Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Our Lady's Loom, Larder, and Laundry
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Subject Topic: New Year--Beauty in the Home Post ReplyPost New Topic
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JenPre
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Posted: Jan 04 2010 at 9:40pm | IP Logged Quote JenPre

Ever since I read Lisa's thread New Year Goals I haven't been able to stop thinking about Molly's post where she commented that she'd like to bring more beauty to her home.

I'm not one for making (or sticking to!) resolutions. But this struck a cord in my heart. I so much want to bring beauty to our home and I honestly feel like I'm not doing that.

We live in a small apartment at the moment with no storage space so the clutter and piles of "stuff" are getting to me. It's a constant battle to purge if I want free spaces. And with a new baby we just got all kinds of new "stuff!!"

I have some ideas of what to do and things to implement that I want to share but just as I began this post the baby started to let me know that she's hungry! So I will come back.

But if anyone's interested I really would like to start a discussion at the beginning of this brand New Year of how you bring beauty to your home. Beauty in the physical sense; beauty in the spiritual sense, etc. How do YOU define "beauty" and work to bring it to your home marriage and children each day?

My daughter is only a month old but I want to start NOW (and for my husband too!!) in showing her beauty and peace and comfort in the heart of our home.

And to begin that I'll go bring her her evening snack!

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Posted: Jan 04 2010 at 9:49pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

One of the easiest things for me is simply.. lighting some candles in the evening. Everyone loves it.. they can be scented or not (I like spicy scents in the winter.. right now I have a ginger/cardamom candle.. so yummy) but it just makes the room feel cozy and pretty.

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marihalojen
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Posted: Jan 05 2010 at 10:32am | IP Logged Quote marihalojen

Fresh flowers.

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Posted: Jan 05 2010 at 12:37pm | IP Logged Quote teachingmyown

But see, my candles and fresh flowers just get lost in the chaos. Honestly, I have a husband and children who will pile papers and stuff in front of a nice vase, or push the candle aside.

My desire is to maybe create an environment that might lead to more respect for our home. Perhaps if I paint the bathroom a pretty color, they won't throw the towel on the floor or miss the trashcan when they throw the toilet paper roll away. If I paint the girls room and give them a pretty bookshelf, maybe they won't color on the walls and throw their books everywhere. If I spruce up my laundry room, maybe I will feel more motivated to keep it clean and the laundry moving smoothly rather than letting piles grow on the floor.

Much of this is more about habit training than beauty, per se. It is just when things are drab or old then there tends to be a "what's the point anyway" attitude. My other choice is to wait until they all grow up.

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Posted: Jan 05 2010 at 12:44pm | IP Logged Quote teachingmyown

But see, my candles and fresh flowers just get lost in the chaos. Honestly, I have a husband and children who will pile papers and stuff in front of a nice vase, or push the candle aside.

My desire is to maybe create an environment that might lead to more respect for our home. Perhaps if I paint the bathroom a pretty color, they won't throw the towel on the floor or miss the trashcan when they throw the toilet paper roll away. If I paint the girls room and give them a pretty bookshelf, maybe they won't color on the walls and throw their books everywhere. If I spruce up my laundry room, maybe I will feel more motivated to keep it clean and the laundry moving smoothly rather than letting piles grow on the floor.

Much of this is more about habit training than beauty, per se. It is just when things are drab or old then there tends to be a "what's the point anyway" attitude. My other choice is to wait until they all grow up.

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Posted: Jan 05 2010 at 12:45pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

Molly, I put candles on my very high shelves that are ONLY for the pretty decorative things.. I put candles on the dinner table when it's cleared for dinner. Oh and I have a set of wall sconces for candles

Let the candles draw your eye to the clear space and ignore those other spaces

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Posted: Jan 05 2010 at 12:57pm | IP Logged Quote Lisbet

Molly, there is beauty in a lit candle or vase of flowers surrounded by paper etc... It's not the same kind of beauty your house will have when your grandkids come to visit, but it is the beauty in this season of your life and that of your children's .

A few months ago, I was lamenting to my husband how ugly my homekeeping binder is. It is a black vinyl binder with post it notes all over, scribbles and stickers stuck on by our 2 and 3 year old. etc... He looked at it and said, "It's perfect!" And ya know what? He's right, it's exactly what my homekeeping binder should look like right now. It's says that kids live here.

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Posted: Jan 05 2010 at 1:57pm | IP Logged Quote Waverley

Lisbet wrote:
Molly, there is beauty in a lit candle or vase of flowers surrounded by paper etc... It's not the same kind of beauty your house will have when your grandkids come to visit, but it is the beauty in this season of your life and that of your children's .


I agree completely! I think it is important to think about what beauty means to you and your family in this season of life. What is beautiful to me may not be what is practical or beautiful to my children. For example, my children love to draw. So we made an "art wall" in the house where they hang the things they draw/color/paint. This wall is beautiful. It is beautiful because their art is beautiful and because they know when they see us making space for what is important to them they know they are important to us. Is it "featured in a magazine" beautiful? Probably not.

Another way we have brought beauty into our home is with a family altar. Our altar is very small but it is a place that leads us into prayer and reflection. It is not uncommon for me to find a handful of dandelions at the foot or our statue of Our Lady of Guadalupe or a small drawing tucked up under the tablecloth.

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Posted: Jan 05 2010 at 2:19pm | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

I'm going to buy paint this week. I think that there is definitely some truth to the idea that children will take care of beautiful things.

However, one of the reasons I need to paint is because of the dings, dirty hands, etc... that happen irregardless of the beauty. I like paint because it doesn't "break" lol.

I think that if making your home more lovely will inspire you, it will inspire your children in a way as well. I think that talking up your home and the act of making it beautiful and keeping it beautiful can also be a source of encouragement when it comes to asking for help in establishing new habit training in this area.

I love this quote by G.K. Chesteron
Quote:
The average man cannot cut clay into the shape of a man; but he can cut earth into the shape of a garden; and though he arranges it with red geraniums and blue potatoes in alternate straight lines, he is still an artist; because he has chosen. The average man cannot paint the sunset whose colors be admires; but he can paint his own house with what color he chooses, and though he paints it pea green with pink spots, he is still an artist; because that is his choice. Property is merely the art of the democracy. It means that every man should have something that he can shape in his own image, as he is shaped in the image of heaven. But because he is not God, but only a graven image of God, his self-expression must deal with limits; properly with limits that are strict and even small.


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Posted: Jan 05 2010 at 3:11pm | IP Logged Quote marihalojen

You know what I miss? Those Loveliness Fairs that first year that took a room a month basically. One month we'd all make our kitchens look as lovely as possible and then share. I found those motivating even though I was living on a boat. In fact, here's my Lovelineess of the Kitchen - Galley Dockside vs. Galley Afloat. I'll tell you now that that galley sure didn't look that way before I had to take a photo for the post! There was a pile of coupons tucked behind the coffeepot, the metal glasses were dusty, dusty, dusty etc...

Here's Elizabeth's original list, I think. To me the Fairs started out very tactile, very practical and have become less tangible as time moves on.

I found the original ones very motivating for just what we're talking about here...

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Posted: Jan 05 2010 at 3:32pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

Lindsay the best part about buying paint and painting.. even just white.. is that you then have (or can get) more of the exact same shade of color and can paint over just spots or sections without having to do whole walls

Oh and don't think that you can't do something because your walls are just white. We painted over plain white (had a sorta cool touch of grey to it) with a plain white that had a touch of peach/pink to it. The walls still look plain white.. but the room feels so much warmer.

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Posted: Jan 05 2010 at 3:35pm | IP Logged Quote JenPre

I've meant to get back here all day but instead I've been taking stock of my home looking all around to see how I can make it more homey and more of a refuge for my husband, myself and the baby.

Molly....that was my first thought too. The candles and or flowers will get lost in admist all the clutter. I agree with you about making things prettier. Paint; organization etc. Our apartment is small but I cannot continue using that as my excuse for the piles of stuff all over the place. I need to purge and start up a system of every evening (or morning...I'll need to see what will work best) go through all the piles that accumulate throughout the day. Or better yet...start tackling things as they come in.

Aside from making the physical part of my home full of beauty I want to make the emotional side of it beautiful too.

My idea right now will focus on my husband's home-coming each day. I would like to do a quick tidy-up before he arrives home from work. Wash any dishes; clean up any craft things I'm working on etc. Have dinner at a point where it can wait for a little bit once he gets home. And then focus on him for awhile when he gets here.

This has been on my heart since the baby arrived. We've been so focused on her that I'm feeling like we need to remember to focus on one another. Not ignore the baby obviously! but remember that the two of us are important as a couple too!

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Posted: Jan 05 2010 at 3:36pm | IP Logged Quote JenPre

marihalojen wrote:
You know what I miss? Those Loveliness Fairs that first year that took a room a month basically. One month we'd all make our kitchens look as lovely as possible and then share. I found those motivating even though I was living on a boat. In fact, here's my Lovelineess of the Kitchen - Galley Dockside vs. Galley Afloat. I'll tell you now that that galley sure didn't look that way before I had to take a photo for the post! There was a pile of coupons tucked behind the coffeepot, the metal glasses were dusty, dusty, dusty etc...

Here's Elizabeth's original list, I think. To me the Fairs started out very tactile, very practical and have become less tangible as time moves on.

I found the original ones very motivating for just what we're talking about here...


Jen I haven't seen the Fairs before. Thank you for pointing them out! I'm going to go look through them for more inspiration!

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Posted: Jan 05 2010 at 6:02pm | IP Logged Quote SeaStar

I think clean,open, tidy spaces do more to make a home beautiful than anything else for me. Clutter in my home does more to take away that sense of beauty than any other single thing.

However.   Ahem.... it seems with children there will always be clutter of some type around. I like the idea in the Simplicity Parenting book of keeping "clutter" in a covered basket (even with just a piece of fabric) or bin. That way, even though the stuff is all still "there", you are not looking at it all the time and feeling the tension.

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Posted: Jan 06 2010 at 8:51am | IP Logged Quote AnaB

I think Jennifer's attitude is inspiring! What can be smaller than a boat? But to be able to use what you have and make it beautiful is the key. Getting rid of or hiding clutter is probably the biggest first step for me.

I've never decorated a home. We've never had extra money for decor. We've also been handed stuff down which doesn't exactly add up to some sort of style.

My standard has always been my parents. My dad is a germphobic person who can't stand to even see a crumb on the floor. My mom is not this way, but she has had to be for him. Many evenings she'd panic at hearing my dad's car drive up because she had forgotten to make the bed. If the house wasn't "perfect" he's be in a terrible mood. We walked on eggshells. Sometimes I make my family walk on eggshells. It grieves me.

My husband comes from a broken home where his mom worked two jobs and raised animals inside the house and ran a craft business. There was not much cleaning. He is used to clutter, it doesnt' bother him at all. He was never taught to put dirty clothes in the hamper or that putting anything away is important.

Boy, do we clash! We are now in a temporary house awaiting another move (last one). This temporary house is my parent's vacation home that is fully furnished. I have 4 kids sleeping in one room and no space to store clothes. Our stuff is everywhere! I hate that and I fight being irritable all day because of it.

I'm hoping that once we move I can begin to be more intentional about making things beautiful. A clutter free house has alot of beauty in and of itself. Now that I have visited the homes of new friends up here, I see that they have a much more realistic view of homekeeping. It is not the museum like feel of my parent's home, but something much more attainable and forgiving. I am 38 years old and this is the first time I have felt more relaxed about having people over even if things aren't perfect. I am being much more realistic in my expectations and that helps.

All this to say that check what you are trying to attain. If it's a magazine picture or pictures of someone's perfect home on a blog, it is very hard to attain that in the stage you are in. Being in other homes of homeschooling moms that are in my stage or level has helped me to be more content and creative with what I have.

I hope this helps.

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Posted: Jan 06 2010 at 9:28am | IP Logged Quote Cay Gibson

I believe the loveliness idea was inspired by Donna Marie with this thread:

Houses: Big or Small (Donna Marie's warming post is on page 2)

which we carried into discussion of:

Elegant Simplicity

It's wonderful to share our thoughts again in 2010, so let's keep them coming.

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Posted: Jan 06 2010 at 9:50am | IP Logged Quote Chris V

Cay Gibson wrote:
I believe the loveliness idea was inspired by Donna Marie with this thread:

Houses: Big or Small (Donna Marie's warming post is on page 2)

which we carried into discussion of:

Elegant Simplicity



Cay, thank you for re-posting this!

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Posted: Jan 06 2010 at 11:48am | IP Logged Quote Donna Marie

Wow Cay, thanks!

'I' NEED to read this to remember what 'I' need to do. It has come around again that I have to purge and it is overwhelming...more kids, more levels for school...less of me to go around...morning sickness..etc

Now, I can SEE what I did before.
See? It IS a good thing that I spend my time thinking at the keyboard now and then. It saves me a bunch of heartburn later...wonderful therapy with good fruit to boot!

I needed to not feel overwhelmed today as last night when I just couldn't move anymore the pressure cooker with my chicken soup in it lost a pressure gasket thingy and I have chicken soup grease aaalll over the ceiling, the walls, the floor, the ceiling fan...and oh, the whole room....and I have a bunch of company coming over for a party sunday and I have to pull out as much stuff as I can to squeeze them all in!! Hey! this is real life, I just can't make this stuff up!
Inspiration. I needed it. THANK YOU!!

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Posted: Jan 06 2010 at 12:35pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

I love the idea of "hiding clutter" but I know that it will just stay hidden.. out of sight, out of mind and nothing more will ever happen to it.

My best strategy so far has been to reduce the cluttered areas.. so my desk is always piled with stuff.. but the dining room table and buffet are usually clear (or in use).

I had to retrain myself on the laundry.. I gave myself rules I did not allow myself to go and get the next load from the dryer until the one before that was folded AND put away. Once I got in that habit I can let the putting away go for a load or three.. but I really had to train myself not to let it pile up.

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Posted: Jan 06 2010 at 2:21pm | IP Logged Quote AnaB

There is some clutter that I just can't get rid of. My husband's piles, for instance, can be all over the desk or dinner table. So, I designate a drawer or milk crate for his things so that none are thrown away (by me at least) but it's contained in a way I can live with.

With children's toys/books, I had an entertainment center with two cabinets on each side. That became a great place to put a box or toys.

Sometimes when space is tight, even essential things can appear cluttered. Pretty boxes and baskets are very helpful at times like these.

In about a month, I get to move into a new (to me) house and start all over. I'm excited at the opportunity and nervous too. I truly want to make it a beautiful place but we are so on a budget. I do want to find a place for everything and make an conscious decision about each thing that enters my house.

For the first time in my life, I will have a homeschool room (den). I pray I can make good use of the space. It will be nice to keep our homeschooling stuff contained.

I do agree, that in all situations, fresh flowers, a pretty candle in the room I'm working in, piano music via pandora website, adds instant beauty to my space for me. IT is motivating and helps me take a deep breath and tackle the next thing.

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