Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Leonie
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Posted: Dec 26 2005 at 6:14pm | IP Logged Quote Leonie

I got this quote from a book I read before Christmas. What do you think?

The description is from Rue Keam's book - Parenting a Free Child: An Unschooled life.

" We choose to live in ways that keep us conected and involved in each other's day to day lives. ..We believe that learning will happen in its own time and is not more important than loving or hoping or laughing. We live without subjects, in a world where life is not separated into neat little pieces but instead swirls and flows together in ways we could never design....Our unschooling is our parenting is our life together."


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Posted: Dec 26 2005 at 10:29pm | IP Logged Quote Willa

That reminds me of the recent threads about "connecting" and building relationships.   Thanks for that quote, Leonie. Do you like the book in general? -- I read about it somewhere and was interested.

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Posted: Dec 27 2005 at 7:18am | IP Logged Quote Mary G

Leonie -- I love this quote. But, being a product of San Francisco just after the hippies and the "free love" culture of the 60s, I worry about being too alternative from the main stream.

This sounds wonderful and I love it -- especially when they're little. But does it work in American society today with the push for achievement and the right schools, etc? Should it work? Should we fight against the current culture that says you must go to an accredited college, get a strong degree (if not a grad degree also) and get a great paying job?

I don't know if I'm brave enough to go too far with this for my children's sake.....

[But keep the info coming as I'm embracing this more and more the more y'all talk about it! ]

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Posted: Dec 27 2005 at 11:11am | IP Logged Quote Willa

Some unschooled kids inc Leonie's and MacBeth's do better than the average bear as they move into the "real world" and so there must be some way to unschool that also conduces to excellence. I have a local friend who unschools, whose oldest is presently getting a Master's. She got her GED at 16, went to work at a travel office, then went to a small college and from there on.   Unconventional but it worked for her. Unschooling -- or SOMETHING-- gave her a LOT of poise and ability to cope with lots of different situations.

So you CAN do both -- unschool and succeed -- but I do not know exactly how. Is there a "Sometimes I wish I could be a fly on the wall?" emoticon??

I would say I unschooled my oldest in that we NEVER continued with something unless he was OK with it, but I certainly planned lessons and made checklists with him.    We tended to do all his education more or less consensually, I would regularly ask for his feedback, and he actually asked for the structure as he got older because he wanted to be challenged. But I know I was pushing classical ed at that time and being an oldest, he picked up on it and probably internalized it.

I have a hard time imagining my present youngsters moving onto that track but Leonie says it does happen at a certain age.   

Anyway I share your questions, Mary, but I don't think it's an either/or.   I still don't want to give up my classical ideals which are treasures to me, but I guess I am exploring different methods in how we do things day to day.

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Posted: Dec 27 2005 at 12:45pm | IP Logged Quote Cindy

WJFR wrote:

I have a hard time imagining my present youngsters moving onto that track but Leonie says it does happen at a certain age.   

Anyway I share your questions, Mary, but I don't think it's an either/or.   I still don't want to give up my classical ideals which are treasures to me, but I guess I am exploring different methods in how we do things day to day.


Hi Willa-

I wonder if you have found that unschooling works with some kids but not others (you mentioned you don't see you current youngers moving on that track..) Do you think classical ideas are good for all the kids to persue, or just those who take an interest?

It sounds like you have such a passion for classical ideas and that perhaps that inspire enthusiam in your kids?

Have you found you have taken a slightly different track with each child, or have you found a tried and true way? I read with interest about your oldest.. it is so good to hear where others have been. Would you do anything different than unschooling with him. looking back?

You got me thinking! :)

Cindy

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Posted: Dec 27 2005 at 12:52pm | IP Logged Quote Cindy

Mary G. wrote:
But does it work in American society today with the push for achievement and the right schools, etc? Should it work? Should we fight against the current culture that says you must go to an accredited college, get a strong degree (if not a grad degree also) and get a great paying job?

I don't know if I'm brave enough to go too far with this for my children's sake.....
]


Great questions, Mary.. some I have wrestled with, too.

Perhaps we   owe it to our kids to *not* follow the culture for the sake of job and money. But are doing them the real favor by allowing them to find out their passions and strenths and spend real time on them in their growing years. Let them use prime time for this instead of the remains of the day?

If college is the goal, will this produce a *better* college student, as I have heard some (including colleges) say?

If we do foster this, can we help cover the bases- subject-wise, or do we need to? I like the focus of collaberatvily working with our child (really more in the teens) to help hand their education over to them and allow them to make those choices? Perhaps spend our time giving them the information and helping them find it?

Will this work instead of dictating subjects? Wondering here and really want to know...

We want our kids to be prepared. But preparaton of the heart, and knowing how to learn, why to learn is more imporantant, when I really think of the child as a person, than ticking off subjects. But will that handicap them in the future? Perhaps it depends on the child. And back full circle to connecting and knowing our children...



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Posted: Dec 27 2005 at 2:20pm | IP Logged Quote Willa

Cindy,

You gave me several things to think about with your post here and the other thread you started.   I am going to think about both during our trip to town. Aidan's G-tube came out last night and we have to get a new one put in; no big deal, sort of like putting in an earring perhaps, just a bother because we have to go to the hospital, and a bit stressful for him.   Then we're going to CostCo, which he loves, to cheer him up!

Just to focus on Liam for now. Because as I said the "look" of his education was structured, it never occurred to me until recently that I could describe it as unschooling. But I've read things that say that unschoolers DO get commited to their education as they get older and might even ask for structure, so I guess I am presently reformulating my conception of what unschooling IS.

Now if I look back to when he was 12 -- my youngsters are 12 and 9 at present -- I remember him looking out the window while I was trying to go over Logic with him!   his mind was on the lizards on the rock out there! He was never at all uncooperative, intentionally, but it was a job to keep him focused. I think now I should have just let him go look at the lizards, perhaps! but I was pregnant and just wanted to get through the day without disintegrating altogether!

So my point there is that his, well, spaciness, back then, was part of what makes him at least semi-scholarly now. He still loves to watch bugs and other small wildlife when he gets a chance.   But he also can focus on Latin and Logic.

I know I have a tendency to get sidetracked and lose my own focus, so if I unschool I will have to find a way to stay involved and focused and still "seize the moment" when it comes up. I don't yet have a technique for this. It has been trial and error all fall. I know I have been "deschooling" myself and it feels weird.

I think the kids are actually deschooling less than me, because I have never had them on a really rigorous program. But keeping the show running for all seven of them has been incredibly rigorous for ME, and I'm realizing more and more how much I was coping with a huge energy drain. I thought I was getting old, but it was sheer fatigue!

My second son might be a bit like your oldest. I feel that unschooling is the ONLY thing that really works with him. In a general context of freedom, I can suggest that he does math or whatever, and he is cooperative -- but when I'm micromanaging and steering him through MY plans, he drags his heels. After reading the book you recommended about Introverts, I realize that he needs his down time, his pondering time in order to process. His heel-dragging is partly pure overload.

But I worry about what his future niche will be.   So I guess I don't have any real answers. Honestly, I have been praying at every Mass about "unschooling." -- Do you still want me to be doing this, Lord? It's not an excuse for me to opt out, is it? I get reassurance that I'm on the right path. In fact, when I pray this I feel JOY, a kind of hope and sense of adventure, that God knows what He is doing.   

About classical, I love it because it is about LANGUAGE.   I love language and philosophy and theology and the way they are interwoven. So I think that yes, my enthuasiasm for these things probably affects my kids, but the way I understand it, that is legitimate with unschooling, right? Parenting and education, if not exactly the same, are intimately related.

I have gone on and on and need to fly now!

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Posted: Dec 27 2005 at 2:58pm | IP Logged Quote ladybugs

This is an interesting thread and I'm going to throw my thoughts out there, fwtw. I feel such a novice at all things parenting and educating despite the time I have invested in both. So take them just as my thoughts and not as directives. I am scared to post this for fear of, "What kind of response will I get?" so please be gentle...

Anyhow, I've been thinking alot about unschooling and best approaches for each child. Again, I think, as Elizabeth said somewhere and Cindy and others that the semantics of the word, "unschooling" means different things to different people...sometimes, we have structure academically, sometimes we don't. I find that the pegs work best as springboards for our routines...which I'm still trying to establish. Now, maybe this has to do with the fact that my children are so close together and still young. Lately, I am finding that overwhelming....

But back to the discussion...

I think that the unschooler has a different goal than the schooler. I think, too, the priority for the unschooler is the relationship. Again, this is not abandonment of academics...it's merely a different approach than the "I-am-the-authority-you-are-the-subject...subject-to-that-au thority."   I liken it to the relationship of Our Holy Mother Church and her "subjects." Mother Church acknowledges free will. I acknowledge free will too...but I try to inspire it so that the education and living out of my children's faith will be their's and not forced.

While the relation to authority is still there, the approach is not in terms of power but rather in terms of inspiration. Like how St. Therese was inspired to obey her parents out of love as opposed to fear. I believe that Don Bosco had a similar approach to his boys…For me, that is the goal that I desire in my family. Believe me, we don't always have it but this is where sanctification is applied and where our "school of virtue" learned...in daily living...Instead of reacting in anger, I try react with patience. I try to listen...I try to pay attention...I am not always successful but how I interact with my children, in my mind, shows them where my motivation for their best rests. Is that clear as mud?

In addition, we speak of goals. We set them. We present opportunities.

I hope that helps define my motivation as an unschooler - albeit not a pure unschooler...

But, please don't throw tomatoes...as much as I like salad, i don't want to be one...



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Posted: Dec 28 2005 at 2:16am | IP Logged Quote Willa

Cindy wrote:
Have you found you have taken a slightly different track with each child, or have you found a tried and true way? I read with interest about your oldest.. it is so good to hear where others have been. Would you do anything different than unschooling with him. looking back?


Cindy,

I was thinking about this some more, as I warned you
Liam was easy to work with in education. When I took him out of school in 3rd grade, he had the best comprehension scores in his Catholic class but he said he "hated" reading. I started reading him the Narnia chronicles and basically his education went from there.   I read many books to him and then we started round-robining and pretty soon he was reading for enjoyment, anything I gave him.

He was so patient about slogging through endless Seton workbooks. But I found why the teachers were keeping him in at recess to finish his classwork and why his homework had taken him so long every evening. He had to process EVERYTHING.   Those workbooks took hours and hours every day. He didn't just do them, he had to think about them, give them WAY more thought than they deserved.   It was SO a waste of his time.

This is why I moved to CM/classical with him. Quality, not quantity, structure (he didn't like unlimited choices) but GOOD structure, not busywork.

If I have a regret, it's that he didn't get more chance to do the "community involvement" aspect that unschoolers place importance in. I think he could have used that.    

Because this particular CM/classical blend worked with him, I thought it would work for all the kids. NOT, though.   I guess my conception was a bit too narrow. I still hold by the classical/CM ideals but the specific methods, hmm, they are going to look different for each kid I think.

I guess if there are tried and true principles, for me, they would be:

1, Learning in the homeschool has a family dynamic. It will look different depending on the circumstances of the time, and that is OK.

2, Relationships are central. Family, friends, and relationships with what there is to be learned. I wouldn't say "the more relationships the better" because we introverts get overwhelmed by too much, but seeds should be planted in the soil and given the opportunity to sprout.   I guess you would call that "strewing"

3, I personally won't force a kid to do something he is strenuously opposed to doing. I really do not like to do that. I remember that it was really hard for me to learn something that I hated.... still is. Even now, the only way I can do something I hate is to do it for love of God, or because I personally see the need for it, or by tweaking either the thing or my attitude to it so it's no longer so loathsome. So I try those things with my kids depending on the circumstances. I try to show them why it's necessary, or have them do it in "baby steps", or try to change it a bit or ask them to give me suggestions on how it could be made more pleasant. I don't TELL them to do it for the love of God when they're resistant, I've never been able to carry that off like St Therese's family could, but I do try to discuss doing things for God at more neutral times in our lives when they are more receptive, so hopefully it carries over.

4, Learning is not sequential, really. I am totally on the unschooling page, there. It doesn't go evenly like steps on a stair, but in lulling, intervals or even seeming regressions/consolidations, punctuated by leaps and bounds, especially for young kids who are developing so quickly. A kid can gain reading fluency literally almost overnight. That's just one example.     

5, Environment and what they call "pre-readiness" counts for a lot more than I realized when I first started homeschooling.   A lot of educating is laying groundwork. Perhaps this is strewing again, but also a kind of tilling the soil?   I don't do prereadiness very well naturally, but I do more of it now that I'm conscious of it. Just talking, exploring language, playing, that's all a kind of groundwork. Plus, it's really fun. These days, I am enjoying our family culture more and more just by taking part in it rather than trying to push it along and steer it. ANd then I DO help steer it just because of my participation, but it's a side benefit rather than a "take control" maneuver which the kids easily pick up on.

I hope this doesn't sound just unbearably know it all, or horribly obvious. I'm just writing it out to remind MYSELF, mostly. There's probably some I missed. ANd I don't live it all out every day. When things start going wrong, I usually ponder along these lines to discern WHAT's wrong.

Also, MacBeth used to talk about the habit of attentiveness -- for the Mom! to get to see the uniqueness of each kid and not generalize or stereotype.     I know you've said that many times, too, Cindy. In that way, what works for one kid may not work for another, but the "attentiveness" has good results always.

I am seeing that you all, as unschoolers, have allowed yourself to let go of a certain kind of security -- I'll do this and this and this, and my kids will be THIS. But you're letting it go to trade in for something that seems more valuable. I think it probably IS more valuable but there seems less of a guarantee and it must be difficult, at times.   It's probably a lot easier if your child is naturally the type of kid who just takes off running into academics. But if you have a thoroughly unconventional learner, it's a bit more anxious, I see. But those are probably the kids that really NEED the unconventional, uniquely-tailored approach. I suppose. I do not know for sure because my unconventional learner is still rather in the unpolished gem stage.


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Posted: Dec 28 2005 at 2:25am | IP Logged Quote Leonie

[QUOTE=Mary G.] Leonie -- I love this quote.
This sounds wonderful and I love it -- especially when they're little. But does it work in American society today with the push for achievement and the right schools, etc? Should it work? Should we fight against the current culture that says you must go to an accredited college, get a strong degree (if not a grad degree also) and get a great paying job?


Mary, I can't say if it works in the American society . However, I like to think that I can have my cake and eat it, so to speak.

That I can admit to my kids ( as I have ) that I, personally,tend to be goal and achievement oriented. And that, while we are happy for the kids to follow dreams, dh and I also see value in a university education.

That is just us. To pretend otherwise would be dishonest, imo.

So, dh and I share who we are with our dc and, inevitably ( at least, so far, with the four boys age sixteen and up) some of this rubs off onto the dc.

So, in some ways we are pretty mainstream, wrt university and careers. Jonathon (16) for example, is in a bamd and wants to be a rock star. And he does drama and would like to be involved in the film industry. These colour his university course choices, but we have also talked about back up plans.

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Posted: Dec 28 2005 at 8:25am | IP Logged Quote Cindy

ladybugs wrote:

While the relation to authority is still there, the approach is not in terms of power but rather in terms of inspiration.


Beautiful thought, Maria!

Cindy

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Posted: Dec 28 2005 at 8:42am | IP Logged Quote BrendaPeter

Maria, you always make me laugh! Salad...too funny!

ladybugs wrote:
While the relation to authority is still there, the approach is not in terms of power but rather in terms of inspiration. Like how St. Therese was inspired to obey her parents out of love as opposed to fear. I believe that Don Bosco had a similar approach to his boys?


I like what you said about "power vs. inspiration" and think you make a very good point about St. Therese & Don Bosco. I'm not intending to veer off the path of this thread, but I wanted to point out that in The Story of a Family, St. Therese's father was extremely strict with his daughters in regard to their education. They were expected to maintain certain (very high) standards & there were consequences if they were not maintained. Also one story that stands out in my mind was when Louis Martin forbid one of his daughters from cutting her hair with bangs since that would be for reasons of vanity. That book gave me a real sense of their parenting style. As much as they totally entrusted all to God's will, they took their parenting responsibilities very seriously and set high standards in all areas. They realized the limits of their "power" in terms of controlling their childrens behavior. Instead they set the standards & constantly encouraged their children, out of love of God, to achieve what had been put before them. Her responsibilities in childrearing and her faith were almost exclusively the subjects of Zellie Martin's letters.



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Posted: Dec 28 2005 at 9:01am | IP Logged Quote Cindy

thank you for taking the time to write this great post, Willa! I value your experience.


WJFR wrote:
   but GOOD structure, not busywork.

Yes... there is a difference. I think that is a key and has often been elusive for me. When I implement structure for a reason other than what my dc really needs it is detremental. It is easy to do it for the wrong reason. (like hearing a comment of how something works for someone else, and feeling you should do it, too, etc)


<<If I have a regret, it's that he didn't get more chance to do the "community involvement" aspect that unschoolers place importance in. I think he could have used that. >>

I think that community involvment is an important piece not only for unschoolers but all homeschoolers. But, I was reminded recently that community often can be very close to home... and at home. Real service work is of the heart and it may be as important when the dc helps their sibling with a chore as when they volunteer for the local shelter. The heart is what is important. I say that having had to look hard, too, Willa, with homebody dc. So, while going outside service is good, there is lots more going on in less obvious ways. Just a thought.    

I liked all your points... 1-5. I don't think anything you said need be applied only to unschoolers. What you said sounds like the groundwork for any happy, learning, healthy family-- all those things are key for homeschool families, I think.

<I hope this doesn't sound just unbearably know it all, or horribly obvious.>

No, they aren't.. they are very good to hear. Good to have them listed to ponder, as you say.

I like the idea of having lists such as this, to ponder and discern... and ideas of how to help trouble spots without reverting to the same-old lesson schedule that is so easy to revert to as a fix-all....    

<<Also, MacBeth used to talk about the habit of attentiveness -- for the Mom! to get to see the uniqueness of each kid and not generalize or stereotype.>>

Yes, I like the idea of attnetivnes... and MacBeth is a great one to inspire some out of the box ways to rethink things. I think when I get lazy, I begin to stereotype. But I do get tired sometimes, so it would be nice to have the habit in place of where to go when I do... if this makes sense.

[QUOTE]I am seeing that you all, as unschoolers, have allowed yourself to let go of a certain kind of security -- I'll do this and this and this, and my kids will be THIS. But you're letting it go to trade in for something that seems more valuable. I think it probably IS more valuable but there seems less of a guarantee and it must be difficult, at times.   It's probably a lot easier if your child is naturally the type of kid who just takes off running into academics. But if you have a thoroughly unconventional learner, it's a bit more anxious, I see. But those are probably the kids that really NEED the unconventional, uniquely-tailored approach. I suppose. I do not know for sure because my unconventional learner is still rather in the unpolished gem stage. [/QUOTE/]

Willa, I wish I had your eloquence right now to put down my thoughts about this passage!

I think unschoolers do give up security. They give up the security of being part of the traditional homschool world and it can be lonely. Having to explain your ways (or avoid talking about them) can isolate you. But are they giving up any other security?   Does traditional homeschooling really give us security? Or is a false one? Pondering....

To think this through, I have to think about what the goals are that we want security in reaching. Here is what I came up with:

1- Our dc have a connection with their faith (and all the subsequent relationships that entails- with man, nature, things, etc)

2- Our dc love learning and know how to learn and have exposure to learning (an education) in theirr younger years (Called 'getting an education')

3- Our dc will have opportunities in the outside world (will be accepted into college, etc)

When I look at how I can best acheive this with my kids, number 1 and 2 point to unschooling, or a form of unschooling, where they are able to focus on connecting and I am facilitating that for them.

When I wonder about unschooling, is usualy on number 3! That is the only 'guarentee' that I see sacrificed. Honestly, if I went for more traditonal methods, I wonder if I might then be sacrificing 1 and 2?

Of course, it is individual for each child. Maybe the sacrifice comes not when we adopt a method, but in being uncommincative and not knowing and responding to thier needs. Ex, you saw Liam's need for 'good' structure and gave him what he needed. It was not unschooling or not unschooling, it was knowing his needs and filling them (which often is the definition of unschooling! How's that for a catch 22?) lol





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Posted: Dec 28 2005 at 10:32am | IP Logged Quote ladybugs

BrendaPeter wrote:
Maria, you always make me laugh! Salad...too funny!

ladybugs wrote:
While the relation to authority is still there, the approach is not in terms of power but rather in terms of inspiration. Like how St. Therese was inspired to obey her parents out of love as opposed to fear. I believe that Don Bosco had a similar approach to his boys?


I like what you said about "power vs. inspiration" and think you make a very good point about St. Therese & Don Bosco. I'm not intending to veer off the path of this thread, but I wanted to point out that in The Story of a Family, St. Therese's father was extremely strict with his daughters in regard to their education. They were expected to maintain certain (very high) standards & there were consequences if they were not maintained. Also one story that stands out in my mind was when Louis Martin forbid one of his daughters from cutting her hair with bangs since that would be for reasons of vanity. That book gave me a real sense of their parenting style. As much as they totally entrusted all to God's will, they took their parenting responsibilities very seriously and set high standards in all areas. They realized the limits of their "power" in terms of controlling their childrens behavior. Instead they set the standards & constantly encouraged their children, out of love of God, to achieve what had been put before them. Her responsibilities in childrearing and her faith were almost exclusively the subjects of Zellie Martin's letters.



I'm glad I make you laugh, Brenda!   

I totally agree that Therese's parents set high standards and expected their daughter's to adhere to them. I also agree that they did this more through their encouragement and their modeling and discussion of those expectations and prayer.

I don't think that unschooling doesn't allow for high standards. In everything that my children do, I want them to do their best - whether it's making their bed or picking up the trash off the floor or writing a letter. Discussion, modeling and encouragement are methods employed.

Today is my sweet Joseph's 5th birthday! Can you imagine? Of course, you can...but I can't! I remember those days when they were all little...but because it is his birthday, I better run and make his favorite breakfast!

Happy Feast of the Holy Innocents!

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Posted: Dec 28 2005 at 10:54am | IP Logged Quote BrendaPeter

ladybugs wrote:

I don't think that unschooling doesn't allow for high standards. In everything that my children do, I want them to do their best - whether it's making their bed or picking up the trash off the floor or writing a letter. Discussion, modeling and encouragement are methods employed.


Hi Maria,

I'm sorry if I implied that you or any other parent who unschools does not have high standards. That wasn't my intention at all. In some ways, I think they have the highest standards - because many of them keep studying & trying to figure out how to do this homeschooling thing in the best possible way.

Happy 5th Birthday to Joseph!


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Posted: Dec 28 2005 at 11:26am | IP Logged Quote ladybugs

BrendaPeter wrote:
ladybugs wrote:

I don't think that unschooling doesn't allow for high standards. In everything that my children do, I want them to do their best - whether it's making their bed or picking up the trash off the floor or writing a letter. Discussion, modeling and encouragement are methods employed.


Hi Maria,

I'm sorry if I implied that you or any other parent who unschools does not have high standards. That wasn't my intention at all. In some ways, I think they have the highest standards - because many of them keep studying & trying to figure out how to do this homeschooling thing in the best possible way.

Happy 5th Birthday to Joseph!


Thank you! I made Malt-o-Meal with brown sugar and a pot of hot tea. (That's a nice and easy breakfast!)! After breakfast we'll do our chores and then dress for the weather...winter rain storm...then...we're going for a walk! I need to get out just as much as these kids!

Oh, Brenda...I really didn't consciously take it that way. Sorry....I was just clarifying in my own mind...

Sorry for any confusion!


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Posted: Dec 28 2005 at 11:48am | IP Logged Quote Willa

Cindy wrote:
I think unschoolers do give up security. They give up the security of being part of the traditional homschool world and it can be lonely. Having to explain your ways (or avoid talking about them) can isolate you. But are they giving up any other security?   Does traditional homeschooling really give us security? Or is a false one? Pondering....


Cindy,

This reminds me of the debate between "useful" education and liberal arts education. It's one of the big underground battles of this century. CM fought on the liberal arts side; Cardinal Newman too, spoke up against the increasing utilitarianism of universities in Ireland. In fact, most of the people I most admire were in some ways resisting the tide of pragmatism.

The idea for the advocates of "useful education", that CM and Newman fought against, is that it is better to train/educate children efficiently so they can take their place in a working society. Some of them thought you could do it almost with a factory model -- pour in this, shape that, and you'll get a good little educated citizen.   There's nothing wrong with avocational "trade" education but essentially, education isn't about getting into the right college or getting a well-paying job. At best, those things are means to an end, not an end in themselves, and over-emphasizing them as an end in themselves can actually work against the greater good.

Cardinal Newman said that liberal education -- education directed to the person as human being, as child of God -- will always help a person do their work better, but that's not its primary goal.   Charlotte Mason believed the same thing.   

In a book by Mary Pride, I once read something roughly analogous. She said that we want to train our children not so much to be good little obedient soldiers of Caesar, but good little martyrs willing to disobey the Empire for Christ's sake.   Our education should be directed to higher things, not just to fitting into society like a cog into a machine.

I think part of that "something valuable" that unschoolers are trying to impart to their children is the willingness to think outside the box, to "do it otherwise." , to THINK about assumptions. Taking the road less travelled makes it almost inevitable that their kids WILL reflect on these things themselves, which to me is a large part of what education is about.

I agree that there is no REAL security in educating children conventionally. I see parents sending their kids to the local public school because they want that security, and yet the children don't get the kind of education that I think of as REAL education. Sometimes, the statistics show, they don't even get an education beyond the very bottom-line basics, at all. Many highschoolers can't do arithmetic or read at a newspaper level, and don't WANT to either.

But I think another issue is that even if conventional education COULD guarantee bottom-line basics, that really isn't enough.   So the security you'd get would be a "bowl of pottage" kind of security, not a "birthright in God" kind of security. What do you think? I'm afraid I am over-simplifying a bit.   But what keeps me going on the "unconventional" path is the thought that I want something MORE for my kids, not MORE in quantity --- not accelerated education, or 3 foreign languages, or all that -- but MORE in quality -- more understanding of the big picture, more critical reflection and creativity, more of the kind of thing that leads us all to homeschool in the first place, weak as we are.

Cindy, you mentioned that my general principles applied to all homeschooling, not just unschooling, and I agree.      I was trying to isolate the "tried and true" elements that had carried me through all kinds of externally different forms of homeschooling.

I still don't feel I exactly have a handle on what sets unschooling apart from these principles that apply to homeschooling in general. For me, it seems to be that I focus on those things FIRST, rather than just focus on them when things are going wrong. But it's still so vague -- I feel like deschooling all fall has given me a sense of what unschooling IS, but I am not able to put it into words very well, which is frustrating for me .   Then I have to keep writing MORE words, and MORE, as you can see, trying to pin it down!

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Posted: Dec 28 2005 at 11:52am | IP Logged Quote Willa

Happy Birthday, Joe Max!! Oh, it's hard to believe he's already five!

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Posted: Dec 28 2005 at 4:33pm | IP Logged Quote Leonie

WJFR wrote:
. But it's still so vague -- I feel like deschooling all fall has given me a sense of what unschooling IS, but I am not able to put it into words very well, which is frustrating for me .   Then I have to keep writing MORE words, and MORE, as you can see, trying to pin it down!


Willa,

I think unschooling is like a lot of "big" things in our lives - hard to define succintly, as it has a myriad of faces. Other biggies for me are my Faith, my parenting, my marriage relationship - how can I define those in a few sentences?

That said, the article below is a great description of unschooling and how it works - both in specifics for the author's family and in general principles that describe unschooling in many homes.

An Unschooling Landscape

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Posted: Dec 29 2005 at 8:16am | IP Logged Quote Cindy

Leonie wrote:
I think unschooling is like a lot of "big" things in our lives - hard to define succintly, as it has a myriad of faces. Other biggies for me are my Faith, my parenting, my marriage relationship - how can I define those in a few sentences?



Leonie,

I agree, it *is* a big thing. The more I see the relationships it can foster, the dance with the children-- it reminds me of my Faith and yes, marriage, too.
It is like part of the air in the house, a different way to breathe...

Kinda like when I wrote the novel for National Novel Writing Month. One reason I did it was the promise the characters would take on a life of their own.. beyond what I could think up or create.

They did. It was weird and fun to watch. I think unschooling does that, too--- if I let it.

I have enjoyed the discussions of late.

Cindy

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