't be an burden. ;)
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CatholicMommy
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| Posted: July 09 2010 at 2:31pm | IP Logged
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I understand the desire and I understand the reality of keeping them close to help them learn.
Sometimes, though, you really DO need to just delve in and get it done.
And you are the one who has to decide that. I would not personally recommend 'full-day' for 5 days - it can be a HUGE adjustment and will lose its luster pretty quickly for the children - you'll have very tired children at the end of the day as well. So it's a toss-up.
I would be more apt to ask a few freinds/neighbors to take the children for a few hours at a time - it won't be that much of a burden to them, would give you some focus-time; you could still spend some time teaching the children how to work with you; and you could set them up with some playdough at the kitchen table while you clean up some other area (yes, you'll have the play dough mess, but it's easy to clean off of tile and *should* keep them entertained for a while).
This might be spread over 2 weeks, rather than 1, but might be more do-able????
Just some thoughts....
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CatholicMommy
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| Posted: July 09 2010 at 2:31pm | IP Logged
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And NO it's not crazy  
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: July 09 2010 at 2:34pm | IP Logged
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I would/did keep my littles with me. Part of the challenge for me is to figure out ways to make my days work with my children.
How much time do you feel you need to carve out per day to yourself? What tasks do you really want/need to do without interruption?
What tasks do you want to include your children in but may need ideas for how to do that?
Love,
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: July 09 2010 at 2:53pm | IP Logged
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I've sent my kids to day camps before and they've loved it! We've done science camps, music camps, art camps...Right now my JBug is going to Boys and Girls Club every afternoon and having the best time (though she is a bit older, age almost 9). I'd send the boys too if there were a cheap option for kids their age (4 and 6).
I personally don't have a problem with them getting out a bit in the summer, hanging out with other kids,doing different stuff than we would be doing here at home, etc. I think the change of pace is invigorating for us all. As long as it is a place that I can trust, a week or two of a fun camp can be a good thing.
You might want to think about half days, though, if they've never been away.
I know my opinion is a bit off the norm here, but it has worked for us with no problems.
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JaysFamily
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| Posted: July 09 2010 at 3:04pm | IP Logged
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I would seriously consider doing this for half days for a week, if needed.
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: July 09 2010 at 3:09pm | IP Logged
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lapazfarm wrote:
As long as it is a place that I can trust, a week or two of a fun camp can be a good thing.
You might want to think about half days, though, if they've never been away.
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I have to admit, I didn't have good options when my children were little. Where we live now, there are several options I would consider that are very flexible, to include programs through Parks and Recreation.
You might also enjoy ideas shared at Jen's retreat-at-home topic. In there are ways to carve out time for mom.
Love,
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: July 09 2010 at 3:21pm | IP Logged
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No, you're not crazy. And, it's a do-able option and one to consider, of course!!!
BUT, it's a temporary fix. Only a band-aid.
A big part of having multiple children and lotsa young ones, and homeschooling is how to manage our crazy lives called chaos, and put it into some form of "organized chaos."
For me, personally, it's easier to "ease into things" rather than be SLAMMED all at once. Managing with 2 children while pregnant will actually HELP you manage when you have the newborn. And, managing a house and 3 kids will help you if you get pregnant again and are in the 1st trimester, etc.....it all is part of the "learning to cope/manage/deal" in a bit by bit pattern. Rather than BANG----all at once.
Full time day care is so "much." I'm willing to bet that you can come up with lots of other options that wouldn't make you quake in your boots when that full time day care ended!
I am a BIG TIME USER of Mommy's Helpers!!!!!!! Especially in the summer!!! The school-kids are all home and this age A girl anywhere from 11-13 would be WONDERFUL for a few hours here and there. They don't expect as much money as a babysitter and they LOVE spending time and doing things with the kids!
Do you know any pre-teens that live close enough to you to do this? It's a good time to get your thoughts stratight and get a few things done. My 9 yo is currently being a Mother's Helper for a 4 yo!!! The mom gets 2 hours of (mostly) uninterrupted time when my dd is there. My dd LOVES it and she's making a bit of money, and it's very affordable for the mom.
I am currently "digging out" from being sick the 1st trimester of pregnancy...and my Mommy's Helpers are a huge part of me being able to do this without over-burdening my husband or having to wait until my mom visits. But, if I didn't have them.....well...life would move on and I'd go to plan B,C, and D.
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One thing that helps me is BEING READY for opportunities for working when they present themselves. Some people make lists of things to do by room, by date, by type of project. I make my lists divided by my SITUATION:
I DIVIDE and CONQUER and make my lists like this:
1. Things I can do ONLY when I'm by myself---Mommy's Helper is over, my neighbor has the kids, kids sleeping, or they are w/my husband OUT OF THE HOUSE.
2. Things I can do during quiet-time or when children are happily occupied without me.
3. Things I can do when my kids are around and I'm supervising and need to be "present"
4. Things that I can do WITH the kids.
5. Things I can do only with another adult's help. (ie: my husband needs to help move things around for me, etc.)
Then, I keep my master list easily accessible. When the above opportunities present themselves or I make them happen , I am READY TO ROLL! Part of the overwhelmed feeling is not having a plan and not knowing what to do next, even when you get 30 minutes of quiet.
:: Do you have a specific list of the things you need to do? If not, get a notebook, walk around your house, go from room to room and write down EVERYTHING you want/need to do.
:: Now, go through and create your "time-categories"....like I listed above. Yours may be different than mine, but you're thinking about the actual task and what is the minimum-requirement-situation that it can be accomplished.
:: Separate all those tasks into those "time zones"
:: Go back and highlight the ones that are IMPERATIVE that they get completed before the baby comes.
:: Pow-wow with your kids and show them the list. Tell them that your whole family is "getting ready for the baby" and you need their help! 3.5 and 6 years old??? They are ready for some RALLYING and a FAMILY MEETING! Bring them into the plan! Get them excited about how they can help! Reward them for helping you! Especially your 6 yo can occupy the 3.5 yo and maybe even get paid for it. Brainstorm how to use the 6 year old and get her involved. It's such a great age for involvememtn and starting to give them responsibility!
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Get creative with how you GET your uninterruped TIME:
1. Get dinner ready, and have your dh feed them, read, etc. That's an HOUR!
2. Do you have neighbors or friends that leave for the weekend? Would they let you come over and do some "planning" and paperwork, computer work, at their house? I do this all. the. time! My neighbors consider it their "community service." And, they LOVE to help me out in this way! it's so easy for them and is such a HUGE help to me.
3. Quiet time in the afternoon. If you aren't already doing this....it's a great time to start implementing it. This would be 1.5 hours/ day that you'd have for working.
4. Rally your husband to work with you in the evening. I tell my husband that NO MATTER WHAT....he has to MAKE ME do X before I go to bed. And, of course, if I"m totally exhausted, which I normally am....he will help!
5. Make portable baskets of work....when I'm in dig-out-mode, everything goes into several laundry baskets and when the kids are playing and I need to supervise, I can move the basket around to wherever they are and get to work.
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Do not spend a lot of time planning for your 6 yo school year! It's much more important to get things ordered up and get some good habits intilled in the children and yourself, so you can enjoy your year with the new baby! The 6 yo will learn PLENTY from having a new sibling!
Hope something here helps! And, blessings to you as you consider how to 'manage your chaos!' 
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mathmama
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| Posted: July 09 2010 at 4:12pm | IP Logged
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Do you have a grandparent that would like to come and spend a week or so with you? My mom comes out a couple of times of year and my girls are always so excited to have time with her. My mom will watch them while I get things done and when I need to be doing things with them she will pitch in and do whatever else needs to be done (like fold clothes, pick up messes). Personally, I would have a hard time sending my kids away all day, but I do have some special circumstances so perhaps that is part of it. I also have a really hard time trusting others with my kids.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: July 09 2010 at 5:25pm | IP Logged
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Just seconding the mother's helper.. your kids are still at home with you.. but you have a young girl (usually) who will play with and take care of the kids in the main for several hours at a time.
Plus it's a great way to train a babysitter.. you'll know them and they'll know you.. my oldest did this for a family at our Church.. she went over and kept the kids occupied while they were painting their kitchen.. and then this year she's done some actual babysitting for them.
But the nice thing is the kids already know her fairly well, she knows the family, she knows the routines and what's ok and what's not.. so when she babysits.. she's comfortable in knowing what to do and not do and the kids are comfortable with her and the parents have gotten to see her interacting with the kids and doing stuff and THEY are more comfortable as well.
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Rosesinsummer
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| Posted: July 10 2010 at 11:52am | IP Logged
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Thank you ladies for your thoughts and ideas. Maybe I can look into getting a mother's helper, but I don't know if it will be this week. I'll just keep trying to plug along as best as I can.
My mom is coming out to help, but there is SO MUCH to do, I wanted to have a head start. I don't want her coming here to a dump!
With two moves (and the fact that dh and I are both pack-ratty types and tend toward clutter) there is still a lot to clear out of boxes, organize etc. Yes, we go rid of some of it before the move, but old textbooks and paper clutter abound, in addition to odds and ends. Our basement is crammed and we will have both sets of parents here at some point, so we need space to set up a "guest room" in our unfinished basement (at least we have carpet there!)
I'm so bad at decision making and having workable plan of order. I crave it but can't seem to make it happen. I need time to think and plan. With the kids gone, I can do that. When they are here, I get stressed and take out my anxiety and frustrations out on them when I get in the "it's gotta get clean and organized now!" mode.
Plus all the regular day to day stuff seems to just eat away the day and there's no time left for decluttering or really making a plan, schedule, etc.
I'm so organizationally challenged, I wonder why I ever decided to homeschool.
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Pilgrim
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| Posted: July 10 2010 at 5:35pm | IP Logged
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Just wanted to say, I feel for you on all fronts. I feel at times like I am not organized enough to homeschool. We have had a LOT happen in the last yuear and some areas of the house have suffered. I get discouraged or wish for a time of peace to get some stuff done. I will pray for you. You can do it!
Homescooling is one of the hardest things to do, but so worth it knowing you are keeping your children's innocence intact, providing them the experience of being together and learning and growing as a family, and loving them as no one else can(even on those days where you feel like you've failed because you've lost patience momentarily. That is not a failure, it happens to us all, it is human, and our children know we love them through it all.) You are doing a great thing sacrificng to teach your precious children at home.
I'm glad you've brought these questions to the Forum, because even by talking this out you've opened the door to all these wonderful ladies praying for your needs as I know they do so faithfully every day, and that will answer your needs more than anything. Like my husband always tells me "Let's pray about it tonight, and God will send us the answer."   
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Temporary Day Care-- Is this crazy?
